I get a lot of emails asking about how I overcame sexual performance anxiety. And I’ve found a few tried and true strategies that have helped guys that I’ve been coaching , so I want to share them.
First off, let’s figure out if it’s actually performance anxiety that we’re dealing with.
How do I know if I have performance anxiety?
A lot of guys out there think that they are dealing with porn-induced ED, when in fact they are dealing with sexual performance anxiety.
Here is a test that you can do to find out:
- Do you have trouble getting an erection when you’re alone with a woman, but you can get an erection by touching yourself (without porn) in the comfort of your home?
- Do you sometimes lose your erection when you’re with a woman – especially your first or second time with her?
- Do you find yourself worried about whether you’ll be able to get an erection when the time comes?
- Do you avoid sexual encounters because you worry that you might not be able to perform?
If you answered ‘yes’ to some or all of these questions, then you likely are suffering from sexual performance anxiety.
(Note: With porn-induced ED, the erections you get by yourself without porn just aren’t as strong as the erections with porn. Or in extreme cases, you can’t get an erection at all without porn.)
Now let me ask you this:
- Do you wish you could have great sex every time, and not have to worry?
- Do you wish that you could freely have one-night stands without having to worry about whether your penis would work or not?
- Do you wish that you weren’t dealing with this?
I’ll tell you: I feel for you, because I’ve been there. But I’ll also say that it is 100% possible to overcome this. I did it, and you can too.
A few years ago, when I was going through performance anxiety myself, I found it so, incredibly frustrating. I just couldn’t understand why my body wasn’t working. And after I lost my erection a few times, I just expected it to happen.
Even though I was in the best shape of my life and had lots of girls who wanted to sleep with me (I was going out a lot and working on improving my conversation skills with women), I kept on avoiding sex. After a few more failed experiences, I even started avoiding girls I had already slept with. I just felt so embarrassed. And the girls felt bad too.
And when I did go ahead and try to have sex anyway, my penis just didn’t work. The girls would always ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I would make up excuses and say things like “I’m just not feeling well tonight. I think I’m getting a cold or something.” Or I would say that I hurt my back working out at the gym or I was really stressed out from work. Or that I was on a new medication and it had some bad side effects. Excuse after excuse. Bullshit.
The Real Reason
The real reason was that I was thinking too much. I was in my head instead of in the moment. My mind was sabotaging my body. One minute, I would feel turned on and ready for sex, then the next it was like my body had just shut down. I couldn’t relax. And without relaxation, it’s damn hard (pardon the pun) to produce an erection.
There is hope
I want you to know that there is hope. You can overcome performance anxiety so that it’s out of your life for good. Seriously. I did it. I know other guys who have done it. It’s really not that big of a deal. A ton of guys go through this at some point in their lives and have come out the other side. They just don’t talk about it – because they want to forget about it. And I don’t blame them!
The most important tool to get rid of sexual performance anxiety
One of the most important things that helped me overcome sexual anxiety was using guided relaxation.
I seriously cannot stress how much this having a daily, guided relaxation routine helped me in getting over this.
In the last few weeks, I’ve come across an amazing guided relaxation mp3 program designed specifically for people dealing with this, called Mental Impotence Healer. I’ve used it myself (you can never be too relaxed in bed!) and have recommended it to all my coaching clients, with great success. I hope you’ll try it out too!
Mental Impotence Healer is a guided relaxation mp3 set to Theta brain wave music. This music signals your brain to go into the ‘Theta state,’ which is usually reached through meditation or light sleep.
It trains your brain to relax in sexual situations, so that the next time you’re in bed with a woman, you won’t be worrying whether ‘things will work’. It is designed to help you gain confidence and stay relaxed when you’re with a woman in bed.
Now, I want to say — you can 100% overcome sexual performance anxiety without this tool. It is possible that you can completely hear yourself using regular progressive relaxation techniques – I am proof of this. But, this guided relaxation mp3 was created specifically to help people who are suffering from performance anxiety about sex.
It’s something that I really wish I had when I was suffering from sexual anxiety. In fact, I sought out this mp3 because I know it would help guys who are dealing with this.
You don’t have to buy this mp3 program, but I promise you it will help! Plus, they have a money back guarantee if you’re not satisfied. Seriously, I know that it will help you.
Whatever you decide to do, I want to emphasize that performance anxiety is 100% curable. If you set your mind to it and follow a program to train your brain to relax during sex, you’ll be on your way to success. Best of luck!
Have you tried Mental Impotence Healer or a similar product? Let us know how it worked in the comments!