7 Tactics to Stop Relapsing and Start Living Your Dream Life

stop relapsing

This is a guest post by Apostol, creator of SlaveToHero, a website dedicated to helping men heal from porn addiction.

Relapsing. That’s one of the major problems that everyone faces while trying to stop porn. Pardon me. It’s not A major – it’s THE Problem that’s stopping everybody from quitting porn. After all – if you stopped relapsing you’ve effectively stopped using porn altogether.

On the other hand – we’re all intuitively accepting relapsing as a problem and a negative thing. “I really tried to stop porn but I relapsed – therefore I’m a failure!” But if you think a little bit deeper into the understanding of what relapsing is – we’ll find out that relapsing actually became a “thing” only when we decided to stop using porn. Before that we had no concept of “relapsing” at all.

But why do we accept it as a negative? Why do we start feeling bad about ourselves when we relapse? Why do we start feeling that guilt, shame and helplessness?

Because we don’t understand it and we have unreasonable expectations about ourselves and the whole process of recovery. You see – relapsing can not be a problem if you think about it as a part of the solution. The fact is – if you really have porn addiction and you’ve had it for a long while(if you’re like me – for years) – you won’t be able to stop it all at once. Chances are that the brain circuits that make you unconsciously want to watch porn have developed for a long while and have become so strong that you won’t be able to weaken them all at once. So maybe – just maybe – relapsing is not the problem that you think it is – but it’s more a part of the solution – it’s part of the healing process. So my tactic no.1…Continue Reading

Covenant Eyes Review: The Best Internet Porn Filtering Software or Waste of Money?

Covenant Eyes Review

First Things First: Do I Even Need A Porn Website Blocker?

Over the past few years running this site, I’ve received thousands of emails and blog comments from guys who are still struggling with porn addiction, as well as hundreds who have managed to overcome it and completely turn around their life.

What’s the difference between the successful group and the struggling group?

The difference is in their mindset, strategy and planning.

And part of that planning for success includes choosing the right web filtering software. Web filtering, while not a CURE, is an essential TOOL in your quitting toolbox.

Having a good porn filter in place can mean the difference between a tough day at work turning into either a spontaneous healthy workout (see replacement habits LINK) or a marathon porn relapse.

Here I’ll review the pros and cons of one of the most popular internet porn filter/accountability software out there: Covenant Eyes.

(Note: This article only focuses on their personal computer software, not their apps for Android smartphones, iPhones, and iPads)Continue Reading

Porn-Induced ED is Gone and I Feel Like a New Person: An Interview With Noah BE Church

Noah BE Church speaking at a Mystery Box event

Why did you decide to quit porn? Was there something that triggered it?

I used porn from age 9. Unlike some other boys, nobody exposed me to it, nor was it an accident—I was a horny little kid and sought it out. My use really took off when I was 12 or 13 and got a computer with Internet access in my own room. I escalated quickly to some fairly heinous and socially unacceptable content by age 14. I talked to no one about this. For most of my teenage years, instead of taking risks and putting myself out there to form real connections with real women, I turned to the easy fix of porn and dreamed of the day when I would have real sex. When I was 18 that day came, the culmination of years of hope and expectation. And my dick simply did not work. I felt little to no physical arousal, despite finding my girlfriend at the time very attractive. No matter how many times we tried over the next few months, I was completely incapable of real sex, and I had no idea why.Continue Reading

More PIED and PMO Reboot Success Stories

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“My 365 days of porn freedom” by PL

September 15, 2015 will be a year since I masturbated to porn (PMO). The journey was not easy and painful at some points; however the rewards gained through abstaining from porn are life changing.

History

I have been watching porn since I was age 12, I am currently age 32. My father gave me my first porn magazine at 13; however I did not start masturbating until age 14. Seriously age 14 is when I started PMO. I grow up with my grandmother being really religious and saying sex is a sin. The thing is I would watch porn at age 12-14 on the Playboy and Spice channel; my family had the box with all the channels.

