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Maybe other people can learn from it too.

Post a question in the comments below and I’ll give you my best answer.

**Sorry, but due to the large volume of mail, I’m no longer answer rebooting questions via email.**

News:

I’ve also created a step-by-step program to overcome porn-induced  ED. Click here to learn more.

Comments

  1. Hi brian,

    First of all tank you for having this community, i recently joined this.. i am Raje 25 years old and now i am facing ED. Till an year and half back i am having good erections, i do started watching porn from my 15. But when i go for real for the first time with my girl friend 6 months back i am not able to get erection and our relation ship also broken because of this reason. I am so much worried and feeling apprehensive now. i have read some articles and got to know about porn induced ED. i stopped watching pron from around past one and half month, doing 15 to 20 minutes of jogging , trying to do meditation, still i am not able to get rid of this problem and not having erections even in the morning also. i am unable to take out of the anxiety that will i be able to make it or not ,make it or not ……from my mind. Through out the day that thought is killing me , trying many things to leave a normal life like before all my efforts are going waste because of this anxiety . It is effecting my self esteem, effecting my productivity at work . My parents are forcing me to get married, but i cannot tell them this problem…… i am so stressed and feeling depressed even some time i am getting suicidal thoughts :( … please please kindly help me ho to get out of this problem and apprehensiveness from my mind………..

    Thanks,
    Venkat

    • Hi Raj,

      Thanks for the kind words and for your comment.

      To answer your question: It sounds to me like you are carrying a lot of anxiety about sex. You should try this test to see whether your problem is only performance anxiety, or if it is maybe both anxiety and porn-induced ED. Let me know what your results are and we can work from there. Here is the link: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-induced-ed-start-here (look at the section called: Wondering if your problem is porn-related?)

      Don’t give up hope man. Also, I don’t normally recommend this, but if you’re in a situation where you really need to perform –getting married very soon — maybe you can see a doctor and get a few viagra or cialis pills. That’ll give you some confidence back until you fully reboot and rewire your brain to real women.

      Cheers

      • Thank you so much for the reply brian, i will go through the link and let you know.

      • I am 24 years old, I’ve never had a girlfriend, only a few physical interactions with women. A few days ago I guess I lost my virginity but I couldn’t get an erection despite her adamant attempts. I guess after 14 years of chronic masturbation to the hardest of hardcore porn (generally once or twice a day and sme times as many as 4 times a day, I have never masturbated without porn and I get really anxious without internet (I am stealing my neighbors right now) and now I know why. I couldn’t get it up, this startled me I never would have thought my first time I wouldn’t be able to perform. I never knew about porn related impotence, I was very depressed, and at this point I haven’t stopped thinking about in days, no sleep. I have now deleted MOST of my porn and all of my bookmarks, I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I feel very anxious now, I have a very addictive personality, but I’m stubborn as a mule, I won’t be beaten by this. I just wanted to put this out there for someone to read. This is my day one even if I have already used today almost twice, the second time I actually stopped and THAT has never happened by my own free will before, wish me luck.

      • Just I want to ask about wet dreams , it has any role in delaying reboot ?
        Now I’m 30 days PMO free , but I had 3 wet dreams .
        Has it any role for delaying reboot ?

      • Hi Brian, I’ve been reading your article and this is really getting to me. I’m 18 years old and this has been happening to me for almost a year now. Well, my problem is, when I kiss a girl, I get hard in my pants but when my penis comes out, it completely goes soft, this has happened to every girl I’ve tried to have sex with and its just scaring me now, it’s also embarrassing and I need help on how to get over it, I watch porn but masturbate over pictures more, is porn just my problem?? How long will it take for me to get over this problem as to have a happy sex life etc, such as, how long do I need to not masturbate for

      • Hi, Ive been having a problem for the last year or so. I try to have one night stands with girls or maybe just a blowjob. I find it hard to get an erection when with a girl, but I can get one while kissing a girl, but when my penis comes out I go soft. I know it’s my confidence. However I can masturbate on my own fine. I just need advice personally from yourself if you could get back to me as soon as you can. What is wrong with me and how can I stop this? Is it just porn I need to stop? I masturbate a lot. I also bought a cd on this website off u, hope it will help

    • Russell Heidenreich says:

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      • Russell Heidenreich says:

        I May have Missed Correctly Typing First Half BUT Ill Order Your Info for $37 or $39 in Mid January Because Government has My Money Invested, Still about Million, But They Pay Bills & I Get $200 a Week Fot Food & Household Needs Because 1997 When Carer for Intellectually Handicapped Men I was Driving the Empty 17 Seater Bus & Truck over dounle Lines Collided. I Got them Brain Damage 7 1 Prtosthetic Leg- Now Walk Unaided & Doctors are Amazed Im one of 5,000 in Australia To Fully Recover After Brain Damage – I Had 80% NOW Only 1% Short Term Memery Only a Bit

  2. Hey guys please help me out i have beeen watching porn from the last 13 years and m also addicted to it but the severe problem is that now i dont get an erection while watching porn however when my gf touches me i get good erection and intercourse is also fine but i dont get an erection while watching porn .Any ideas what is the problem ??

    • Hi Kabeer,

      Thanks for the comment.

      As most guys I’ve come across have the opposite problem (they can get an erection with porn, but not with real women), I’m not quite sure about your situation.

      Maybe your brain only gets excited when there’s a REAL, live woman who you care about — and not some pixelated photos. There’s a lot worse problems out there to have!

      Cheers

      • I’m 21 and I used to watch porn a lot and Mastrubate thrice a week..once I got anxiety problem and I can’t have an erection without physical stimulation..I got this problem solved in one day..and again I’m having the same problem but its already a week and it’s not yet solved..however after getting hard on physical stimulation I’m good to go..and I do get my morning erection and they are good..is there a problem and I’m worried…what can I do now? ?

  3. hey brian , how long did it take you to reboot

    • Hi Todd,

      After about 4 months no PMO, I started having sex again (with the help of tiny doses of cialis — which I then gradually cut out completely). And about 4.5 months in, I started masturbating using only touch — to help rewire my brain to physical stimulation.

      I should note that this was after 3 reboot attempts that ended in big relapses. What finally helped me was getting a replacement habit and sticking to it EVERY time I had a craving: http://rebootblueprint.com/7-healthy-no-fap-replacement-habits/

  4. Brian,

    I am now in the period of rebooting, it is been three weeks since i have started. As i am not getting erection’s i am feeling terribly apprehensive about my performance. My thoughts are much dominated by performance anxiety rather than the positive hope. How to overcome the thoughts of performance anxiety during this period???

