How to ACTUALLY Quit Porn:  5 Success Strategies To Give Up Porn and Change Your Life

how to ACTUALLY quit porn

So you’ve been trying to give up porn, and you’re realizing… Actually, this is pretty tough.  I’m with you. I went through the struggle.

So let me start by asking you a question:  

How long have you been trying to give up porn?

Take some time to think about your answer, and be honest with yourself.  Has it been more than a few months? A year?

Now I’m going to be honest with you:

If you’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to quit porn for over 6 months, you’re doing it wrong.

I know that’s tough to hear, but you need to hear it. You’re going to have to make some big changes in your life to get this taken care of.

 

How do you successfully give up porn for good?

So what sets people who are successful from those who aren’t?  What is it that you should be doing that you’re not?

Well, based on my own experience, and the experience of thousands of guys I’ve talked to on email, here are the 5 most important factors or quitting porn:

1. Replace the habit.

Because ‘quitting’ something difficult like porn or smoking isn’t actually about erasing the habit, but about replacing it. Once you understand this, and learn about the habit loop, you hold one of the main keys to your unwanted habit.  If the urge you’re satisfying is physical, your replacement habit should be physical. A good example (and one that many people have used successfully) is using push ups or a short exercise routine. In this case, every time you feel the urge to look at porn, stop that automatic impulse and exchange it for push ups. Read more about replacement habits, and decide what yours will be.

habit loop

2. Have a support group or accountability partner.  

This can an online or in-person group, or just one person that knows you and keeps you accountable.  My views on accountability are a bit extreme, in that I advocate it be 100% offline (we already have enough trouble online, don’t we?).  So find a friend that you can really trust, and keep each other accountable on your goals.  Another option is to find an accountability partner online, but to use email or SMS (not forums) to stay in touch. 

3. Become self-aware.

Learning to be aware of your triggers, your unhealthy patterns of thinking, and digging deeper to the underlying reasons of your addiction… these things are game-changer.  How can you become more self-aware? Start by writing a journal. Daily journalling is an inexpensive,  powerful way to self-awareness. Here’s further reading about how understanding your triggers can help you break through your addiction. 

4. Build Keystone Habits.

Keystone habits are habits that help you build other positive habits in your life. For example, exercise is a keystone habit.  This means that exercising daily can have a huge positive impact — not just on your waistline. People who exercise are much more likely to adopt (and stick to) other positive habits.  Other keystone habits include: making your bed every morning; having a morning or before-bed routine; meditating; and even having regular family dinners.

5. Make it easy on yourself.

Do you sleep in the same room as your laptop or smart phone?  Do you keep a stash of porn somewhere in your room or on a hidden hard drive?  Do you refuse to use porn blocking software  because you feel it’s embarrassing or inconvenient?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re sabotaging your success. What successful people do is make it easy on themselves by removing temptation (ie. buying an alarm clock so they don’t have to sleep next to their phone).

So if you’re really serious about beating this thing, it’s time to make some changes in your life. (Need extra motivation? Sign up for my newsletter in the sidebar, and get regular motivational emails directly in your inbox)

Bonus Secret Jedi Mind Trick: the Bet Switch Mechanism

Here’s a little-known, but super powerful way to associate pain with your addiction.   It’s a trick that ultimately helped me overcome my porn habit.  

A few years ago, after trying a few times to quit porn and relapsing, my accountability partner and I decided we needed to raise the stakes.  We agreed that every time we relapsed, we would have to pay $500 to a charity that we really disliked.  So instead of rationalizing ‘I’ll just watch porn this one last time’, it was ‘it’s going to cost me $500 to watch porn!’  Needless to say, it worked, and six months later we celebrated our achievement.  

You can read more about the bet-switch mechanism here. 

##

Did I miss anything?  Have you tried any of these techniques?  Let us know in the comments 🙂

7 Tactics to Stop Relapsing and Start Living Your Dream Life

stop relapsing

This is a guest post by Apostol, creator of SlaveToHero, a website dedicated to helping men heal from porn addiction.

