Is Porn Ruining My Relationship?

Porn Can Hurt Your Relationship

When you’re addicted to porn, you’re in another reality. Things around you may seem all hunky dory but in fact they are far from the perceived reality.

Porn hurts. Fact.

“Is porn hurting my relationship?”

Porn doesn’t only hurt it can destroy any and all relationships: relationships between addict and child, addict and friends, addict and colleagues and any other relationship that can be thought of.

Porn can harm in so many ways, during the addiction and after the addiction. Porn takes a person away from reality and the new virtual space they find themselves in becomes more real than the real world they still have to remain part of. Excuses are made to spend time watching porn, time that can be taken away from family, loved ones, work and just people in general, other people take a back seat to the ones in the book, magazine or on the screen. The porn world becomes a friendlier, better and even perceived nicer place to be as the fantasy is so real and without knowing it, and certainly not deliberately the addict is creating a gap that becomes a chasm between him and those real people, the ones who actually have more meaning.

Time and excuses are one part but porn destroys what is reality. The relationship between husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend becomes strained; the fantasy in the porn world just cannot happen in the real the world and the addict struggles to deal with this. A partner is never as sexy as the porn star or a partner gets offended by a desire to do things a little more out of the ordinary. The partner of the addict is not with the person they loved or knew and this slowly pushes the relationship painfully apart.

Porn can end up costing money — as you may know from experience. Money is one of the most argued about topics between couples and families and is one of the top causes for marital breakdown. When porn starts costing money it can start a downward and dangerous spiral. A spiral that becomes full of lies and deceit and the then arguments begin and again the relationship takes a turn for the worse. The finance wasted on porn or porn related activity is finance taken away from normal, healthy things but the addiction must get fed.

Porn changes a man or woman, the person may not feel like it does but it does. The addict wants the fantasy world to come alive and sadly it has little or no chance of doing so. Frustration sets in, impotence sets in finding a man is only aroused by the virtual world because he cannot get the fantasy in the real world and real sexual drive can be all but lost.

Face it: porn doesn’t just harm a relationship. It destroys it and buries it. It is not truly done on purpose and it is to all intents and purposes a by-product or end result of the addiction. Porn takes a person away into another world, one where in the moment things are joyous, happen or even perfect but this darkens the real world.

A porn addict finds it difficult to talk about the addiction. It is not easy: I was there, but eventually when you do speak about it the relief is tremendous. Relationships can be rebuilt, though trust may have been forever lost and only then does the addict realize how porn is harming the relationships that give life its richness.

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This was a guest post by Mark B.

How has porn affected YOUR relationship?  Let us know in the comments below.

 

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    About Brian

    Brian overcame a long-standing addiction to Internet porn and fully recovered from serious porn-induced erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. For more about Brian, see my story.

    Comments

    1. Porn ruined my relationship. I started avoiding sex because the PIED was making me so anxious, then I would feel like shit and just sit at home and watch porn. Vicious circle./.

    2. first of thanks alot for the information you sharing with us at least now we are in the know and that we are not alone.I have six years now watching P and m.the past two years have been so depressing because this is the time I realised it’s effects like PIED and separation from real world it has really injured my self esteem.
      had a question on the reboot program is it advisable to have real sex with a woman?
      thanks regards Denis

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