Porn-Induced ED is Gone and I Feel Like a New Person: An Interview With Noah BE Church

Noah BE Church speaking at a Mystery Box event

Why did you decide to quit porn? Was there something that triggered it?

I used porn from age 9. Unlike some other boys, nobody exposed me to it, nor was it an accident—I was a horny little kid and sought it out. My use really took off when I was 12 or 13 and got a computer with Internet access in my own room. I escalated quickly to some fairly heinous and socially unacceptable content by age 14. I talked to no one about this. For most of my teenage years, instead of taking risks and putting myself out there to form real connections with real women, I turned to the easy fix of porn and dreamed of the day when I would have real sex. When I was 18 that day came, the culmination of years of hope and expectation. And my dick simply did not work. I felt little to no physical arousal, despite finding my girlfriend at the time very attractive. No matter how many times we tried over the next few months, I was completely incapable of real sex, and I had no idea why.Continue Reading

How Do I Know When I’m Back To Normal? (Rebooting from Porn-Induced ED)

addiction computer

When you start your reboot, the two biggest questions you likely have are: “how long will my reboot take?” and “how will I know when I’m fixed?” The fact is that there is no rock-solid answer to this – at least not yet. That’s because each person’s experience is unique. Each person’s reboot starts off with a different set of goals and timeframes. For many who are suffering porn-induced ED, the “back to normal” goal will be when they can successfully have an erection WITHOUT the aid of porn and enjoy sex with a partner. For others, it may go even deeper.Continue Reading

Lessons from Rock Bottom: Case Studies and Inspiration to Rise Above Porn Addiction

inspired-man

This is a post by friend and blogger Max Cato from PornEnlightenment.com

 

So Why Are People Quitting Porn?

The popularity of quitting porn has exploded all over the Internet. As of this posting, Reddit/r/NoFap has over 146K+ members, Reddit/r/pornfree has over 20K readers, I have over 400 followers on Google+, and the number of blogs and websites on the topic continues to grow and grow.

However there’s still much resistance regarding this idea as a large porn audience is wondering why anyone in their right mind would stop watching, but when you look a little closer the answers start to become increasingly obvious as to why people are choosing to speak out and express not only the truly negative impact that habitual porn watching has had on their lives but, even better, the overwhelmingly positive results they have experienced after quitting.

Perhaps porn isn’t negatively affecting everyone especially when viewing the audience that enjoys it, as they can be very outspoken about saying so. However, people are popping up all over the Internet feeling depressed, desperate, and afraid they’ll never be able to have real sex again (think porn-induced ED), or afraid they’ll lose important friends or family, especially love interests, because of their problem.

Does that mean something is wrong with you if you’re struggling while others are not? Of course not. This is just like alcohol use, as there are casual drinkers, drunks in denial, or addicts that will never touch another drop, and everything in between. Everyone is not the same and that is perfectly OK and should be expected.

Furthermore, even the proponents of porn are subject to its effects, whether they perceive it as problematic or not. Porn promotes a voyeuristic mindset, increased objectification of women, emotional detachment, and aggressive sexual tendencies. (For more on this check out this post)

What we really need to focus on is the people in the trenches because they are the ones really struggling. The effects of repeatedly failing every time they try to quit porn often does psychological damage and leaves people feeling broken and alone.

Before we get in to that discussion, let’s clarify one point.

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Can Viagra and Cialis Help with Performance Anxiety? A Case Study, Advice and Alternatives

Viagra performance anxiety

“I have performance anxiety. Should I take Viagra or Cialis to help my erections?

I get this question a lot in blog comments and emails.  My own opinions on this are mixed. People always want a magic bullet or an easy fix — which is why Viagra and Cialis are such huge cash cows.  But often the guys emailing me have porn problems (porn-induced ED, addiction, etc.), so giving up porn (“rebooting”) is a necessary and important part of the solution.

Oftentimes when a guy experiences an ED episode with a woman – even if it’s the first time in his life — he loses confidence and gets caught in a cycle of anxiety and poor performance.  I recognize that there are some circumstances where taking Viagra or Cialis can help you overcome this performance anxiety.