Relapsing. That’s one of the major problems that everyone faces while trying to stop porn. Pardon me. It’s not A major – it’s THE Problem that’s stopping everybody from quitting porn. After all – if you stopped relapsing you’ve effectively stopped using porn altogether.

On the other hand – we’re all intuitively accepting relapsing as a problem and a negative thing. “I really tried to stop porn but I relapsed – therefore I’m a failure!” But if you think a little bit deeper into the understanding of what relapsing is – we’ll find out that relapsing actually became a “thing” only when we decided to stop using porn. Before that we had no concept of “relapsing” at all.

But why do we accept it as a negative? Why do we start feeling bad about ourselves when we relapse? Why do we start feeling that guilt, shame and helplessness?

Because we don’t understand it and we have unreasonable expectations about ourselves and the whole process of recovery. You see – relapsing can not be a problem if you think about it as a part of the solution. The fact is – if you really have porn addiction and you’ve had it for a long while(if you’re like me – for years) – you won’t be able to stop it all at once. Chances are that the brain circuits that make you unconsciously want to watch porn have developed for a long while and have become so strong that you won’t be able to weaken them all at once. So maybe – just maybe – relapsing is not the problem that you think it is – but it’s more a part of the solution – it’s part of the healing process. So my tactic no.1…Continue Reading

More PIED and PMO Reboot Success Stories

Man-walks-the-road

“My 365 days of porn freedom” by PL

September 15, 2015 will be a year since I masturbated to porn (PMO). The journey was not easy and painful at some points; however the rewards gained through abstaining from porn are life changing.

History

I have been watching porn since I was age 12, I am currently age 32. My father gave me my first porn magazine at 13; however I did not start masturbating until age 14. Seriously age 14 is when I started PMO. I grow up with my grandmother being really religious and saying sex is a sin. The thing is I would watch porn at age 12-14 on the Playboy and Spice channel; my family had the box with all the channels.

Continue Reading

Reboot Success Story: “You Are A Human Being, Not An ‘Addict'”

“Commitment, Consistency and Method.”  In this reboot success story, Giuliano shares his thoughts on quitting porn. It’s a long, raw and challenging read, but I promise you if you stick with it there are plenty of ‘lightbulb moments’ that will change the way you think.

This story won 1st place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest

##

This is going to long. I warned you. And it’s also going to be uncomfortable, even painful and scary. Hope is scary. And one of the main reasons people struggle with addiction is because they are scared of what’s inside themselves.

Continue Reading

Reboot Success Story: Learning To Use The Self Properly

In this reboot success story, Dominic shares how the “three-headed Hydra of sugar, video-games and porn” slowly destroyed his life — and his subsequent journey to reclaim it.

This story won 2nd place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest hosted by Reboot Blueprint.

##

Game Addict

I have used porn since the very inception of my sexual awakening in adolescence. My birth-date is 1989, so the internet was really coming of age at around the time I started to get those first chronic erections that just won’t go away. What’s a shy and embarrassed 13-year-old attending a Victorian-era all-boys school to do in that situation? Shut myself away at the computer at every opportunity.
Continue Reading

Reboot Success Story: 51 Years Old When I Discovered NoFap

In this inspiring reboot success story, Fercho shares how he woke up to how serious his porn addiction was, and the strategies that helped him overcome it.  This story won 3rd place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest hosted by Reboot Blueprint.

###

fercho

I am 51 years old. I started having fantasies with boys from school when I was 11, I understand now that this was because I was bullied at school and was not “popular”: I was shorter, fatter, used glasses, and did not know how to play soccer (very important to be popular if you are a boy in Argentina). I started fapping fantasizing with these boys.

I changed completely when I was a teenager: I grew up, got a girlfriend and became very popular in my social environment. Nevertheless, I “kept” my secret gay fantasies inside my brain.

