Porn and ED: My Story of Overcoming Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

sad-man

I was addicted to porn from age 14 to age 27. That’s 13 years and a LOT of porn watching. What started innocent enough at age 12 when I found my dad’s Playboy collection, turned into an obsessive addiction to Internet videos and DVDs that literally took over my life. Because of my excessive porn habit, at various points in my life, I had terrible problems with Porn-Induced ED and sexual anxiety. At 18 I experienced mild porn-induced erectile dysfunction, and in my mid-twenties it became so bad I was frequently depressed.

The turning point was when I was 24 It had been a few months since I had seen my girlfriend. I was really in love with her and found her very attractive. At the time, she was the perfect girl for me – sexy, petite, beautiful, funny and super charismatic. But when I saw her after 4 months of us being apart, when we were stripping off our clothes to make up for lost time, I couldn’t get an erection. What is happening? My mind raced. What is wrong with my penis? Why don’t I have an erection?? She is so amazingly sexy, but physically nothing was happening for me. At various times before that I had experienced some ED from time to time, but this was a complete shut down. No reaction. I didn’t put it together at that moment, but it was because when I was away from her for 4 months, I was using porn daily – sometimes two times per day. I was also “edging” which compounded the problem.
It took almost two months to get back to somewhat normal sex with her, and my confidence suffered a noticeable shock.

After that relationship ended, I experienced sporadic ED problems with other girlfriends, especially the first few times with a new girl — sometimes to the point where it would ruin the relationship. I was miserable.

I went to see a doctor, a sex therapist, even a hypnotist to try to fix my problems. At first I didn’t realize that the problem was pornography and “edging”, but after I discovered some online articles about the link between porn and ED, I knew what I had to do: give up pornography, forever. But knowing what to do and doing it are two different things. I have overcome many difficult obstacles in my life – overcoming crippling shyness by joining toastmasters and entering speech contests; losing over 50 pounds by changing my diet and exercising — but this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I failed many times before I succeeded in permanently quitting pornography. I read every website with anything useful, I read accounts of other recovering users, and I bought books on psychology, NLP, and habit change. It took me over a year of real, genuine struggle – 20 days, 50 days, 100 days and then back to zero – before I was able to find what worked for me.

I am now 30 years old and have been completely porn-free for a little over 2 years. Since overcoming my porn addiction, I have gotten back the libido I once had and now have a great, satisfying, active sex life. I no longer have any sexual anxiety and have more confidence in the bedroom than ever before. I want you to know, because when you’re going through withdrawal and depression from quitting, it’s important to know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

A little more than a year ago, as I started talking more openly with my male friends about how quitting porn completely turned around my sex life, they would confess to me about their problems – the exact same problems I had experienced years before! So, I started giving advice and essentially running a support group. Over the months, I helped them overcome their addictions and get back their natural libido, by showing them exactly what I did. I gave them the step-by-step program that I used to get over my addiction. And my friends started saying things like “man, there’s gotta be so many guys out there with these problems – and it’s only going to get worse as internet porn gets better and more and more prevalent. Brian, you need to help these guys.”

I started this site to help people like me. It took me years of trial and error to figure out what works to quit porn. I’ve talked to hundreds of other men online about their experiences quitting porn and getting back their sex life, and I want to share the information.

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News:

Recently, I created a professionally recorded mp3 to listen to when you’re tempted to use porn.

It’s called “The Craving Crusher”.  Yeah, cheesy. I know.  But it works.  :)

You can download it here for free:

==>>  Craving Crusher mp3   <<==

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    About Brian

    I am 30 years old and have overcome my long-standing addiction to Internet porn and fully recovered from serious porn-induced erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. For more about me, see my story.

    Comments

    1. Are you collecting other stories? says:
    2. Hey man, I’m really going through an anxiety attack here and could use your thoughts. I’m 17 and have pretty bad porn induced ED. Years of watching fucked up porn has brought me to the point where it was difficult to get an erection even after watching that! Anyway, after numerous 10 and 14 day streaks of no PMO and failing I decided I need to do this. I’m fucking desperate here man! A few hours ago I was watching coronation street and the pressed a button by accident and the damn television switched to porn.
      I only saw a few seconds of it but I’m really worried that I relapsed and have to start over again. Actually, worry doesn’t even describe. I’m freaking out man. I’ve been noticing all these confidence boosts since I started my reboot and I can’t stand the idea of going back to day 1. I’m ready to go 3 or 4 months to become fully rebooted again and stay off porn for life!
      But I gotta know man, did I relapse? Do you think I did any damage/ setbacks whatsoever. Like I said, I only watched a few seconds then turned it off.

      Each time I relapsed in the past I would feel so bad that I’m pretty sure knowing that feeling is enough to keep me from ever watching porn again, or to be honest even jerking off. I’ve decided to quit porn AND masturbation for life.

      Quick question, after you were fully rebooted, did you/ could you masturbate again without any problems. Do you still use fantasy?

      Look forward to your reply,
      Dylon

      • Hey Dylon,

        Thanks for your comment.

        When I read your story, I REALLY feel for you man. I’ve been in that place where you’re at right now. It’s a difficult journey, bout you can overcome it.