  5. i hope not. older guys recover faster. dec is my goal to get a gf, so im hoping by early nov. for reboot maybe even oct will see, ill will be jumping for joy once morning wood returns on a reg. basis.

  6. Alexander says:

    Hello Brian! I’m from Russia, maybe sorry for my english. I’m in the end of my 90 days reboot. All this time I masturbated about 2 times, because I needed doctors tests (I’m healthy). Now I try to have sex 2 times an all were success, I had orgasm and errection (I needed same stimulate by girl, and errection is not 100% all time, but 3 months before I can’t cum and errection was about 40-50% max), but my libido is so low:( And my question: can I have sex now, or I need no PMO same time else?, and when I get back my libido? At start of my reboot, about 2 weeks my libido was 10/10, then 0-2/10:(

    • Alexander says:

      I forgot. I’m 23 years old, and my cause for reboot is no normal sex life with my girlfriend, becouse my errection was bad and I can’t have orgasm. I saw high speed internet porn about 5 years :(

    • Hi Alexander,

      Thanks for your comment.

      The verdict is split on whether you should wait to have sex or not. Some people have sex during their reboot, and others wait.

      My personal opinion is that around 3-4 months is a good timeframe to start rewiring your brain to sex with a real partner. This is assuming you’re already experiencing signs that your reboot is mostly finished (morning erections, spontaneous erections, etc).

      Libido will come back with time and with rewiring to real sex. It did for me and for other guys. Don’t lose hope.

  7. Hi Brian,

    My name is Sean. I discovered YourBrainOnPorn about a little over a year ago. My history is that I have masturbated since about 15-16 to 21 very heavily. I’m sure there were some days I went 7 or 8 times and edged heavily. Anyways, I’ve had two major reboots since I started. The first reboot was my most successful. I went about 85 days with 2 relapses. When I tested on day 85 the next day I had morning wood and spontaneous erections for the next few days. I don’t think I rewired properly and also incorporated to much fantasy so it went away. My second reboot was 120 days. On this reboot, while I didn’t watch porn and masturbate, I did have alot of porn fantasy. I have come to believe porn fantasy is just as bad as porn because I made zero progress after that reboot. Since then I’ve Masturbated for 1 or 2 week intervals.
    When I initially started my erections were very weak for both porn and partners. In addition, Erectile dysfunction mediation did not work either. I had blood tests done and saw a urologist. They said nothing was wrong with me.
    I was with a girl last night getting very intimate in my car. I was very attracted to her, however the guy down stairs was not that erect (10-20%). I noticed that I had a very large amount of precum when I got home and I’m not sure if that plays into the ED.

    I’ve become very frustrated because I have had many attempts to have sex, but my penis doesn’t work. I don’t know if I should do another long reboot and completely cut out fantasy (which would make sense) and then rewire after that because it doesn’t seem to be working now. I found your idea about getting a hobby to be fascinating. Maybe our brains need this hobby or activity to help resensitize us to sex. I’m not sure….but please let me know what you think

    • Hi Sean,

      Thanks for your comment.

      It sounds like you already know the answer to your problem. As you’ve discovered, porn fantasy can be just as problematic as high-speed internet porn itself. I would recommend that you do a new reboot, without porn or porn fantasy. Also, avoid the temptation to test your erections — many guys attest that this has set them back. When you start seeing the signs that you’re back to normal (spontaneous hard erections, morning wood, etc), then you can start rewiring for real sex.

      Also, it’s good that you ruled out physical causes with your doc.

      The habit replacement you mention is one of the most powerful tools in the reboot “arsenal” in my opinion. Make sure you chose one and stick to it at every craving!

      Also, it sounds like you may have a problem with semen leakage (sometimes caused by too much masturbation). You can read more about this here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-semen-leakage

      Best of luck. And don’t be too hard on yourself. As tough as it is, many guys have overcome the problem and you can too.

  8. 50 more days to go , im hoping

  9. Having gone 5 weeks without looking at porn i just had relapse. I’m very unhappy with myself tho i know thats part of fighting addictions. My ex g/f is coming to visit in 5 weeks time and i’d hoped to have given myself a fighting chance by then. I do have viagra to fall back on but havent been with a woman in over two years now. In the time i’d stopped i didn notice improvements – however as my doctor had put my ED down to smoking i’m still fearful that the porn may only be half of it. I noticed I was getting far better erections – but it was the ability to sustain them sometimes was a problem. Is the sustaining side still a factor of the lack of dopamine?

    • Hi Neil,

      Thanks for your comment.

      Good job on going 5 weeks without porn. That’s a big accomplishment. It’s a tough road and sometimes we have setbacks. It’s not that we failed — it’s what we do next that’s important.

      While I don’t know all the details of your specific situation, it’s important to keep in mind that many doctors still aren’t aware of porn-induced ED and therefore are more likely to blame other factors like smoking.

      It’s quite common that guys who have been addicted to PMO for a long time have problems sustaining erections. Given time to reboot and rewire, you should see improvements.

      Also: If you’re going to go the route of using viagra as a “backup”, try not to use it too much. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and try having sex without it (or with a 1/4 or 1/2 dose. If you find that you need it, make sure to wean yourself off of it so that you don’t need it indefinitely.

      Best of luck.

      Brian

  10. Hi Brian,
    I am very happy to have found your site and the “your brain on porn” site. I’ve been reading and educating myself on the topic for two days. Yesterday after four sessions of porn I was fed up and after a quick search found the your brain on porn site. What a relief to see there is a solution, hope and recovery. As I am just starting out I cant say how things will go for me but have a quick question. I have a long distance relationship with a much younger girl who I only see every few months. However we text a lot and although it is not sexting I think I am getting the same dopamine releases just from the thoughts and feelings I get from seeing her # on my phone. I suspect it would probably be best to curb the texting as well what do you think.
    Thanks

    • Hi John,

      Thanks for the comment.

      I’m glad to hear that you’ve realized porn’s negative effects and are looking to change it. Good on you.

      As for your question: I think the problem to tackle is first and foremost the porn. The idea is not to eliminate dopamine from our lives — merely to bring it back to the normal range so that REAL sex with REAL people is exciting to us. I don’t see “sexting” as a big problem unless it’s a trigger for you to use porn.