This is a controversial topic in the reboot community.  Some men recovering from porn induced ED report that it is helpful to use small doses of Viagra or Cialis to reduce anxiety when starting to be sexual again with a real partner.  Other guys say it’s a cop-out and doesn’t address the real issues behind the problem, such as porn-use and learning how to deal with stress and anxiety.   We’ll look at both of these POVs (see what I did there?) below, with a real case study.

Jay’s Case Study

The following is a guest post from a guy we’ll call Jay (not his real name), who emailed me about his experience taking Cialis and Viagra to help with his performance anxiety.  He covers a lot of important topics that are helpful to know if you decide to go this route.

Enter Jay.

##

My Story

I was 21 and single. I had read The Game and was spending a lot of time with my buddies at the bar practicing ridiculous conversation “openers”. And to my surprise sometimes they worked.  Looking back, I think it was the confidence that I had in the memorized stories that made me attractive.  (I should say that nowadays I don’t believe in memorizing lines or lying to create interest from women, but I am grateful to the ‘pickup’ community for the introduction it gave me to self-development.)

I had a handful of one-night stands that year, usually with women who were a little older and had their own apartments (I was living at home while going to Uni). I was often a bit drunk those nights, and it was a pretty great time in my life. There were even a few girls who wanted to see me again.

Anyway, one night I went home with an older woman who pretty much said “let’s go to my place” before I was even finished my first drink.  She seemed to me really experienced and like it was just ‘business’ to her. Basically, she wanted to have sex, and I happened to be the guy that night.  She was really attractive, but I think the way that she acted really intimidated me. Neither of us were drunk and by the time we were in her bedroom taking off our clothes I was super nervous.

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“How long will my reboot take?”

goal

“I have Porn induced ED. How long will my reboot take?”

This is maybe the most common question I get in emails and blog comments. And I understand why:  you want to know what to expect.

While some guys with mild cases of porn-induced ED can reboot within 3-6 weeks of no PMO (no porn, masturbation, or orgasm), for others it can take up to 4 months. And in some extreme cases, it may take up to a year or more to fully recover.

 

So how long will your reboot take?

While it’s a complex question and impossible to give exact timelines, what we can do is look at factors that influence the length of time a reboot will take.

I will do my best at a thorough answer, based on:

1. My own personal experience.

2. Reading many, many (too many to count) reboot accounts on various internet forums, in emails I’ve received, and in online surveys I’ve conducted.

 

From these sources, I was able to boil it down to 8 important factors.  How long your reboot will take depends on:

 

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5 Reasons Why I Succeeded In Recovering From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

I'm free

I’m free! I haven’t used porn since April, 2011. That’s two years now that I’ve been completely free from a crippling ED-causing porn addiction.

I think there are two main reasons I have been successful:

1. I eliminated habit triggers as much as possible.

2. From the start, I had a game plan for contingencies.

Here are 5 concrete tips for how I accomplished this:

1. I replaced the porn habit.

Many guys try to quit porn cold-turkey and find it near impossible.  What many success stories have in common is that they replaced the habit with something else. This means when I got a craving to use porn, I would immediately start my contingency habit – in my case, a seven minute custom workout routine – I call it The Fapstronaut workout (catchy, no?).  At it’s most basic, it was simply 20 push ups followed by 30 sit ups. As the cravings became more and more sporadic (and I became fitter!), it turned into a longer/more fun workout (I’ll share it in an upcoming post).

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Porn and ED: My Story of Overcoming Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

sad-man

I was addicted to porn from age 14 to age 27. That’s 13 years and a LOT of porn watching. What started innocent enough at age 12 when I found my dad’s Playboy collection, turned into an obsessive addiction to Internet videos and DVDs that literally took over my life. Because of my excessive porn habit, at various points in my life, I had terrible problems with Porn-Induced ED and sexual anxiety. At 18 I experienced mild porn-induced erectile dysfunction, and in my mid-twenties it became so bad I was frequently depressed.

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