        It sounds to me like you have already hit rock bottom and have the motivation to get over this addiction.

        First off, to answer your first question: No, you didn’t relapse. Okay, so you saw a few seconds of P on TV. You were able to control your urges and not M, right? No big deal – you did NOT ruin your reboot.

        What I would advise is two things:

        1. Make your reboot easier by removing temptation as much as possible. That means canceling your internet if you can (maybe you live with parents and may not be able to), or alternatively getting rid of your internet connection in your room. This will make things easier. As for TV, see if you can block those channels with a password – chose random numbers and don’t write em down.
        2. Find yourself a habit replacement. Something that you can do when you feel the urge to PMO. See this article.

        And to answer your second question: After completing about 120 days of my reboot, I reintroduced M into my life. But I was very careful on a few things:
        1. I didn’t do it too much. Maybe twice or three times a week, max.
        2. I didn’t use ANY images
        3. I tried as much as possible to mimic the sensation of real sex, and relaxing and focusing on the physical sensations – not on my imagination.
        4. For a long while (8 months maybe>) I didn’t use ANY fantasy. It’s really important to teach your body how to FEEL again, rather than react to visual cues. Nowadays, (2 years later) because I’m fully recovered, I’ve introduced some fantasy that mimics real life – for example, about girls I’m dating. In my opinion, it hasn’t hurt me to do this.

        Good luck buddy.

    3. Typing this as my wife lies in bed & upset with me! After 3 years of marriage & almost a year of failed attempts. She is mad and tells me there’s a problem with me! She wants me to get checked! Now I get full on erections in morning or when I M it’s just that I’ve gained weight in last one year and don’t feel so good when it comes to sex with her anymore. I love her and am very attracted and I make my excuses due to she didn’t get me in the mood, or I’m too full after dinner or no blowjob, but I can’t keep fighting and want to perform for us. I’ve been watching porn since a young teen and try and sneak away to watch porn for when and as long as I can. I need help or else my marriage will end up in the dumps and I don’t want my wife to feel unattractive to me. I know I’m capable just don’t know why it gets limited when it comes to her.

      • Hi Hank. I really feel for you. From your story, it sounds like you have a good reason to quit porn for good. But it also sounds like you and your wife will need some help on your journey. There’s no shame in getting help. I recommend contacting Mari A. Lee, at http://www.marileetherapy.com/ I have no financial interest in recommending her – I just believe she might be able to help. She specializes in helping couples facing porn addiction. If you want to try quitting on your own, there’s some great resources at http://www.yourbrainonporn.com

    4. Hi, I’m 29 years old, and I just begun to go cold turkey. Been starting to have this problem, and I know it’s related to all the porn I’ve watched because whenever I quit, my libido improves. Now, I’m reaching 30 this year, and I might be afraid that the damage is already done and there ain’t no going back, but I still get erections, and I still get the occasional morning wood, but it feels not as hard. Again, when I’ve gone cold turkey before, it improves, but I am scared, and I fear that, at my age, there is no going back, and it will only get worse.

      • Hi Arqa,
        Thanks for your comment.
        First off, I believe it’s never too late to reverse the effects of porn on your libido. From the sounds of it, you are experiencing some effects on the strength of your erections and libido. But what you described is mild compared to what many guys have gone through (myself included!) and overcome — so don’t worry.

        The short answer is that your brain is very elastic and if you help it change (by giving up porn for a long period) you can get back your libido and erections. But you have to commit to the process of giving up porn first.

        Time to man up!

    5. Um, I just figured out that I have porn induced erectile dysfunction. I’m 33 years old. I’ve been watching porn online probably since I was 19 years old. Over the years, my ED has gotten worse and worse and I couldn’t figure out why I was able to watch porn and be able to ejaculate once a day, but not with a live girl. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. And just tonight, I realized I’m not that hard anymore when I’m watching porn. I’m just sick and tired of porn. I need to quit. I’m going to quit. I want my life back.

      • Hi Dan,
        Don’t lose hope! Keep in mind that many people (myself included) have successfully overcome porn-induced ED.
        Also, sometimes you have to reach rock bottom to find your way up to the top. For all the pain and suffering I went through, ultimately it was an opportunity to grow and change my life for the better.
        Good luck with your reboot and don’t be a stranger if you have questions along the way.

    6. im 41 and single an noticed my libido is terrible, I was dating this girl when i was38 and my erections were terrible from dirty magazines an d such. its not just internet porn that can cause this its porn in general, from dvds to tapes and so on, it really sux when u masturbate and cum with a soft to no erection, i also suffer from pe, which i am on meds for, paxil, which i hear helps, i want my life back, no more porn ever for this guy. im hoping it does not take 2 long, for i want my cofidence back and a girlfriend by january, hoping paxi helps. I also would lose me erection trying to put a condom on, something that never happened in my twentys,

      • Hi Todd,

        Thanks for the comment.

        I agree that porn-induced ED can be caused by excessive use of other porn (and fantasy) as well.

        It sounds like you’re ready to take control of your sex life by quitting porn and rewiring your brain to real sex.