      Good luck with your sobriety :)

      Brian

  11. So Brian, this is gonna be a little crazy, but let’s do it!

    I am 24, been watching porn since I was 18. I’ve noticed that even when I watch porn (unless it’ s something different), I don’t get full on erections anymore and my libido is just…dead. I knew something was wrong and I wasn’t sure what it is, felt so empty inside.

    I’m giving up porn and testing my results (I’m on week one). I have a strong will, it’s easy for me to cut it out once I figure it is harming me.

    My question is this Brian: Do porn stars suffer PIED? The ones I watch have amazing erections and it seems they don’t suffer from it.

    • Hi Guest,

      Thanks for your comment.

      It sounds like you are ready to get sober and change your life. Good on you. Welcome to the community.

      As for your question: Porn-induced ED is from WATCHING too much porn, not from DOING too much porn. The difference is that when a guy watches too much porn his brain changes to want more and more variety (this is why guys end up watching extreme genres that would have repulsed them before).

      Also, remember that pornstars are not your average joes. They are generally unusually well-endowed and have the ability to get and maintain erections for sometimes hours of shooting. Put your average guy on the site of a porn set and he’d probably die from anxiety. So don’t compare yourself to ‘those guys’. Also, many guys in the industry take viagra or similar drugs to help them perform under pressure. Just so ya know.

      Good luck with your reboot!

      Brian

  12. I am rebooting .was 5weeks no porn no matubation had to release materbater to porn 2day in arow don’t intend on doing it again for a while is this ok ? Just looked at porn for bout 20 min

    • Hi Mike,

      Thanks for your comment.

      Okay, so you screwed up and looked at porn. Nothing we can do about that.

      Don’t dwell on it. Just man up and get back on track. :)

      Brian

  13. Hi Brian, I really like your website. I am girl of 22 years old, and since some time now I’ve realized that I’m experiencing sexual anxiety (although it is a common problem in men than in women from what I’ve read). I can hardly turn on, focus on the moment and have a orgasm. Obviously, this is interfering with my current relationship, because I worry a lot about my performance and my body, he has had many more sexual partners than I do and I feel that I am a rookie, I don’t know well what to do when it comes to sex, how to move and things like that, so I get embarrassed and avoid it. I read your article about it, and I would like to know what other tips you could give me. I started doing the relaxation exercises and even asked for an appointment with a sex therapist, but meanwhile I’m interested to know if you have other ideas to help me or if you could give me an opinion about my problem so I could see things from the point of view of a man and maybe help me to feel better as a woman. Thank you so much

    • Hi Angie,

      Thanks for your comment.

      I’m glad to hear that my post was helpful for you. I think you’ll find the relaxation techniques will help the more you use them.

      The first thing that came to mind when I read your comment was that you have an assumption about men that might not be correct. You didn’t come out and say it, but underlying your anxiety is the idea that for men, “women with experience is sexy.” And this is simply not true.

      Not all guys want a girl with experience. Personally, though I myself have had a fair number of sexual partners, I’m generally more attracted to women who are inexperienced. I think this is true for many men.

      I also find it a huge turn-on to teach sexual things to my girlfriends — like how to do x or y. The ‘teacher-student’ relationship is sexy, so why not embrace it. Maybe you can ask your boyfriend, “Can you teach me how to x?” or “How should I do it? Can you show me?”

      If you can, try to look at sex as something that is fun to learn. Maybe it would help to learn a little on your own (through reading for example) so that you can feel more confident in the bedroom. A good start would be “The Guide to Getting It On” by Paul Joannides.

      Anyhow, those are the first thoughts that come to mind. I’ll let it simmer and see if I have anything else for you.

      I hope that helps.

      Brian

  14. After recovery and reebooting process will the person be able to have normal sex and KIDS???

    I m really curious and want a reply…

  15. Brian, I just found this website and I’m in need of help. So here’s the situation, Im 20 years old and have been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now. Im madly in love with this girl and I have no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. About two months ago we decided that we wanted to have sex, and we wanted to do it responsibly (her on birth control and me using a condom) and two months later and I still can’t get an erection whenever we try to have sex. I had a porn issue and realized that a couple weeks after we started trying so in an effort to get my erection and libido back I decided that I was completely done with porn. I’m definitely not addicted to porn at this point and haven’t thought about watching it in over a month now, my biggest problem is that I can’t get the negative thoughts out of my head when it comes to getting an erection. Its feels like I just expect not be able to get an erection at this point. Its definitely putting a strain on our relationship and I feel like if I can get the thoughts out of my head, the erection and sex will follow but no matter what I do these negative thoughts always seem to creep into my thought process. She is very clearly upset and hurt when I can’t get an erection so what can I do not only get an erection but get these negative thoughts out of my head and get to the point where I can have sex with her?

    • Hi Robert,

      Thanks for your comment.

      I have a simple answer for you, but that doesn’t mean the solution is simple.

      It sounds to me that you have an intense negative anxiety loop running in your head.

      Now, what to do about it. First we have to get you believing you can have an erection. Can you get an erection on your own without porn or fantasy? (ie. just by touching) If yes, then it’s all in your head. And that anxiety is causing you to tense up your body and release cortisol — making it a bad place for erections to grow.

      The first thing you’ll need to do is to learn how to RELAX. Relax your body and your mind will follow. Here’s my advice for that: http://rebootblueprint.com/overcome-performance-anxiety/

      I might take some flack for writing this, but here’s the second thing I’ll recommend:

      Go to your doctor and tell him your problem. Tell him that you have so much anxiety about sex and that you haven’t been able to get it up for months. Ask for some cialis pills. Assuming you can get them, take maybe half of one when you’re planning to have sex with your girlfriend. You should find that with the cialis helping you, you should be able to relax and not worry about whether or not you’ll get an erection. You should be able to have sex a few times successfully with just that first pill. These will be the positive references that you will use to beat that negative thought loop of “I can’t do this.” Now you need to change that self talk to “Look at my erection. It’s huge. I can do this.” (Don’t give the credit to the cialis — give the credit to yourself. It’s a kind of self double-speak, but it works)

      Then, over the next few weeks of having sex with your girlfriend, slowly wean yourself off the cialis. Use less and less of a pill each time, until you’re having sex and it’s just YOU. This can work. But you have to believe it works.

      Hope that helps. Good luck! :)

      Brian.

  16. Hi Brian,

    I read your webpage and was really encouraged by your story. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions? I’m going through the reboot process now and just wanted to see if you could shed some insight into a couple of matter for me.

