This Secret Will Help You Quit PMO For Good

Quit Porn

So you’ve read and implemented my advice about finding a replacement habit and using that to reprogram your habit cycle.  And it works, some of the time.  But it’s not foolproof, and it’s not easy.

I’ve been studying and experimenting with habit change for some time now. I know what works well and what doesn’t.

If you’re a human being and not a robot, you probably find it incredibly difficult to do your replacement habit on a consistent basis when you’re first starting off.   Well, from my own recent experiments and reading on habit change, I think I’ve figured out how to make it easier on you to solidify your replacement habit.

Until a few months ago, I’ve been focusing on the intrinsic rewards of the replacement habit.  For example, lets say that the reward you get from PMO (porn-masturbation-orgasm) is physical excitement. So you decide to make push-ups your replacement habit, because it gives you a physical reward (endorphins, dopamine), thus completing the habit loop.

But then sometimes things don’t go smoothly and as you planned. You find that you don’t feel all that motivated to do push-ups each time you get a craving to PMO.  What do you do then?

The Old Way: Brute Willpower

What I used to do in this situation was to just use “brute willpower” to make myself do the push-ups.  I would just basically yell at myself internally until I finally did it.  And the physical craving would be satisfied.  But this takes a huge amount of willpower, and some of us just starting out with improving ourselves don’t have access to enough of it to constantly deal with the cravings.  And as Kelly McGonigal points out in the great book, The Willpower Instinct , willpower is a finite resource within us. So once you’ve exhausted that resource, it’s like your defenses are down.

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5 Books That Will Supercharge Your Reboot and Make You a Better Man

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I have a secret to share with you:

I am a hard case when it comes to habit change. It is a real struggle for me to make positives stick changes in my life.

There, I admitted it.

But because I am naturally such a hard case, it led me on a quest to find the best techniques for making changes in my life.

The Fighter

Here’s an analogy. In MMA (mixed martial arts), you might have a really strong fighter with so-so technique. Sure, he’s gonna win a certain amount of fights just because he’s damn strong.

Then you’ve got the fighter who has a small frame and isn’t naturally very strong. That’s me. But because he isn’t naturally big or strong, he learns the best techniques from the best teachers. Continue Reading

3 Reasons Why My First 3 Reboot Attempts Failed

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I’m often asked in emails from readers how I was successful in rebooting. This is a great question to ask – learning from others who have gone before you is an excellent strategy. I’ve addressed some of the strategies that helped me out in a previous post.

But what is equally important is why my first three attempts at rebooting failed.

That’s right: my first three attempts at rebooting ended in relapses – the first two of which had me binging on more porn in a day than I would have normally watched in a week.

I think these causes of relapse are common reasons guys fail in their reboots, so listen up and learn from these.

3 Reasons Why My First 3 Reboot Attempts Failed

1. I was using willpower alone.

This is one of the BIGGEST reasons why I failed. The first two times, I didn’t replace the PMO habit, I simply quit cold turkey. While relying on willpower alone worked for me for a while (my first two reboots were 18 and 50 days respectively), it was draining and eventually I would just cave in.

As human beings, we have a limited amount of willpower from which we can draw upon daily. Once you use that up, you’re up a creek without a paddle. And yes, in the long term it’s possible to increase your willpower through practice and habit building (for example going to the gym or meditating), but it takes time and focused energy.

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5 Reasons Why I Succeeded In Recovering From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

I'm free

I’m free! I haven’t used porn since April, 2011. That’s two years now that I’ve been completely free from a crippling ED-causing porn addiction.

I think there are two main reasons I have been successful:

1. I eliminated habit triggers as much as possible.

2. From the start, I had a game plan for contingencies.

Here are 5 concrete tips for how I accomplished this:

1. I replaced the porn habit.

Many guys try to quit porn cold-turkey and find it near impossible.  What many success stories have in common is that they replaced the habit with something else. This means when I got a craving to use porn, I would immediately start my contingency habit – in my case, a seven minute custom workout routine – I call it The Fapstronaut workout (catchy, no?).  At it’s most basic, it was simply 20 push ups followed by 30 sit ups. As the cravings became more and more sporadic (and I became fitter!), it turned into a longer/more fun workout (I’ll share it in an upcoming post).

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