        I would say from hearing your story that shooting for January is a reasonable timeline. It sounds like you may have also developed some performance anxiety as well (a common theme for guys losing their erection when putting on a condom). You might try doing some daily relaxation exercises — they helped me: http://rebootblueprint.com/overcome-performance-anxiety/

        Cheers,

        Brian

    7. i dint take you two years to recover, only 4 months right

      • Hi Todd,

        No, it didn’t take me 2 years — the two years is how long I’ve been porn free.

        But, it took more than 4 months in my case because I slipped back into heavy porn use during my first 3 reboot attempts. I finally overcame it when I started using habit replacement and not just plain-old willpower.

    8. How long did it take for you to get complete morning wood back and random full Erections?. I’ am approaching 11 wks with only 2 little screw ups, where I viewed it, but I have crossed over and can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know i’ m doing well because I’ m losing all interest in porn and all other aspects of my life are going great. I just haven’t had Morning Wood or Random full Erections for a LONG LONG TIME. hhh

      • Hi R,

        Thanks for the comment.

        That’s great to hear that you’re experiencing some of the many benefits of rebooting.

        As for morning wood: in my case it was maybe 2 months into the reboot. But I know it varies a lot with guys. Here’s a thread on YourBrainOnPorn that discusses this: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/how-do-i-know-when-im-back-to-normal#erections

        The important thing is not to lose hope. The brain is an amazingly adaptable organ — it can and will change if you give it enough time and stack the cards in your favor.

        Cheers

    9. Brian,

      I am 25 and now i am in the period of rebooting, it is been three weeks since i have started. As i am not getting erection’s i am feeling terribly apprehensive about my performance. My thoughts are much dominated by performance anxiety rather than the positive hope. How to overcome the thoughts of performance anxiety during this period???

      Looking forward for your reply.
      Thanks

    10. Did you have to uri
      nate every 5 minutes

    11. So I think I should say, this is a real deal problem. Big time. I was having the exact same problems. Low sex drive, inability to keep it up when I did get it up, inability to climax. This eventually lead to performance anxiety which lead to drinking heavily, (more about that later) which lead to even more anxiety. What the hell was going on? I went and was tested for everything from low testosterone, to diabetes to prostate cancer. Hell, at the time I was 30 years old! I should be banging like a rabbit!
      Thinking it was physical not phschological, I did everything I could dropped the only extra weight I had. I now have a body that makes women wet as I just walk by. Guess what? That made things even worse! I could have my pick at anytime whenever I wanted but I couldn’t bang them! I couldn’t get it up. Or stay up. BOOM! More anxiety!
      Now the drinking part. I had a rough time in life and was drinking often. I thought that was the problem. I’d go out with a girl and get smashed. Perfect excuse, whiskey dick! Genius. If I could just nail them in the morning, I’d get over the anxiety and things would be good. Well, that worked for a little while then even that method started to fail…..quickly. I was getting depressed which made things even worse. And then some more heavy drinking and I watched that god like body disappear. More depression as the women that three themselves at me just months before wouldn’t even give me the time of day. Don’t get me wrong, I was still in good shape and not overweight, but all of these problems compounded and affected the way I would carry myself. Confidence, low if exist any at all, wen can smell that shit on you like cheap hooker perfume. My life was spinning out of control and I didn’t know why. Keep in mind, all these adverse happenings and guess where I ended up everytime? Jerking off to Internet porn. I could get one super hard erection for that crap. Blow a huge load and feel really good.
      Eventually I found this website and others like it and was amazed at the sheer ammount of comments. I wasn’t alone! Thank god and there was something that I could do! QUIT WATCHING PORN!!!! I re ignited the problem I had as soon as I realized other were describing almost exactaly what was happening to me. I had to do something quick. I looked back to past relationships. As things got worse in the sack, the porn was flowing faster and more frequently getting more and more extreme. It happened slowly. Real slow, I didn’t even notice it until I was reading like you are now.
      I had recently met a great girl who I wanted a relationship with. It was to the point of sex. Guess what? Didn’t have a condom. Great! An excuse. Next time would be different and I’d come across these problems which would lead to more anxiety and further problems. Here I was, screwed. Two days to go until I would see her again. Now what?
      I didn’t look at porn or masturbate for two days. Woke up with morning wood that morning (hey buddy where have you been?) lol went to her house and things got hot, quickly. Luckily, she had her period and we wouldn’t be banging that night either. But I did get a blow job. A great one. I couldn’t come but she kept on trying(she’s a trooper) and eventually I did get off. It wasn’t easy.
      That’s where I am now. Hoping to reboot quickly. It’s hard to do. I’m bored and want to look at porn. I wanna get my rocks off so badly. Resist the urge. Read some websites like this to remind you that yes this shall pass too. ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!! At least to yourself. You’ll see people commenting on things like this making jokes and whatever else. Guess what? They have the se problem and refuse to admit it. If they didn’t they would have never found this site, or any site about porn and ED because they wouldn’t be looking. LMAO good more dissapointed women for me to un-dissapoint.
      Guys, this is real. Don’t listen to some muscle head juice freak on some website that has all the answers as long as the come from the mirror in the gym, and don’t listen to people who talk about how much porn they watch and how many girls they bang. The are in DENILE. TAKE BACK YOUR MAN HOOD!!!
      I happen to be really good at reading people. I can see through them. It’s a gift and a curse. I’m at the bar, I look around, I see many men there that are talking to chicks and they KNOW that even if the do bag this chick the wont be fucking her. I can see it in people’s eyes at the supermarket, on the street, in traffic. It’s amazing how many people are affected. QUIT NOW!! Ask and seek the support you need. You can change this but YOU need to do it and it isn’t easy. You’ll stumble, fall get back on the porn wagon, get off it again. Stumble, fall again. Be strong and know that very soon, if you’re serious about it, you’ll be banging chicks like never before and they will never leave because chances are that you’re one of the only guys recently that could “put the boots to her”
      That’s all for now. Good luck!