    Here are my questions:

    1. Because my porn use escalated from 1 girl, to lesbians, to guy-girl, interracial, milfs, anal, some bondage — Is it possible to forget about this stuff and transition back into more softcore positions? Were you ever affected psychologically by thoughts like “I hope I can get off by doing missionary position” or I hope “I can get off by a simple blow job again?” Do these thoughts start to die down as time progresses and I start to see more morning wood, and spontaneous wood?

    2. Will I ever heal to a point where my girlfriend can walk in to a room with her underwear on and I get aroused OR do I just need to get into the habit of it’s going to take much longer to get an erection?

    3.When you started having sex again — did it take you a while to start having consistent sex? (Like 4-7 times a week consistent) I guess I’m wondering if my libido will ever FULLY return.

    I don’t know. I guess that I’m just looking for encouragement that if I see this thing through for a 6 month reboot, or a year reboot, or a year and a half reboot (whatever it takes) that my tastes will hopefully revert back to just normal sexual tastes where I’m not questioning what turns me on and if I need something more hardcore. If you went through anything similar or can shed some light on any of this then it would be much appreciated.

  17. For me it is exactly one week that I cut porn and masturbation. I would like to say that I didn’t block any porn or deleted my favorites or something. I also still had fantasies and I also looked at some profiles of prostitutes in my town, because I got really aroused. After one week I’m pretty sure my situation got better already. My „drive“ is returning, my fantasy is working better and (i have to admit) I was masturbation without coming just to see how it works (and erections got better, also when I’m standing). So I think that is a reason to be happy about.

    My Questions are:

    1. Is it also forbidden to have an orgasm? I mean am I allowed to masturbate let’s say once a week to my fantasy or something? Or should I stay strong and fight my fantasy?

    2. Do you get erections now, just by seeing some girl on the street or so? Should one be able to get a hard erection from just seeing a random woman somewhere?

    • Hi Carl,

      Here are my thoughts:

      1. It really depends on how deeply rooted your problem was. Was it just a porn addiction or were you experiencing porn-induced ED? And if so, how severe?
      What I can say is that guys who are trying to recover from porn-induced ED should not masturbate at all (including fantasy) until their natural erections start to come back. It can be a long process for some guys — as long as 3 months or more.

      Once the erections come back, I would suggest trying to re-integrate yourself with a real partner — one who cares about you and is supportive.

      2. Personally, I sometimes get erections from seeing attractive girls on the street, but everyone is different. The test is if you get an erection when you’re in bed with a girl that you are attracted to.

      If you focus on thoughts like, “I should be getting erections throughout my day, but I’m not getting any”, then you’re creating anxiety. I know because I’ve been there in my mind too. Try to shut off these loops, focus on the healing process, and try not to judge yourself.

      Good luck!

      Brian

  18. Hi Brian,

    I’m pretty sure I have PIED, and I’ve abstained from PMO for roughly 80 days now. However I am unable to get an erection from manually stimulating myself. Is this normal during the rebooting process or is this for more severe PIED cases?Should I be concerned??

    • Hi Zoravar,

      Some guys take longer than others — especially in severe cases of PIED. Were you able to get erections with porn? If so, then it sounds like your brain and body still haven’t adjusted to life without it.

      If you think there’s something else going on, you might want to rule out testosterone levels or any other physical causes. Do you smoke or drink heavily?

      Brian

  19. Dear brian,

    You did great work. first, i exposed to porn at the age of 18. now iam 28 years old man.
    total 11 yrs of addiction. Unfortunately,not to straight porn but gay porn. Always gay porn, and not had any desire for straight porn.

    could you please explain me about gay porn.
    I want to quit desire,temptations,urges,cravings for gay porn. please help me.

    questions:
    1) Differentiate between straight and gay porn.
    2) consequences of watching gay porn.or thinking about gay porn.
    3) how our brain get damaged,while we watching gay porn.
    4) how can i remove the installed images and videos from my brain or mind permanently.
    4) Explain me in detail with lucid language and step by step recovery process

    Thank you..

    • Hi Peter.

      Thanks for your comment.

      I’m not sure I completely understand your questions, but I’ll try my best to answer.

      1. In terms of addiction and what it does to your dopamine levels, I don’t imagine there’s any difference between gay and straight porn.
      2. Everyone is different in how they are effected by heavy porn use, but some extreme consequences include: loss of libido for real sex; porn-induced erectile dysfunction; sexual anxiety.
      3. This video series might help: http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series
      4. It is a long process, but certainly involves quitting porn and rewiring your brain to real sex.
      5. This is out of the scope of what I can do in the comments section. Try starting here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change

      Best of luck,

      Brian

  20. Dear Brian, I have asked my husband to leave the house. We have a beautiful family. Wonderful kids in their teens. I am so devastated. Early in our marriage I found my husband masterbating to porn. I tried not to overreact and told him I was fine but wished for him to spend more time in the bedroom with me. I was so naive. Technically a virgin when I married him. I just wanted to wait for the real thing before having real intercourse. My point in telling you this is I WAS naive regarding sex with a partner. This is a long sad story of 20 years. Me catching him with porn. Him promising to stop. Me wondering why we only made love once a month. Me begging to make love more often. Looking at my size 8 figure and beautiful face in the mirror and wondering what was wrong with me. Then getting busy raising children etc. and telling myself my husband just had a low libido. And when we did make love it was good. So that was a good right? No. 12 years into the marriage I found out he had a porn addition. He begged me to stay with him. He told me he would go get help. We saw a therapist. He went to meetings, He took a new job. Things started looking up. I told you this was a long and sad story. Now after 20 years. More porn discovered. The severe addiction identified. After so many jobs and opportunities lost, piled up debt, a foreclosure of our house. Fights about his lack of intimacy and infrequency of lovemaking. His disconnected personality. His social anxiety. His inability to provide for his kids. All these years I just thought that my husband just needed a break. For someone to see what I saw in him. The intelligent capable person he really is. I loved my husband so much that I explained away what was happening. The truth is I was really in the dark about what was happening. Until now, when everything is lost. And he is gone too. He says he wants to get well. But I don’t read much about guys with 20 plus years getting well. Maybe you can enlighten me. I am not looking for false hope. Not looking to be in the dark anymore. I am ok with you posting this. I am wondering if there are any other females that have/are going through this long battle. And if there is light at the end. I wish I could tell you I don’t love my husband anymore and that I am moving on. But that would not be honest. I do.

