7 Tactics to Stop Relapsing and Start Living Your Dream Life

stop relapsing

This is a guest post by Apostol, creator of SlaveToHero, a website dedicated to helping men heal from porn addiction.

Relapsing. That’s one of the major problems that everyone faces while trying to stop porn. Pardon me. It’s not A major – it’s THE Problem that’s stopping everybody from quitting porn. After all – if you stopped relapsing you’ve effectively stopped using porn altogether.

On the other hand – we’re all intuitively accepting relapsing as a problem and a negative thing. “I really tried to stop porn but I relapsed – therefore I’m a failure!” But if you think a little bit deeper into the understanding of what relapsing is – we’ll find out that relapsing actually became a “thing” only when we decided to stop using porn. Before that we had no concept of “relapsing” at all.

But why do we accept it as a negative? Why do we start feeling bad about ourselves when we relapse? Why do we start feeling that guilt, shame and helplessness?

Because we don’t understand it and we have unreasonable expectations about ourselves and the whole process of recovery. You see – relapsing can not be a problem if you think about it as a part of the solution. The fact is – if you really have porn addiction and you’ve had it for a long while(if you’re like me – for years) – you won’t be able to stop it all at once. Chances are that the brain circuits that make you unconsciously want to watch porn have developed for a long while and have become so strong that you won’t be able to weaken them all at once. So maybe – just maybe – relapsing is not the problem that you think it is – but it’s more a part of the solution – it’s part of the healing process. So my tactic no.1…Continue Reading

How to Masturbate Correctly for Men, Part 2: Relax and Take it Slow

Masturbation tips for men

Recap from Part 1

In Part 1 of How To Masturbate Correctly, we looked at why the widespread availability of high-speed internet porn has been creating problems for young men. Namely, why the way most of us masturbate with porn leads to unrealistic expectations, negative self-talk and performance anxiety. In other words, why the way you’re likely doing it can be bad for your erections and performance during REAL sex.

Now, I know there’s plenty of guys out there who have no problems surrounding masturbation and sex. But if you’re reading this blog or searching for “how to masturbate correctly”, chances are you are experiencing some sort of problem.

So now that we’ve looked at what’s wrong with the way most of us masturbate and the associated problems, let’s look at what we can do to fix this.Continue Reading

Porn-Induced ED is Gone and I Feel Like a New Person: An Interview With Noah BE Church

Noah BE Church speaking at a Mystery Box event

Why did you decide to quit porn? Was there something that triggered it?

I used porn from age 9. Unlike some other boys, nobody exposed me to it, nor was it an accident—I was a horny little kid and sought it out. My use really took off when I was 12 or 13 and got a computer with Internet access in my own room. I escalated quickly to some fairly heinous and socially unacceptable content by age 14. I talked to no one about this. For most of my teenage years, instead of taking risks and putting myself out there to form real connections with real women, I turned to the easy fix of porn and dreamed of the day when I would have real sex. When I was 18 that day came, the culmination of years of hope and expectation. And my dick simply did not work. I felt little to no physical arousal, despite finding my girlfriend at the time very attractive. No matter how many times we tried over the next few months, I was completely incapable of real sex, and I had no idea why.Continue Reading

Reboot Success Story: 51 Years Old When I Discovered NoFap

In this inspiring reboot success story, Fercho shares how he woke up to how serious his porn addiction was, and the strategies that helped him overcome it.  This story won 3rd place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest hosted by Reboot Blueprint.

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fercho

I am 51 years old. I started having fantasies with boys from school when I was 11, I understand now that this was because I was bullied at school and was not “popular”: I was shorter, fatter, used glasses, and did not know how to play soccer (very important to be popular if you are a boy in Argentina). I started fapping fantasizing with these boys.

I changed completely when I was a teenager: I grew up, got a girlfriend and became very popular in my social environment. Nevertheless, I “kept” my secret gay fantasies inside my brain.