    12. Hi, how are you?

      I have a few questiosn about porn induced reboot.

      1) Is it alright to have sex during the reboot? Will it make my recovery take longer?

      2) Im 19 and have been watching porn 1 – 2 times a day since i was 12 ( normally 20-30 min sessions ). How long does it might take to recover?

      3) Suppose im on day 40 of my reboot ( no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm ) and i have a chance to have sex with some girl. Is it less probable to have ED ( considering that I’m 40 days out of porn )? Or the penis sensitiveness only gets better after flatline and the full recovery process? Im afraid of not having sex for like 4-5 moths since I’m really close to loosing my virginity ( failed at 2 recent chances due to ED) and i dont want to wait more 5 fucking months.

      Thank you very much for doing this website i really appreciate anyone that helps other man with porn induced ED. I just found out this problem a few days ago and im shocked. Thanks you again for the tips, you website has helped me clarifying things.

    13. I’m 16 and have been watching porn for 3 years. I’m not sure if that’s bad but something inside me feels like its bad and I should stop and its better little by little however I want to stop completely I’m too scared to talk to some of my male mated about it and I can’t even talk to my parents about anything sexually relative. I tend to think about it a lot which prevents me from sleeping. What should I do? Thanks for taking your time to read this.

      • Hi John,

        Thanks for your comment.

        I think you should listen to your inner voice. If it’s telling you that you’re watching too much porn, you should cut it down.

        Also, it sounds like you’re a worrier — I used to be one too. I found a few things that really helped me calm down my mind: Meditation in the morning, reading fiction before bed, and finally guided progressive relaxation meditation before going to sleep. It really helped me change.

    14. 61 days so far and no progress, this sucks, i was hoping for 90 days but i dont see 29 days more helping, even if thats is ways away.

      • Hi Tod,

        Don’t lose hope man. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. I think there’s a certain anxiety that comes with trying to speed up your results. Maybe try letting go of a deadline and just focus on improving your life in all areas.

        Good luck.

    15. Thank you so much for this Brian. I am 25, and started having problems with real partners at around 21. I chalked it up to being too drunk in college. Well, just last week I had the worst night ever with a girl of my dreams. She was funny, fun, spontaneous and we had three amazing dates. After not being able to get it up, she won’t call me back. I am beyond depressed, but I now know the problem. I most certainly suffer from porn induced ED. I started porn at age 13 and it has only gotten worse and worse over the years. I was at daily porn use from 16 until now almost. I fear I lost a shot at the girl of my dreams, but plan to start my journey to recovery now. Any insight into when I can recover? What to expect in terms of the process? I went out last night and made out with a girl I really don’t like just to boost my confidence after this ordeal, but I am lying awake in bed at 6 am still thinking about what could have been. This is why I know I must fix this now.

    16. Hi,

      I think i have the same problem, i never have a morning erection or a spontaneous one but i do have (most of the time) them when i fantasize about a non-porn related girl and when a girl lies next to me, just not really ‘hard’. Usually i have one and when i’m having sex it kinda disappears because i hardly feel anything..

      I quit watching porn really easy about a week ago, i have no need for it whatsoever anymore but i do hope i will get my full libido back..

      i would like to know if anyone recognizes this stage and how long it would most likely take to recover and how?..

      hopefully someone can answer me this

    17. I’ve recently developed an issue with maintaining an erection while having intercourse with my girlfriend of 7yrs. I find her attractive and i definitely blame the porn, you see i can get an erection (though not as strong as when watching porn) while we foreplay but once we move on to penetration I can not seem to stay focused and lose my erection, after i lose it there is nothing i can do to bring it back . I used to think that it was a physical issue and that something wasn’t functioning with my penis, but the more i looked into porn induced ED the more it made sense. I usually watch extreme hardcore porn that portray scenes that I know will never take place with my girlfriend and I. My question to you is that if I quit porn and masturbation altogether and i happen to get an erection during intimacy with my girlfriend, should i have sex with her or should i avoid regular sex with my girlfriend as well ?

    18. Brian,

      This article really gave me hope and I appreciate it. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing.

      I’d really like your opinion on my situation.