    • Hi Deirdre,

      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m very sorry to hear about you and your husband and I wish you both the best. I hope he can wake up to what it’s done to his life — and yours — and get some help.

      For guys reading this: This is a wake up call. Don’t let your family, wives, girlfriends down. Don’t let YOURSELF down. You can fight this addiction and get our lives back.

      Brian

  21. Hi Brian,

    I’m 32 and have watched porn for about 10 years now. I started off reading mags like playboy when I was 18 and gradually progressed to dvd’s, then online porn as internet connections improved.

    For the past 5 and a half years my online porn viewing has increased to twice a week for an average of about 5 hours each week, as I bought my own laptop to use in my bedroom. The worst I’ve ever had was about 6 straight hours from 9:30pm-3:30pm. I find that if I watch it at night it’s very difficult to stop, I only watch free on-line porn these days and there seems to always be some new vids every time.

    Due to this I tend to watch it as soon as I wake up as I get called for breakfast by 9am so this forces me to stop.

    I’ve now decided to try and stop watching completely and have done so for 7 days so far. I did however see a sex worker last Friday but would also like to stop doing this, as besides the cost (approx. $300 on average once a month), there’s the danger of sti’s and it’s just not as fulfilling anymore as I’d prefer to be intimate with someone who actually loves me.

    I thought I’d share my story with you so you can get a picture of what I’m going through in order to best advise me.

    The main things holding me back in life and really upsetting and frustrating me are a lack of self esteem/confidence and anxiety, particularly when I’m in a group as I’m quite shy and introverted. I tend to feel quite down as well as I have no friends/ social life and would badly like to have a girlfriend but have virtually no chance atm due to my circumstances.

    The last invitation I received from a friend was for a 13th birthday party and the last big party I went to was a wedding in 1999. Since then I’ve only been to a couple of small work Christmas parties. I have no friends, only a few work acquaintances who I only see at work and they are all married. My outings are generally just going to the shops with my Mother and siblings.

    I’m also tired most of the time (sometimes I nearly dozed off watching tv as early as 8:30 – 9pm) and also quite slow to do things like shaving my face (takes around 45min) and get ready for work (around 60 – 75 min). I’ve had various tests but there’s nothing wrong with me physically and I don’t have any mental disabilities either.

    I have never been kissed (except by sex workers who I’ve only ever had sex with) never been on a date or had a girlfriend and I have no friends/social life. I live in Sydney, Australia, I’m about 5’8, european background but born here, well groomed/presented and polite, have a slim fit looking body and although I’m no Brad Pitt, I’ve been told by some people that I’m a handsome guy but I seem to be invisible to women and I always get the nice guy tag (I’ve been called a nice guy so many times that it’s starting to annoy me, even though its true!)

    I’ve always been shy and social situations have never been my strong point. However, when I was young (pre-teen years) I was more bubbly, laughed more and just happier in general. The reasons for this was that besides being a typical care-free child, I had a life in that I had some friends and always had a best friend. I even recall being friendly with some girls in my class when I was around 10 – 11 in that I’d ask them if they liked me and had the types of interactions with them that were typical of other boys my age.

    Unfortunately things started going pear shaped from high school. It’s hard to put a finger on any one factor but there are several that I’ve identified. For one, most of my friends went to a different high school and so suddenly I found myself in a new group with only a couple of friends from my old school. At first things went ok but I never really felt like I fitted in.

    The other thing being I hit puberty early so I became quite self-conscious and other boys, including so called friends, began picking on me due to this and also due to being an easy target in that I couldn’t stand up for myself.

    From middle high school this got worse in that my ‘friends’ began to pick on me pretty much on a daily basis. It was never physical but silly mind game type bullying such as giving me the silent treatment and throwing my stuff around. As a result of this my self esteem/confidence hit rock bottom and I became increasingly withdrawn from society and became quite an anxious/tense person. I was so ashamed, that I didn’t tell any of my teachers or parents that this was happening, I guess that like most bullying victims I somehow believed it was my fault. I considered leaving this group or even joining another school but I didn’t as I was afraid that I’d be stuck on my own as I didn’t believe I could make friends and didn’t trust people much either.
    Eventually towards the end of high school I joined another group, i still didn’t really fit in but at least they didn’t pick on me.

    In my early twenties I was working fulltime, I didn’t go to uni or Tafe as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I spent the majority of my spare time staying at home with my family – my parents and my siblings, playing video games, watching tv or reading. Sometimes I’d go out but this was pretty much limited to only going to the shops with my family.

    By my late twenties, I realised this approach wasn’t what I wanted out of life so I decided to try some new things. I’ve tried taking some martial arts lessons, dancing lessons and going to the gym, with my main goals being to make friends, and hopefully meet a nice girl. Unfortunately I failed to achieve my other goals. Perhaps it’s been so long since I’ve had any friends that I’ve forgotten how to interact with people around my age, I don’t know, but somehow I just can’t seem to make any friends. In my situation, my opportunities to meet girls have been quite limited and since I’m the kind of guy that you’d need to know for a while to truly appreciate my qualities, as I’m not great at first impressions, you can see why I’ve never had a gf, but I haven’t even been on a date! I’ve tried internet dating but was so overwhelmed by the (lack of) responses that I’ve decided I’ll have to stick to meeting someone in person, but I don’t know how this is going to happen…

    I have seen a psychologist but he didn’t really help me and basically told me I needed to go out more. I’ve also seen a hypno-therapist, a life coach and even an energy field healer but my life still hasn’t changed.

    The only thing that makes me feel truly alive is sexual intimacy. For me however it was never about just satisfying a physical need, it was equally about trying to satisfy my emotional needs and being able to be myself with the opposite sex and not being judged for who I was. The interesting thing is many of the sex workers I’ve seen don’t consider me to be that shy and are very surprised or don’t believe me when I tell them my story, as I tend to come across as a fairly confident guy and am a good, attentive lover. I guess I feel I can really be myself around these ladies because they don’t judge me and it’s just me and them and no one else around during our time together. One thing I’ll say about these ladies is most of them have been the nicest most down to earth women I’ve ever met and one of the reasons for this is they tend to come from poor families, just like I have so we kind of understand each other I guess.
    Overall, going to see these ladies is quite therapeutic for me, but I understand that at the end of the day, their just doing their job and what I really want is to be with someone who’s with me because they love me and not because their being paid to love me.

