How to ACTUALLY Quit Porn:  5 Success Strategies To Give Up Porn and Change Your Life

how to ACTUALLY quit porn

So you’ve been trying to give up porn, and you’re realizing… Actually, this is pretty tough.  I’m with you. I went through the struggle.

So let me start by asking you a question:  

How long have you been trying to give up porn?

Take some time to think about your answer, and be honest with yourself.  Has it been more than a few months? A year?

Now I’m going to be honest with you:

If you’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to quit porn for over 6 months, you’re doing it wrong.

I know that’s tough to hear, but you need to hear it. You’re going to have to make some big changes in your life to get this taken care of.

 

How do you successfully give up porn for good?

So what sets people who are successful from those who aren’t?  What is it that you should be doing that you’re not?

Well, based on my own experience, and the experience of thousands of guys I’ve talked to on email, here are the 5 most important factors or quitting porn:

1. Replace the habit.

Because ‘quitting’ something difficult like porn or smoking isn’t actually about erasing the habit, but about replacing it. Once you understand this, and learn about the habit loop, you hold one of the main keys to your unwanted habit.  If the urge you’re satisfying is physical, your replacement habit should be physical. A good example (and one that many people have used successfully) is using push ups or a short exercise routine. In this case, every time you feel the urge to look at porn, stop that automatic impulse and exchange it for push ups. Read more about replacement habits, and decide what yours will be.

habit loop

2. Have a support group or accountability partner.  

This can an online or in-person group, or just one person that knows you and keeps you accountable.  My views on accountability are a bit extreme, in that I advocate it be 100% offline (we already have enough trouble online, don’t we?).  So find a friend that you can really trust, and keep each other accountable on your goals.  Another option is to find an accountability partner online, but to use email or SMS (not forums) to stay in touch. 

3. Become self-aware.

Learning to be aware of your triggers, your unhealthy patterns of thinking, and digging deeper to the underlying reasons of your addiction… these things are game-changer.  How can you become more self-aware? Start by writing a journal. Daily journalling is an inexpensive,  powerful way to self-awareness. Here’s further reading about how understanding your triggers can help you break through your addiction. 

4. Build Keystone Habits.

Keystone habits are habits that help you build other positive habits in your life. For example, exercise is a keystone habit.  This means that exercising daily can have a huge positive impact — not just on your waistline. People who exercise are much more likely to adopt (and stick to) other positive habits.  Other keystone habits include: making your bed every morning; having a morning or before-bed routine; meditating; and even having regular family dinners.

5. Make it easy on yourself.

Do you sleep in the same room as your laptop or smart phone?  Do you keep a stash of porn somewhere in your room or on a hidden hard drive?  Do you refuse to use porn blocking software  because you feel it’s embarrassing or inconvenient?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re sabotaging your success. What successful people do is make it easy on themselves by removing temptation (ie. buying an alarm clock so they don’t have to sleep next to their phone).

So if you’re really serious about beating this thing, it’s time to make some changes in your life. (Need extra motivation? Sign up for my newsletter in the sidebar, and get regular motivational emails directly in your inbox)

Bonus Secret Jedi Mind Trick: the Bet Switch Mechanism

Here’s a little-known, but super powerful way to associate pain with your addiction.   It’s a trick that ultimately helped me overcome my porn habit.  

A few years ago, after trying a few times to quit porn and relapsing, my accountability partner and I decided we needed to raise the stakes.  We agreed that every time we relapsed, we would have to pay $500 to a charity that we really disliked.  So instead of rationalizing ‘I’ll just watch porn this one last time’, it was ‘it’s going to cost me $500 to watch porn!’  Needless to say, it worked, and six months later we celebrated our achievement.  

You can read more about the bet-switch mechanism here. 

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Did I miss anything?  Have you tried any of these techniques?  Let us know in the comments 🙂

About Brian

Brian overcame a long-standing addiction to Internet porn and fully recovered from serious porn-induced erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. For more about Brian, see my story.

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