      I was first exposed to porn when I was about 10-years-old, my buddies and I found one of their dads Penthouse magazines. I started masturbating in 5th grade, even before I had developed sperm! Around 12-years-old, I was flipping through the HBO channels and saw softcore porn. As I got older, I would get glimpses of hardcore porn here and there. But when I was about 17, it become a regular habit.

      I was hesitant to think anything was wrong with it. I was raised religious, but I would rationalize “Yeah, it’s immoral, but at least I’m not out there having sex.” I would rationalize that it was harmless – just a way to let off steam.

      I haven’t had too much sex in my life. I lost my virginity when I was 19 and I’ve probably had intercourse under 10 times. But each time, I haven’t felt the same as I do when I watch porn. I would again rationalize and say “Well, I wasn’t that into the girl, so the mood wasn’t right.” Or “I have other things on my mind.” But I know full well that I’m the horniest man alive – if a naked girl is in front of me I should get an erection.

      I did notice that with one girl, after getting more comfortable with her, I was able to get stronger erections and sustain them. So this gives me a little hope.

      I’m 23 now.

      Last night, I had an amazing time with this gorgeous black woman (not that that’s an important detail, but I’m just throwing it in there.) This was the third time we hung out. We went downtown, hit up a couple bars, saw a movie, went for dinner/dancing. Totally out of my element (I don’t “date” much) but I had a great time. When we got back, she didn’t want to have sex because she was on her period (which is cool with me, especially on the third date), but we were heavy making out and she went down on me. I was amazed at how long my penis stayed limp. Eventually, I got semi-hard, but it just didn’t feel right. Luckily, I ejaculated after about four minutes of her giving me a BJ. Once last night and once this morning (9-28). So maybe my life’s not all that bad, but to be honest I was so scared she’d change her mind and want to have actual sex, and I’d be there wanking my penis until I was finally able to get hard enough to go inside her.

      Somethings not right. I need to stop watching porn cold turkey but I’ve tried to stop for religious reasons before and it hasn’t worked. This scares me, because I believe and fear God, but that wasn’t even enough. Hopefully fear of a ruined sex life will be enough added incentive to motivate me.

      Starting immediately I’m quitting porn. This girl really likes me and I her, so I want to do it for that plus the moral and spiritual reasons.

      Wish me luck, and any advice you can think of based on my situation is appreciated! Good to know I’m not alone.

      • Hi All,

        I’m just coming around to the idea that I have porn-induced ED and thinking back on my 20′s, I can pinpoint specific periods of a couple of months where I just couldn’t get it up and it makes perfect sense that this was from porn. I just turned 30 and I’ve recently started up another period of having trouble with erections during real sex. I attribute this newest recurrence to the fact that I was traveling for a long time and didn’t have many sexual partners for a number of months in a row and relied on porn and video/text sex with girls I knew to get my rocks off. This agrees completely with all the other posts I’ve seen up above because it uses visual stimuli or imagination, not physical stimulation.

        When I had problems in the past, I would attribute it to nerves and performance anxiety, which I still think is partly true. If you can’t get it up once because the visual stimulation from porn isn’t there, then the next time you’ll be thinking about it and it will be even less likely. The need for visual stimulation from porn coupled with that one failure can get you into serious downward boner spirals. I would work through it each time by remembering that it’s only psychological, and after a month or two I would return to normal. I connected my problems with performance anxiety, but until now I couldn’t figure out why this problem would return periodically and I’d have to get through my performance anxiety cycle AGAIN AND AGAIN: porn addiction.

        I’ve noticed that people are very concerned with details about relapsing once or how exactly it should be done, but I think it’s more individual than that even though we all share the same problem. I think basically it all boils down to two things:

        reacquainting yourself with physical stimulation and not letting those past hard-on failures stick in your head

        I think cutting or stopping porn usage is a great idea, and having a time frame may help you get to the point that you need to start reacting to physical touch again, but I think the devil is NOT in the details. When you ask “Do I have to start back from square one”, that tells me that people are looking at it wrong. A perspective I like is that porn has gotten us here. It is not something that helps us get back into control of our bodies like we want to, in fact it removes that control, so we should avoid it. OK that’s simple. Now about Masturbation. I think M is very natural and necessary, but if you feel that you are using visual stimuli or your imagination (similar to watching porn), then you should probably take Brian’s excellent advice and take a good long break. It’s all about finding a new relationship with your body and the things that turn you on, getting very worried about masturbating once is not going to help things.

        In summation, don’t overthink all of this. Realize that porn is a problem, maybe a very big one, and is just an unhealthy crutch that we should remove from our lives. We need to begin approaching sex and M from a different perspective, one about connecting emotionally and physically with a person (sex) and being turned on by touch (sex and M). Work on being inside the moment instead of being an observer. I think Brian has an excellent system that could work for a lot of people, in fact I will almost certainly use his system myself, but I will also think about it less as giving something up based on strict rules (going “cold turkey” sounds so difficult!) and more as living my life, including my sex life, in a different way.

        Thanks so much for building this site!

    19. Thank you for this article!!! Very inspiring for me as I try to fight this thing!!!

    20. i have abstained from pmo for a month now..it seems like i made progress but i go limp before penetration does that mean i need to go longer of no pmo to recover?and another question i receive bj but dont orgasm does that count as relaspse or is it allowed? I would greatly appreciate an answer and any advice.thanks

      • Hi Steve,

        Thanks for your question.