    It’s hard feeling lonely, especially feeling like you’re the only guy who can’t find a girl when it seems like everyone you know is already involved with someone and especially painful for me if I see a couple around my age being intimate in public, as I want more than anything else in this world to have someone to love. I’d like to play some tennis socially or even something like volleyball or touch footy, anything really that’s a mixed gender fun group activity but can’t find anything around my area. I know that if I can find a group hobby I’d enjoy, my self esteem/confidence would improve as not having any friends has geared my interests towards solo based activities. Once I can achieve this along with a social life I’m sure this will open up some romantic opportunities also, but it’s so frustrating not being able to find something to do that I’d enjoy (besides sex)!

    I’ll do my best to stop watching porn and seeing sex workers and see if this helps. I masturbate about twice a week and ejaculate after I watch porn on the weekends, sometimes I masturbate once during the week as well but without porn. I still have the odd wet dream and almost always wake up with morning wood. My sex drive is as strong as ever and actually stronger now than in my teens and early twenties.

    Should I also stop or cut down on masturbating? I find that by the end of the week on a Friday night for example that I’m so horny that it can be difficult to get to sleep. I fear that if I also cut out masturbation I’ll get to a point where I won’t be able to think of anything else except sex. With no girlfriend in site, this would be a major problem. I feel that I can survive on masturbating once a week though.

    I apologies for such a long rant but I’m just feeling so lonely, lost and frustrated and am hoping you can help me find a way forward, as I fear I could go crazy if my life doesn’t change soon!

    Thanks,

    Andy

    • Hi Andy,

      Thanks for sharing your story here. I’m sure other people can relate and you should know that you’re not alone.

      Here’s the thing: You need to start taking responsibility for what you do with your situation. You are in control and your life can stay the same, or YOU can turn it around and make it better. Nobody is going to do the work for you. You have to take responsibility and do the work.

      Get some new friends who aren’t mean to you. Find a hobby that you can do with other people.

      Most of all, CREATE AN INTERESTING LIFE THAT YOU LOVE. When you are doing things that you love, the dating thing usually sorts itself out. Trust me on this.

      When you’re feeling better about things, try the internet dating thing again. If your profile isn’t working, tweak it. There are websites out there that can help you tweak things to make them more interesting to women.

      I’ll be honest. From the sounds of it, you have a lot to work on. But if I can go from a lonely, porn-addicted guy, to having plenty of women in my life, than so can you.

      Here are some books to get you started on your quest for awesome:

      http://rebootblueprint.com/5-books-that-will-help-your-reboot/

      Now man up!

      Best,

      Brian

  22. Hi brian
    First of all, id like to thank you for the great help you are giving by creating this forum.
    Well my question is, does having phisical contact with my girlfriend from waist up and no sex yet affect my reboot if i only started a month ago?

    • Hi John,

      Thanks for the comment.

      To answer your question: I would say no. With a caveat: so long as you don’t go further than you feel comfortable with. I mean, if your girlfriend doesn’t know about your problem (I assume you experienced some porn-induced ED), then she might try to push ahead towards sex before you feel ready. If you had mild PIED and think you’re ready to try sex or other sexual play with her, go for it.

      Good luck!

      Brian

  23. Hi Brian,
    I am writing to you because I need help.
    For years I was addicted to porn and slowly began to lose my erections. Last year I had a girlfriend but still my erections were not satisfactory. It was around last july when I found your website and I vowed never to PMO again. In august my girlfriend dumped me and I used this as motivation for my reboot. Initially the reboot started well and I did not PMO for 5 months but as I felt my erection getting stronger I made the mistake of masturbating. Slowly I began to do this more and more and now I feel like I am back at square one. I have looked at your website and tried things you have suggested like meditation and keeping a diary but it is not working. I know you may say I have to MAN UP and get on with the reboot but it feels like my mind is stuck in a cycle where it takes over and I need to masturbate. I am also in college now and the majority of my work revolves around use of laptops and technologies and I am finding it difficult to escape the temptations. Please write back as I really do want to change my life for good.

    Thank you,
    Thomas

    • Hi Thomas,

      Thanks for sharing your story. I can see a lot of similarities in your story with my own. I’m glad to hear that finding my site helped you to start your reboot.

      It sounds like you’re wrestling with the cravings, which is probably one of the toughest things in the reboot. You mention trying meditation and journaling, but I think the biggest thing that will help you is to choose a replacement habit and do it when you feel a craving. Even just knowing that you have a “plan” in place for when you have a craving will make you feel stronger.

      Here are some suggestions for a replacement habit: http://rebootblueprint.com/7-healthy-no-fap-replacement-habits/

      Best of luck!

  24. I can relate so much to this. The first time ever i was going to have sex, i was so nervous i couldnt get it up. It was really humiliating. The next time, with another girl, the same happened. This just made it worse. The third time was with a girl that became my girlfriend. Naturally i failed the first time with her as well. Luckily, since she was my girlfriend, we kept trying, and after a couple times i managed to get erect. I lost it very quickly though, but after that time it got better and better until i didnt have any issues at all. We were together 2 years where i never experienced any erection issues. However when the relationship ended and i was gonna have sex with another girl for the first time, it happened again. I kept seeing this girl though, and it worked the second or third time, and after that – no problems for the rest of the relationship(2.5 years). But every time i am about to have sex with a new girl for the first time, it happens. Because it always has, and thats all i can think about. So now i am single and terrified, because i feel i am unable to have a one night stand. Cause i know i am gonna fail the first time. I know however that i am able to perform, i just need to get past that first or second time. I will try cutting porn now. I dont think thats the main issue since the problem is all about the first time for me, but it will surely help me get aroused more naturally.
    But do i also need to stop masturbating? I am able to do it without porn, it also works when i am trying to think about real life sex situations(no porn fantasies) when doing it, however, i do take longer to get a proper erection. I have watched porn only a couple times the last 40 days or so. I am having regular morning wood the last couple of days.
    Hope it works, would literally change my life..

    • Hi John,

      Thanks for sharing your story here.

      It sounds to me that you’re experiencing performance anxiety. I’ve been there myself and I know how devastating it can be. It’s like you have this negative thought loop inside your head that you can’t turn off.

      Quitting porn (which you’ve done) will certainly help — porn trains us to think about sex as a performance and shows us unrealistic expectations.

      But more importantly, I would also suggest reading about how I beat performance anxiety by teaching my body how to relax.