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How Do I Know When I’m Back To Normal? (Rebooting from Porn-Induced ED)

addiction computer

When you start your reboot, the two biggest questions you likely have are: “how long will my reboot take?” and “how will I know when I’m fixed?” The fact is that there is no rock-solid answer to this – at least not yet. That’s because each person’s experience is unique. Each person’s reboot starts off with a different set of goals and timeframes. For many who are suffering porn-induced ED, the “back to normal” goal will be when they can successfully have an erection WITHOUT the aid of porn and enjoy sex with a partner. For others, it may go even deeper.Continue Reading

How To Quit Porn? Here Are 5 Videos To Get You Started

There’s plenty of great information out there to help you quit porn or overcome porn-induced ED, but it can get lost in the signal-to-noise ration of the web. So here’s a list of 5 videos with great info to help you.

**Important Note: I recommend watching these videos on this page, as the suggested videos in the sidebar on YouTube can trigger a relapse.

1.  #NoWanks: Quitting Porn and masturbation has changed my life

This blunt and humorous video by Gavin McInnis on the Rebel Media YouTube channel highlights the many reasons why too much porn and masturbation can be harmful. It’s a must watch and shares some interesting perspective. McInnis is a Generation X man himself who lays out the facts in a brilliant, no-nonsense way for just about anyone to understand.

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How Identifying Your Triggers Can Help You Overcome Your Porn Addiction

Journal

Recently I wrote a guest post for Your Brain on Porn about 5 habits to avoid so you don’t relapse. As I was writing, I realized one of the biggest problems with overcoming a PMO addiction (or any addiction for that matter) is that people have difficulty recognizing their triggers.

Triggers are to addiction what the big red button is to the end of the world. But we give it so little attention really, often focusing on the more superficial aspects of overcoming dependence. The truth is, you can be as fit as a fiddle, but if you’re confronted with a trigger, your physical health really only plays a small role in resisting the temptation.

What’s possibly the hardest aspect of recognizing your triggers is that you have to look inward and be honest with yourself (admittedly not always the two easiest things to do). In doing so, you not only give yourself the opportunity to grow, you also learn about how your mind works, why you hold on to your porn addiction, and exactly how you can rewire your brain, the easy way.

Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. This means you’re going to have to do a little homework, so grab your pen and paper, get ready to take notes, and let’s get started right away.  (Remember: Reading this article without ‘doing the work’ won’t get you anywhere – you HAVE to do the work)Continue Reading

How To Get Over Performance Anxiety: A Hypnotherapist Shares His Best 3 Tips

Hypnosis

This week I’ve got another great guest post, this time from Mark Tyrrell, a hypnotherapist since 1995 and co-founder of hypnosisdownloads.com.

In this article Mark talks about three things you can do right now to help get rid of performance anxiety.

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Sex can feel like a threat. Even the prospect that it might happen can get some men feeling on edge. Like they might have to “perform!” And what if they can’t!

Worrying about performance, wanting to “perform” can block the very performance we want.

Seeing sex as a test as something to pass or fail, like a deadline or chore saps the energy, fun and intimacy from it.

When sex stops feeling like a performance, like meeting some standard or passing some test  it becomes again what it should be, a most wonderful, exciting, body and mind focussing part of life and maybe the time when you and the one you’re with can feel most alive.

After two decades treating, amongst many other things, sexual performance anxiety in both men and women here are my top three tips:

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How The Simple Habit Of Exercise Can Help You Overcome Porn Addiction

Man Exercising Push-Up

The following is a guest post by my friend Mark B. — Brian.

I have been there; I write from the heart and write from my own experience. I once had an addiction to porn. It wasn’t what I thought was massive, but no matter how small you see how big it actually is. So don’t kid yourself.

One of the ways that I found I could escape the temptation of porn — over and above putting all the security blocks and fancy software in place — was to have a healthy, fresh and clear mind and of course be alert to my surroundings. To achieve this two things are needed: a healthy diet and some exercise. Both of these now form part of my daily routine.

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