        When you say you go limp before penetration, it makes me think that you may have performance anxiety. Are you able to get erections on your own without porn or fantasy?
        Oral sex doesn’t “count” as a relapse, as the goal of the reboot is to get back to real sex. However, there is still the question of whether you’re “ready” to get back to real sex — which depends on how severe your ED was and how well your reboot is going (morning wood, natural erections, etc).

        Best of luck.

    21. I have gone PMO for 12 days yet not once have I got an erection. I don’t have the same sensations I would get nor do I get turned on. I would have to self stimulate to get it up. I’m not even sure if it’s porn induced. What do I do? I can’t see a urologist because I don’t have insurance. This problem started a year ago when I studied abroad and drank every day for a month. Prior to this I was fine but since I literally couldn’t get it up for the life of me.

      • Hi,

        Thanks for your comment.

        Are you sure that you’re experiencing PIED? From your comment it sounds like you might be dealing with performance anxiety from an experience you had while drinking.

        Anyway, about your reboot: It’s not unusual for a guy to still not see erections 3 weeks into a reboot.

        See this article about flatlining and what some guys experience. It can be pretty anxiety-inducing — I know, I’ve been there. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-recovery-and-mysterious-flatline

        Hope that helps.

    22. When I wrote my story a few months ago on http://PornAddictionEnd.com I had no idea there are so many success stories written online. Anyway, if anyone is looking for more success stories can visit the page I mentioned.

      Cheers and keep up the good work.

    23. Hey I am 19 years old and am a virgin. Recently i have noticed less random erections(could be because puberty is over) and an inability to get hard without some sort of physical stimulus. When I do beat I notice that it is hard but not as hard as I have had before. Finally I have had one sexual encounter but experienced whisky dick(I was wasted). I have had a lot of anxiety over this recently as I dont want it to be permanent and as a result has killed my libido. However, I do still masturbate frequently around one to two times per day. Only difference is I have stopped using porn, and now usually just use thought. Would stopping masturbating completely alievaite me of this and increase my sex drive? I know getting confidence my next time will be and I don’t have a complete problem getting an erection and once i get it going its fine, but still is not as strong as it used to be and am almost nervous about sexual encounters now as i dont want this to happen. would stopping all masturbation be bad? or could it actually help? I really have no reason too and could easily stop

      • Hi Billiam,

        Thanks for sharing your story.

        It sounds to me like you’re experiencing a combination of things:
        - your erections are not as strong lately possibly because of an over-reliance on fantasy or maybe the way/frequency you masturbate. (Question: do you use a strong grip while masturbating? This can train your penis to only respond to a “death grip”)
        - you experienced a time when you couldn’t get an erection and have anxiety about that happening again.

        First thing, I know this is tough to do, but don’t think about it too much. Worrying doesn’t do any good — it just makes you more anxious about future situations.

        My advice would be:
        - cut down on or completely cut out masturbation and see how it affects you. It can’t hurt to test this.
        - if you do masturbate, try masturbating only using touch (light touch, that mimics sex) and sensations (no fantasy, pornography or images) and see what happens. It’s worthwhile to work on this because it trains your brain to respond to touch rather than images.

        Let us know how things go. Hope that helps!

    24. Hi

      NYE 2013 …. laying in bed with a very sexy woman and as soon as I tried to get the rubber on ….BAM …. soft as!

      After telling her it was me and I was overcooked ….which I thought was partly true, I started looking at some websites and stumbled across these. I guess self analysis is easy…”oh yeah, that’s my issue”. Truth is, I’ve known for a while deep down that I have this issue. I’m 38 and single. I’ve been a daily porn user for many years….too many to care to remember. Fucking Porn has taken hours of my life. It has ruined any chance of this relationship taking hold. I felt like a complete **** because I made her feel bad. Humans, we need to give ourselves a break sometimes but I still feel like a ****. I’m sick of this shit and its ruining my life. I never realised how many people suffer in silence like I have been, never realised that this was a real issue, that from years of porn I’ve re wired my fucking brain. I’m not looking forward to re booting. I think the initial not getting a hard on and the drop in sex drive will suck balls (pardon the pun) however I have beaten many things in my life and I’ll beat this fucker. Writing this, has made me realise that over the last two years I’ve had two seriously good holidays. One in my country Australia and one around the world. On both trips I did not have access to a computer….mainly because Im a fucking spastic that is hopeless with technology. On both trips I had a lack of sexual desire and had a hard time whacking off. So at the time I was rebooting and didn’t even know it. Hopefully with some prayer, meditation and clean living, I can beat this fucking addiction. This terrible affliction that many men and women suffer in silence. If you are reading this and you have some or all of the issues that are mentioned in the many comments then you probably have a problem. Hey, fuck it, we all have problems. Post on here and you’ll feel better that others know you have an issue too. We can beat this thing together. Like I said, I’m not looking forward to the reboot but it needs to be done. I would like a normal life again. I have a good recovery time if I hurt myself physically so I’m hoping my brain is the same. Like I said, I’ve beaten many serious things in my life so I’ll beat this. Thanks for this forum. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has this illness. And it is an illness. Any and every addiction is. Good luck all. Peace :)