      Here’s the link: http://rebootblueprint.com/overcome-performance-anxiety/

      Best of luck!

  25. My story is nearly the same as any man here except one thing. My wife and I were swingers for about 5 years. During that time, I did pretty much everything you see in porn that is heterosexual – and a LOT of it. I loved swinging. Imagine porn multiply that by an order of magnitude and actually live it.

    Now that you have that tidbit, how do you deal with that as part of the mix? I don’t really think about porn when I masturbate or have sex, it’s the swinging that I think about. Now that I have ED and am going through the reboot, do you have any additional advice?

    • Hi Dave,

      Thanks for sharing your story. Very interesting perspective coming from the swinging world.

      Based on reports I have read about people having ED caused by over-reliance on fantasy, I would suggest cutting out the fantasy completely. If you don’t have plans to go back to the swinging world, you need to train your brain that having sex means with just one woman. This means not masturbating to fantasies involving multiple partners and other “crazy” things that you used to do. It will be tough, but as many guys experience, time can heal even the deepest wounds.

      Best of luck. Keep us posted.

  26. Hey Brian,

    I really appreciate all the information on your website and was intrigued by the progressive muscle relaxation bit. My history is that I’ve had performance anxiety with the last few women I’ve been with and have been unable to maintain an erection. So, reinforced negative experience haha. If I began doing that meditation/progressive relaxation, how will that affect my performance. Is it a tool that I should use during or before sex, or will it create an overall more relaxed body state in general? Thanks!

    • Hi Phil,

      Thanks for your question.

      I used the progressive relaxation daily (I actually would do it once in the morning and once before I went to bed) to create a more relaxed state in my body in general. It also teaches you to be aware of how your body feels relaxed vs. tensed up.

      On a side note: it sounds like you’re not with a consistent partner to work on this. Having someone you trust and really feel comfortable with was one of the keys to overcome this obstacle for me and many other guys I’ve talked with.

      Hope that helps!

  27. So I’ve after my break up with my girlfriend almost a year ago I’ve attempted sex twice with failure. My second attempt is with my new girlfriend and my inability to get an erection really upset her. She’s really frustrated that she can’t have me but is being understanding, I wish I could deliver!

    Before my new girlfriend my first attempt at sex with a new girl was a failure and I was really embarrassed and since then I haven’t watched porn in over 6 weeks, but have masturbated about 3 times within that gap. I’m trying to cut masturbation out of my life in hopes to regain my erections.

    With my new girlfriend, she’s very beautiful and I want her badly but I just feel like my sex drive isn’t as high as it used to be. I’m starting to regain erections but they’re not all the way hard (I’d say 85% erect haha) I feel really bad about myself unable to do this with her because I know she wants to.

    I used to masturbate to porn once (sometimes 2-3 times) everyday, this seems less extreme then most people I’m seeing on here, but could this still be the what is affecting my sex drive? I need to change quick before my girlfriend gets tired of waiting please help!

    Also I’m 18 in high school so buying that mental potency healer DVD is out of the question. I’ve read your articles and will be starting some of your relaxation techniques today.

    Is there still hope for me?

    • Hi Matt,

      Thanks for sharing your story. To answer your question: of course there is hope for you! MANY guys have overcome this. It’s something that most guys will face at one time or another in their lives.

      Here’s some thoughts on your issue. While it sounds like overuse of porn may have been a factor in your problems, it seems to me that the root of it is performance anxiety.

      While I do recommend the Mental Impotence Healer mp3, it isn’t essential to help your problem.

      The exercises I describe in the article on performance anxiety really did help me, and they can help you too. I would suggest doing them twice a day to really feel what your body is like in a relaxed state vs. tensed up. This way you can train your body to get into a relaxed state much easier.

      For now, while you’re with your girlfriend, focus on having fun and pleasing her. Maybe ask her if you can just “take sex off the table” for a bit because you’re too nervous. Even just saying this can help take the pressure off.

      Keep us posted on how things are going.

      Best of luck!

  28. hey so i just bought ur product for overcoming porn ed I’m having trouble with one night stands and having a erection when i have sex i can get it up in seconds with porn milovana ruined my life now I’m trying to get it back together and am willing to do anything my question i have is going out to bars and clubs and trying to pick up woman is it still fine to do considering its with a real person and if do pick up a lady is it okay to use the blue drug so i cAN get it up…. let me know asap

  29. Hi so i just masterbated without porn to see the difference and it took me 1 minute and 39 seconds to get hard enough to penetrate but i still was not half to as hard as i am with milovana website should I’m going to Focus on both of ur products cuz i want success let me know asap
    cheers :)

  30. Hi Brian

    So I’ve been seeing this guy and when we went to move things into the bedroom he told me he had ED but that recently he had come across this site and others and realised his ED was most likely related to porn use and that hopefully with nofap he could overcome it. So he’s a few weeks into his reboot now but the whole time he’s been rebooting we’ve also been fooling around. We’ve operated on a system of him not getting to touch his penis but I can, he doesn’t usually get more than a semi and doesn’t orgasm. We’ve both really been enjoying this fooling around time and been clear from the start that full erections are not going to happen for a long time and I’m fine with that and made it clear there s no pressure at all. But looking at your site I’m just wondering if this is ok? I don’t want to be doing anything that would harm his recovery but with a new relationship being physical to some degree seems kind of important. Just wondered if you had any advice? Any dos or don’ts? Or any other ways I can help him through this?

    Thanks

    • Hi Claire,

      Thanks for sharing your story.

      To answer your question: it’s not a cut and dry case. Some guys report that their erections come back quicker when they reboot on “hard mode” (ie. no porn AND no sex/oral sex/touching whatsoever).

      Personally, in my reboot, my girlfriend and I started fooling around after 2 months or so and I feel it helped in the “rewiring” process. However, doing this at the beginning of his reboot? I’m not sure. It’s worth experimenting, and please do let us know how it goes! Remember: there’s no rush, and unless there’s something else going on (physically, etc) things will start to come back after some time.

      Good luck and thanks for being an understanding and supportive girlfriend to your man!

      Brian

  31. bRENDAN says:

    Hi Brian, I found your website by chance, and while I do not have a porn addiction and nor do I have ED, I do masturbate daily. (It’s not unusual to go a day without masturbation though). Basically, I’m curious about what you describe as porn addiction and porn-induced ED. I masturbate without pornography, so I was wondering if you believe a masturbatory habbit can be/is just as porn masturbation.

