How To Direct Your Life Away From Porn

director

The following is a powerful guest post by Vincent from Andreian.com

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When we go to the movies, we’re watching something greater than the plot and cast at work. Beyond the lights and the camera, we’re sitting before the vision of one individual.

The Director.

The director has an idea. He has a vision, and needs to bring it into reality. He didn’t know he needed to make a movie, until something changed.

In a moment he knew without a doubt, he needed to create. He is taking an empty space, and changing it into something new. Where before there was no movie, now we have film.

New habits form the same way.

The director doesn’t do all the work. He sets the vision, and begins guiding those around him to see the same vision. He guides them towards his goal of change.

If you’re reading this blog, you may be struggling with addiction to porn or masturbation.

You may be curious why so many men are quitting pornography and masturbation.

You may have heard about inhuman benefits others have experienced after quitting porn. And, now you’re curious.

You may even find the notion that porn is a problem, a lie — and you want to argue within your own mind. That’s fine too.

You may be a man not thinking you have a problem, but you’ve always been curious if something else was better.

Regardless you’re here for a change.

A new direction.

A new scene in the movie that is your life.

Something in your life isn’t sitting right with you. The person who you are, isn’t aligning with the person you want to be, or who you want to become.

The audience, you, aren’t happy. What you wanted from life you aren’t getting. The happiness that should have occurred after college didn’t.

It feels like we’re living in the wrong movie. It feels like we’re not in control of our lives anymore.

When masturbation used to be about pleasure and stress reduction, has now turned on us. Turned on us like the worst betrayal in a crime movie.

We can no longer control our habit.

We need a change.

When we aren’t in control change is difficult. It feels impossible sometimes.

We forget our ultimate power. The saving grace that ties the entire plot together.

The power of choice.

You are the director of your own life.

You may not realize it yet, but you are the director of your own life.

Like the director of a Hollywood blockbuster, you are in total control of your life’s plot.

What direction do you want to go?

Who do you want to associate with?

What habits will the main character have?

You, being the main character of your own story. If porn doesn’t belong in your movie, remove it.

With choice you are free to become the person you’re destined to be.

All self-help books have one general theme: Make better choices.

The director is always in charge.

In the moment you’re considering looking at porn, stop.

Is this the best scene for your life?

Am I happy with this being in my life story?

What if my life is a movie playing on stage. Am I happy with what I’m doing, or full of shame?

Shame tells you your morals. Shame tells you you’re fighting against yourself, like a dog in a lethal game of chasing its tail.

Often we play as an actor, or an extra in our own lives. We let our impulses control us and direct us. Leaving us wondering why we did it after a relapse.

We sit back and watch our lives. We’re running on autopilot, androids doing the same every day.

The same mistakes.

The same life.

The same relapses.

When all we’re trying to become is the greatest version of ourselves.

Unhappiness is a loss of control.

When a relative passes away, we’re heartbroken, and lost.

When we lose our jobs, we have questions, and wish we could have done something different.

When we relapse from pornography, we hate ourselves because we aren’t in control.

These negative events are all related to a loss of control. Some are real, and some aren’t.

We feel like we can’t stop looking at porn. We feel like we can’t control it, and it makes us depressed.

We can control it.

We must direct our lives. We must exercise choice to refuse impulses, navigating ourselves to the proper scenes.

What do you picture in your ideal life? Take five minutes and think on it. What does your perfect life look like?

The pleasure of masturbation will never feel as good as freedom.

True freedom. An understanding that porn and impulses do not control you. Whatever has you trapped, tied, and bound.

We aren’t using the gift of choice. We aren’t conscious in our decision making. The director isn’t steering the plot towards successful conclusions.

We often let our impulses direct. Pushing us back to the position on stage, while we move in a manner that doesn’t sit right with us.

Have you felt your impulses controlling you?

Leading by impulse instead of by conscious choice is the addictive mind.

Why change what we’ve always done when what we’ve always done is so… comfortable?

Porn & Masturbation is watching the same movie on repeat.

You know there is more to life, other movies, yet you’re fine with this one in the player. It’s comfortable, and the unknown is a mystery.

Our unhappiness comes from our lack of control over pornography and masturbation.

It’s our own choices that hurt our recovery, and our happiness.

To change your relationship with pornography, realize porn has as much power over you as you let it.

Why do we let pornography direct our lives?

We aren’t ready to change.

It’s easier to be a man that looks a porn than a man that doesn’t. It’s easy to think this way when you don’t think you have any control over your life.

What movie have you enjoyed with an easy antagonist? Porn and masturbation is difficult to quit because it matters.

The hero in the movie isn’t taking the day off to go fishing. There isn’t any conflict, any action or challenge.

He goes off to slay the dragon. He’s the only one who can.

You’re the only one who can quit.

Often, we need to slow down. The faster we move, the harder it is to exercise choice. Choice to stop looking at porn, to stop masturbation, and to live the lives we want to live.

You will never slay your dragon if you run past the castle.

Changing The Scene

The best question you can ask yourself is: “How’s that working out for you?“.

The director needs to stay on script. If he goes off, the story stops making sense. it loses the magic becoming depressing, and boring. He needs to evaluate his picture over the course of its creation.

Is this the correct direction for the film?” He asks himself.

Is porn and masturbation the right direction for you?

You can choose to be a man that doesn’t look at porn or masturbate.

You can change the direction of your own movie. It’s your choice, your power as a human.

We hear that moderation is acceptable. Our impulses tell us this at the moment of a big breakthrough.

We go to our web browsers and say: ” Okay, this is the real last time. I’m only checking to see if everything still works. This isn’t for me, it’s for my health. It’s been awhile, it’s okay in moderation.”

Moderation is true in certain circumstances. But don’t be afraid to see certain ideas as being black & Grey.

If you’ve never jumped off a bridge before, and someone tells you to jump off one for “moderation”, will you do it?

Jumping off a bridge in moderation is not good for us.

Porn may be your bridge.

It doesn’t make sense for us to engage in practices that will cause harm to us in moderation.

Jumping off a bridge once, is bad in any dose.

Moderation is a spectrum not a law.

What is moderation for porn and masturbation? It could be once a week, a month, never again.

A man who has struggled with an alcohol demon doesn’t believe in moderation. He’s killed that demon, that scene is over with.

He has moved past that scene in his life. He doesn’t need to revisit.

The same for the man who decides porn and masturbation is over for him.

Create Your Script For Life

A movie’s script gives a theme. You need to stay on script, or the movie will fail.

It won’t progress.

The movie won’t perform at its best.

What’s your script? Have you created it yet?

What are your standards? your morals?

Are you a man who looks at porn, or not?

Creating rules for yourself is like creating a movie script. It doesn’t impede on your life, it frees you.

Creating your script gives you total freedom to operate within it. Now, you don’t have to question whether it’s right or wrong.

List your standards, what’s important to you, and stick to the script.

When an impulse comes, look at the script.

Does your life allow porn and masturbation? It’s a yes or no question, a choice, then you move on.

Your standards are your discipline. you need to write down your code & morals.

When you write down your code, you’ll always be able to check against it.

What Will Be your Life Story?

It can be whatever you want. You have the power of choice.

The director decides.

Make the choice to change your life today. Tomorrow is fantasy, a land of empty promises, and forgotten dreams.

You can beat porn and masturbation today by making the choice that it doesn’t belong in your life.

Take ownership and direct your life.

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    About Brian

    Brian overcame a long-standing addiction to Internet porn and fully recovered from serious porn-induced erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. For more about Brian, see my story.

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