    25. Oh my god. I am so glad i’m not alone! Im 19 years old and i was about to have sex with a girl i really liked and was really attracted to. I felt really confident, the second i got a semi-boner i grabbed her hand and guided it to my penis. I wanted to get straight into action, so i started stripping off clothes and then said, “your turn.” The blow job got me as hard as a rock but when it came to intercourse my penis became like an accordion. My penis would just grow soft when sticking it in her and when i retried it would just bend and what not. I’m a trooper and i hate giving up. After an hour of just not being able to get hard i started panicking. I got up, said i had to pee and rushed to the bathroom with my phone. I went on the internet, looked up my browsing history and clicked on the last porn video i had fapped to. I got hard right away, and at that moment i knew porn had something to do with it. This was the second time i couldnt keep an erection during sex and i knew i it had to be my last. I have been fapping since 11 years old and you can imagine the messed up shit i was starting to watch as i began running into new types of porn…The rest of the night was awkward. I was laying next to her wide awake, i couldnt sleep. I didnt feel like a man anymore. I have always done “masculine” things and always wanting to be the alpha male. Being a young boy doing thai boxing, to doing jiu jitsu as an early teen to highschool wresting junior/senior year. Now im in college weight lifting continuing my path to manhood at 6 ’2, 220 lbs with only 13% body fat. Despite all of this i still feel as if sex is the most important part of my manhood. After not being able to get hard and perform all of a sudden has completely torn me apart. I went from once being a “cocky bastard” to someone with a confidence level of 0. I have never experienced a depression as hard as this one. I feel like a straight up pussy. I have not fapped in a little over a week and im fighting these urges to masturbate and dont plan on fapping anytime soon. Like i said, i have always hated giving up and i guess you can consider me a sore loser. I will do what it takes to beat this fight against this addiction that has caused the worst depression of my life. Dont give up fellas, keep reminding yourselves why it is that you are doing this. Oh and please excuse the details lol.

    26. While going through the reboot period, can you use viagra or something similar? I have a girlfriend that need me to perform, it’s a really big deal and I will lose her if I dont come through like yesterday…

      • Hi Darell,
        In my opinion it’s okay to use viagra or cialis (sparingly) during the reboot period *so long as you don’t become dependant on them.*

        To be clear: you might just use half a pill at first, and then slowly wean yourself off as your confidence in your erection returns. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life dependant on expensive pills to get erections.

        Best of luck on your reboot!

    27. Rick lesley says:

      Hi, I’m 19 years old and i had a compulsive masturbation problem. Last month, for about one to two weeks , i masturbated like once a day for long periods of time and i used to reach the point of climax but i’d hold the cum in. I used to climax after like 45 mins of masturbation. This went on for a week or so until one fine day i just can’t get an erection. I thought i had over exerted my penis which i had, so i stopped for a few days. Then i started getting morning erections again(but they’re not as strong) a little weak. I get slightly weak boners time and again throughout the day but they’re not rock hard as they used to be. And now when i watch porn, i get kinda hard but cum very quickly and instead of shooting it out, it kinda drips out (like a faucet). This has been bothering me a lot for quite some time now :( . Should i completely stop masturbating(coz i still do it once in two days coz of the urges) and let my penis recover? Any input on this will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

      • Hi Rick,

        Thanks for you comment and questions.

        It sounds like you’re experiencing what is known as “semen leakage.” I would suggest taking a complete break from masturbation for a while (say a few weeks) to see what happens. You can read more about this on Gary Wilson’s YourBrianOnPorn site: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-semen-leakage

        If, after taking a break, you’re still experiencing the physical differences you described, you might think about seeing your doctor.

        Hope that helps!

    28. Truthbetold says:

      Ok listen. At first I thought this was just a bunch of nonsense, but after really reading this from all of you, I know it’s real. I fap about once or twice a day, every day, but I have noticed a huge gap in real sexual interaction with my girl of 15 years. We both have gained weight so i figured that was the issue of why I really don’t wanna have sex with her that much, but now I know it’s all that stupid porn that I watch on the net. Here is the real problem with me and you all. I honesty feel it’s because of all the brainwashing on porn sites and in porn movies. Have you ever noticed that on every porn site there are ads saying “Grow your penis to please your girl”? They will have a picture of a guy with a huge massive monster penis, or it’s a girl with a massive penis in her face and she is looking shocked. Then you have pictures and movies of girls putting their arms or objects next to the massive dong she has in her hands. While they are having sex she is moaning and screaming saying it’s so big over and over again. This is subliminal messages that brainwashes us into thinking that all girls want massive penises, when actually in real life, real girls don’t like being hurt like that and they know that hitting the cervix hurts like us being kicked in the balls. So when we get with a girl ready to have sex, we think we are too small and that she really wants a bigger one. Also. The way those porn stars shoot huge loads that covers the girls whole face like a glazed donut. Them we shoot and it’s not near as much. All of this crap makes us feel less of a man. I think that is the problem. I don’t think we have to give up all porn, just the bad kind. Just watch girl on girl or girls alone masterbating. Luckily for me I have a huge feet fetish for girls feet and just watching a youtube video of a girls beautiful feet gets me off too. I think masterbating is good for everyone. I think everyone should do it and even teach our kids that it’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of because it truly is nothing to be ashamed of. Society brainwashed us that it’s dirty and bad and evil. Anyways…just stay away from porn, the wrong kinds of porn. Porn is nothing like it was back in the 80′s where guys were not so huge down below, didn’t shoot like a fountain, and there was no anal crap. Nowadays most of the porn is anal everywhere that it’s sickening. It’s like guys have forgotten the main thing that separates a girl from a boy, and there is nothing in this world like a real life vagina. The booty doesn’t even come close. Enjoy what God gave you. And remember..No Porn