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Reboot Success Story: “You Are A Human Being, Not An ‘Addict'”

“Commitment, Consistency and Method.”  In this reboot success story, Giuliano shares his thoughts on quitting porn. It’s a long, raw and challenging read, but I promise you if you stick with it there are plenty of ‘lightbulb moments’ that will change the way you think.

This story won 1st place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest

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This is going to long. I warned you. And it’s also going to be uncomfortable, even painful and scary. Hope is scary. And one of the main reasons people struggle with addiction is because they are scared of what’s inside themselves.

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Reboot Success Story: Learning To Use The Self Properly

In this reboot success story, Dominic shares how the “three-headed Hydra of sugar, video-games and porn” slowly destroyed his life — and his subsequent journey to reclaim it.

This story won 2nd place in the 2015 Reboot Success Story Contest hosted by Reboot Blueprint.

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Game Addict

I have used porn since the very inception of my sexual awakening in adolescence. My birth-date is 1989, so the internet was really coming of age at around the time I started to get those first chronic erections that just won’t go away. What’s a shy and embarrassed 13-year-old attending a Victorian-era all-boys school to do in that situation? Shut myself away at the computer at every opportunity.
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How To Quit Porn? Here Are 5 Videos To Get You Started

There’s plenty of great information out there to help you quit porn or overcome porn-induced ED, but it can get lost in the signal-to-noise ration of the web. So here’s a list of 5 videos with great info to help you.

**Important Note: I recommend watching these videos on this page, as the suggested videos in the sidebar on YouTube can trigger a relapse.

1.  #NoWanks: Quitting Porn and masturbation has changed my life

This blunt and humorous video by Gavin McInnis on the Rebel Media YouTube channel highlights the many reasons why too much porn and masturbation can be harmful. It’s a must watch and shares some interesting perspective. McInnis is a Generation X man himself who lays out the facts in a brilliant, no-nonsense way for just about anyone to understand.

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How Identifying Your Triggers Can Help You Overcome Your Porn Addiction

Journal

Recently I wrote a guest post for Your Brain on Porn about 5 habits to avoid so you don’t relapse. As I was writing, I realized one of the biggest problems with overcoming a PMO addiction (or any addiction for that matter) is that people have difficulty recognizing their triggers.

Triggers are to addiction what the big red button is to the end of the world. But we give it so little attention really, often focusing on the more superficial aspects of overcoming dependence. The truth is, you can be as fit as a fiddle, but if you’re confronted with a trigger, your physical health really only plays a small role in resisting the temptation.

What’s possibly the hardest aspect of recognizing your triggers is that you have to look inward and be honest with yourself (admittedly not always the two easiest things to do). In doing so, you not only give yourself the opportunity to grow, you also learn about how your mind works, why you hold on to your porn addiction, and exactly how you can rewire your brain, the easy way.

Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. This means you’re going to have to do a little homework, so grab your pen and paper, get ready to take notes, and let’s get started right away.  (Remember: Reading this article without ‘doing the work’ won’t get you anywhere – you HAVE to do the work)Continue Reading

50 Reasons To Quit Porn For Good

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I once read an article on why porn is great for your relationship…  While that’s a nice fantasy, the reality is quite the opposite!

And if you’re reading this article, you have likely discovered that not only is porn possibly harming your relationship, it’s terrible for your self-esteem too.

I’ve got 50 good reasons for you to take a stand against your porn habit and to become a better, happier and more fulfilled man, in every way.

So without further ado, here are…

50 Reasons To Quit Porn:

1.  Prevent erectile dysfunction

ED is a serious debilitating condition in men. Frequent masturbation and hard porn habits have been found to induce a physiological state that affects the brain in such a way that it hinders intimate sexual performance that even Viagra can’t remedy. This becomes a psychological conditioning which takes its toll and can create performance anxiety problems down the line. The best solution is to quit porn and let your brain return to normality – we call this “rewiring”.

ED
2Restore your sexual energy

If you’re busy doing the do often in the day, you’re not going to have energy for much else, including sexual intimacy with a partner.

You may have already experienced a lack of drive, and possibly the effects it has on you and your partner. Reclaiming that energy can be exhilarating.

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