Can Viagra and Cialis Help with Performance Anxiety? A Case Study, Advice and Alternatives

Viagra performance anxiety

“I have performance anxiety. Should I take Viagra or Cialis to help my erections?

I get this question a lot in blog comments and emails.  My own opinions on this are mixed. People always want a magic bullet or an easy fix — which is why Viagra and Cialis are such huge cash cows.  But often the guys emailing me have porn problems (porn-induced ED, addiction, etc.), so giving up porn (“rebooting”) is a necessary and important part of the solution.

Oftentimes when a guy experiences an ED episode with a woman – even if it’s the first time in his life — he loses confidence and gets caught in a cycle of anxiety and poor performance.  I recognize that there are some circumstances where taking Viagra or Cialis can help you overcome this performance anxiety.

This is a controversial topic in the reboot community.  Some men recovering from porn induced ED report that it is helpful to use small doses of Viagra or Cialis to reduce anxiety when starting to be sexual again with a real partner.  Other guys say it’s a cop-out and doesn’t address the real issues behind the problem, such as porn-use and learning how to deal with stress and anxiety.   We’ll look at both of these POVs (see what I did there?) below, with a real case study.

Jay’s Case Study

The following is a guest post from a guy we’ll call Jay (not his real name), who emailed me about his experience taking Cialis and Viagra to help with his performance anxiety.  He covers a lot of important topics that are helpful to know if you decide to go this route.

Enter Jay.

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My Story

I was 21 and single. I had read The Game and was spending a lot of time with my buddies at the bar practicing ridiculous conversation “openers”. And to my surprise sometimes they worked.  Looking back, I think it was the confidence that I had in the memorized stories that made me attractive.  (I should say that nowadays I don’t believe in memorizing lines or lying to create interest from women, but I am grateful to the ‘pickup’ community for the introduction it gave me to self-development.)

I had a handful of one-night stands that year, usually with women who were a little older and had their own apartments (I was living at home while going to Uni). I was often a bit drunk those nights, and it was a pretty great time in my life. There were even a few girls who wanted to see me again.

Anyway, one night I went home with an older woman who pretty much said “let’s go to my place” before I was even finished my first drink.  She seemed to me really experienced and like it was just ‘business’ to her. Basically, she wanted to have sex, and I happened to be the guy that night.  She was really attractive, but I think the way that she acted really intimidated me. Neither of us were drunk and by the time we were in her bedroom taking off our clothes I was super nervous.

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Guest Post: Porn Induced Partner Trauma

Partner Trauma

This week I have another interesting guest post to introduce.

While there is a large amount of research and treatment available for men addicted to pornography, there is definitely a lack of information for the partner of a porn addict.

Mari A. Lee, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction therapist who founded Growth Counseling Services, a private practice recovery center in California, specializes in sexual addiction and partners work. Mari has been working for many years in supporting both the addict and his/her partner in recovery, healing and understanding.

In this guest article, Mari sheds some light on what our partners experience when we lie, deceive and cover up about our porn addiction.

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