    29. At the beginning of this year (literally 30 minutes after midnight NYE), my girlfriend and I ended our 13 month relationship. During those 13 months, the sex was amazing; we had it all the time, and never had any performance issues. There was no reason to use porn or masturbate ever. She was all I could have ever wanted. After the breakup, I became severely depressed, and the long cold winter just getting underway wasn’t going to be of any help in getting me out of my apartment. I’m about to turn 30, and I live alone, so when I’m not working, and no longer having a woman to be with, naturally, you get bored.. and we know what happens when you come home alone to a dark, quiet bedroom with a computer + internet..

      So these last 5 months have been a porn frenzy. Like many others, my appetite required more extreme forms of porn, having multiple tabs opened of all the categories you can imagine, skipping around to the “good parts,” etc.

      2 weeks ago I met a beautiful girl in her early 20′s at a mutual friend’s housewarming. Tall, fit, with exotic features. In short, ANY sane man would do a lot of crazy shit to get with this girl. Lucky for me, we hit it off immediately, and naturally, we go at it sooner than later.

      After several incredible minutes, the thoughts start to happen. The anxiety. Negative feedback. My ex. The porn. Everything but this gorgeous young woman laying naked before me. I relax eventually, and finish off.. after maybe what seems like 30-40 minutes of trial and error. Quite sad.

      The next time a few nights later, more of the same. And the next time.. and I’m sick of it. 2 out of 6 times have been successful.. not a good %. I’m going to make a change. I know she is into me and I think she’ll be patient, and the more I see her and the warm weather inspiring me to get out of the house and off the computer, I know I’ll leave the porn behind and reboot myself.. But man what a bad, dark time those last 5 months were and what it did to my psyche and confidence.. I never want that to happen again. Whatever happens with this new person in my life, I won’t allow myself to fall back into that vicious, pathetic cycle. This was a big wake up call and I’m glad I found I’m not alone in this. It’s going to take some time, but I’m certain I’ll come out of this better than ever. That’s my story, and here’s to a promising ending.

    30. Uh, i feel some sort of relief reading comments and the article it self… Let me share my story , I am 22 y old male i have been in relationship with girl since i was something like 18. She didnt want to have sex due to that she was a bit younger then i was and i could understand it i am a virgin also… I think that made my problem even worse i think have been watching porn on daily basis , and plus i have been watching porn since i was very young. Iv just woke up and im having suicidal toughts cause im kinda fed up with problems in my life … The thing is me and my gf broke up like 6 months ago , i think im in best shape of my life iv gained weight looking cutted girls find me really attractive. I always get along with em we make out but i always make and excuse to not have sex. Last 2 days iv spend time with girl whom likes me im not that much into her but what ever , first day i was playing inside her pants and iv got hard. Next day were about to have sex but it was all dead i think it was also cause of performance anxiety. I really dont know what to do anymore , i remem yesterday i had morningwood today my libido feel so low i would have hard time to go hard even with porn. I think ill just have to change alot of stuff in my life but i will quit porn for a very long time and i hope my libido will get and i hope it will help me to deal with performance anxiety , when it comes to that i might even try viagra just to boost my confidence…

    31. Hi, I also think i have ED at times. I am used to wanking myself once a day watching porn or some images for years. Now I find that with my new lover , though i find her very hot (she has a great body) while with her i need to wank myself to get an erection and ejaculate. She says i must get naturally hard which i do when i see her dressed up and feel very hot . But when the time comes I am limp. However when i start foreplay with my dress on I do feel hard but she may not be ready yet ! I have quit porn for the last 1month or so . I need help.

    32. Hi brian,
      I’m 21 y/o and probably have a porn induced ED. I had perfect erections for 3 year long relationship and had no problems at all. After that, for a period of 7 months or so, I didnt have intercourse and masturbated too often (some days 2-3 times) and now I’m with another girl (much more attractive) and I cant get solid erections at all (and if i get an erection i lose it very quickly).. Its ruining my relationship and its very frustrating. So I decided to quit porn and masturbating (it’s day one :D ) but how should i behave with her? Will spending time with her have a negative effect on my recovery? I havent told her, but i know the difference in my sex life and it affects my everyday life.. I was checked by 2 doctors and they both said the problem was absolutely psychological.
      You are doing a great job with your blog by the way.
      Irvin

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