Continue Reading

How Do I Know When I’m Back To Normal? (Rebooting from Porn-Induced ED)

addiction computer

When you start your reboot, the two biggest questions you likely have are: “how long will my reboot take?” and “how will I know when I’m fixed?” The fact is that there is no rock-solid answer to this – at least not yet. That’s because each person’s experience is unique. Each person’s reboot starts off with a different set of goals and timeframes. For many who are suffering porn-induced ED, the “back to normal” goal will be when they can successfully have an erection WITHOUT the aid of porn and enjoy sex with a partner. For others, it may go even deeper.Continue Reading

How To Quit Porn? Here Are 5 Videos To Get You Started

There’s plenty of great information out there to help you quit porn or overcome porn-induced ED, but it can get lost in the signal-to-noise ration of the web. So here’s a list of 5 videos with great info to help you.

**Important Note: I recommend watching these videos on this page, as the suggested videos in the sidebar on YouTube can trigger a relapse.

1.  #NoWanks: Quitting Porn and masturbation has changed my life

This blunt and humorous video by Gavin McInnis on the Rebel Media YouTube channel highlights the many reasons why too much porn and masturbation can be harmful. It’s a must watch and shares some interesting perspective. McInnis is a Generation X man himself who lays out the facts in a brilliant, no-nonsense way for just about anyone to understand.

Continue Reading

Reboot Success Story Contest

success

**UPDATE:  This contest is now closed.  The winning entries can be found here:

Third Place

Second Place

First Place

Runners Up

If you have a success story you’d like to share, I’d still love to hear from you: brian (at) rebootblueprint (dot) com

##

Do you have an inspiring reboot success story to tell and a talent for putting it into words?

To celebrate 2 years since starting the website Reboot Blueprint, I’m giving away $175 in Amazon Gift Cards to the best reboot success stories.

Entry Deadline:  September 15th, 2015
September 30th, 2015
  • First prize: $100 Amazon gift card
  • Second prize: $50 Amazon gift card
  • Third prize:  $25 Amazon gift card
Continue Reading

What is NoFap? A Brief History, Explanation and Benefits

nofap

Porn can really ‘bust your balls’, excuse the harsh words.

Something that was once considered a normal, private activity is now being noted by scientists, with studies being devoted to learning more about what a porn habit or addiction really means for your body, mind, and intimate relationships.

There are plenty of people still divided on the subject and even more who have no idea what the NoFap challenge is all about. But before we get started with the definition of NoFap, it’s important to first understand just how porn can be harmful.

Your Brain On Porn: Dopamine and Addiction

As with other addictive substances (did he say addictive??), porn releases a chemical inside the brain called dopamine. You’ve all heard of it by now. It’s the fun chemical, the one that makes everything exciting, that gives you that rush, or that kick out of what you’re experiencing. It also happens to be a chemical that can be induced unnaturally by the use of external stimulation, such as drugs, porn, and gambling. So yes, as with other habits, the way a porn dependence forms is still largely based on a person’s individual character. However, men are hard-wired to be visually stimulated, which means that we’re already pre-disposed to becoming hooked on something as visual as internet porn (or any kind, for that matter).

The problem, though, is that over time your brain builds up a tolerance and less and less dopamine is released through the original stimulant. What this means is that before, where a little erotica was more than enough to get you going, you now have to turn to the super x-rated hardcore stuff. Essentially, you’re handing over the control of your own body and its desires to the people of the porn industry (insert evil laugh from somewhere on the internet here).

“Ok, what’s so wrong with that?” I hear you ask.

Well, it’s this need that stands in the way of good, healthy, strong and intimate romantic relationships. But it’s more than that, it’s that the loss of control ultimately results in a myriad of problems which can, and have for many, led to porn-induced ED or performance anxiety down the line.

What Is NoFap?

In short, the word “Fap” is onomatopoeia. That is, it’s the written sound of masturbating. NoFap, however, refers to a website which hosts NoFap challenges for the sake of dumping the porn addiction for a better, healthier and all-around happier sex life. Really what NoFap aims at doing is to assist you, through their programs, to keep the spark of great sex alive with any romantic encounter you have.

Continue Reading