    • Hi Brendan,

      Thanks for your question.

      I don’t believe masturbation itself is inherently bad. In fact, I think it’s natural and healthy. But I do recognize there are some people who can become addicted to it.

      A friend of mine, Alex Allman, recently recorded a video talking about masturbation, that basically sums up almost exactly my thoughts on the subject. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL7e5kG33B8

      Cheers,

      Brian

  32. Hello Brian,

    I have been masturbating to fake women all my life (since +/- 10, now almost 25). I was always successful with women but I never got aroused downstairs because of PMO. In my twenties I just ignored that and went for sex with a couple of women, but performance anxiety-ED kept happening. I was too nervous ofcourse. In the last 2-3 years I’ve tried to stop PMO. Just the last couple of months I was realizing that I was addicted and should quit cold turkey. After lots of failure I am now finally 100% fully committed to not getting aroused by fake women ever again and really done with fake women and PMO. I am now in my 70+ days of no artificial stimulation and the last 6 months just keep myself busy working, practicing martial arts, fitness, eating healthy, reading, laughing, just living and enjoying life, but of course struggling this thing. I know a few women with which I can manage to have sex, but I don’t want to experience the performance anxiety ED again. Now that I am pretty far in the process and really noticing that my believe systems about women (that were ruined because of porn) are getting normal, I wonder if the Mental Impotence Healer is a real worthy add on for my progress.. What do you think?

    Thank you for this website and your help!

    Jason

  33. Hi Brian,

    I stumbled upon your site and I have to say that when I read your story I felt like I was reading something that was written by me. What you wrote really resonates with what I have been experiencing for a while now.

    I’m 29 years old now, and back when I was about 21 years old I had an experience where I was unable to get it up. That was the first time that ever happened to me and I thought to myself, “What the fuck was that? Why didn’t it work?” As you might expect I was extremely embarrassed and I kept thinking about it. The next time I wanted to have sex again, same shit. Then I started to really panic and actually thought there was something physically wrong with me. Little did I know that it was all in my head.

    Now, I’m not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m a good-looking dude and it’s pretty common for girls to want to hook up with me. However, after those experiences I actually avoided sex completely for almost a year because I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen and it would damage my confidence and rep even further. Eventually I decided to just go for it and try, but when I tried to start up again I was very inconsistent. Sometimes it wouldn’t work, and other times where I was completely relaxed and in the moment and out of my head I did just fine. I even bought some cialus pills and would take a 1/4 of a pill before I would go out if I thought I was going to be hooking up that night. That helped a little bit, but I didn’t like the idea of needing pills. I just wanted it to be natural like it was before.

    When I was 24 years old I met a great girl who I wound up dating for 3 years. The first time I hooked up with her I actually had sex with her 7 times in one day all without the help of any pills and without the loss of my boner. Throughout our relationship I’d say I only had that issue about 5 times. So during this relationship I realized that was all in my head and it became a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only time it would happen is if during sex that thought would cross my mind for whatever reason and I would lose my erection.

    Due to other reasons (not the lack of good sex) we didn’t continue our relationship and I’ve been single for a while now. One thing that I noticed is that when I meet a girl I like and want to hook up with the first thought that crosses my mind is something stupid like, “I hope that shit doesn’t happen.” And of course, whenever I think like this, it happens. And to be honest, I’m sick and tired of this after so long. It’s such a frustrating feeling. My body even reacts a certain way when this is happening. For example, if I am in the middle of sex and that happens my limbs will go numb and I won’t be able to feel my legs or arms sometimes.

    This year I’ve been doing a lot of meditation and I’ve cut back on porn and masturbation drastically. For example, I used pretty much jerk off to porn daily from the ages of 13 until the age of 27 I’d say. This year I’ve jerked off to porn about 4 times total. So compared to my old ways this is pretty good. And another thing I noticed was that when I masturbate less I can actually last longer in bed which is great.

    However, I know that I’m still not 100% cured. Whenever I’m going to hook up with a new girl instead of thinking how delicious the sex is going to be, the first thought I usually have is something along the lines of ‘I hope I don’t fuck this up.’

    So Brian, my question to you is this – What do you recommend for a guy like me? I’m really tired of these not-so-helpful mental patterns messing with my sex life. I really want to get back to the days where I can have one night stands and threesomes without even having a doubt in my mind that I will be able to deliver.

    Earlier in this message I said, “Little did I know this is all in my head.” I KNOW it’s all in my head because whenever I am relaxed and in the moment I have fantastic sex, but the traces of that old thinking pattern obviously have been ingrained pretty deeply in my brain and I want to start taking the correct steps in order to get rid of them forever and start enjoying my sex life completely again.

    Whenever you have some free time please give me a shout. I’m all ears and I appreciate any advice you have for me. Thanks a lot my friend. Hopefully I’ll hear from you soon.

    -John

  34. if a person can stop masturbation. then porn wont be no problem. stop pleasing yourself. please someone else. i tried masturbation without porn. it did not last. i had to look at porn in order to masturbate. i have been pmo free since sept14th.

  35. Hi Brian

    I have a question about rebooting.
    Do I need to stop masturbating at all without porn?
    Can I have a normal sex life with a real person?
    Rebooting means complete abstinence from sex, fantazies or only porn?

    Thank you

  36. Hi brian I am so happy I found this your doing a great job. I was just wondering i still get an erection while having sex with my girl but only in certain positions. Doggy style and if she is laying down and I’m on top. If she is on top i won’t stay hard. Probably doggy style works because of the increased blow flow to my penis? I am now quitting porn and masterbation do you think that help me stay hard while she is on top? And while im doing this smaller kind of reboot should I not have sex or do you think it’s okay?

  37. Hey brian, i wanted to tell you something, i havent watched porn for almost 4-5 months, its just the random looking at images of bikini models etc. Also i have masturbated a few times because i could not help it, i went 57 of no masturbation and failed. Is masturbation a relapse ? Do i have to re-start my counter or shall i carry on from where i failed, i still dont get any morning erections but as ive mentioed i have not looked at porn for 4-5 months, i think i should stay away from masturbation completely, please get back to me.

  38. Hey brian, i wanted to tell you something, i havent watched porn for almost 4-5 months, its just the random looking at images of bikini models etc. Also i have masturbated a few times because i could not help it, i went 57 of no masturbation and failed. Is masturbation a relapse ? Do i have to re-start my counter or shall i carry on from where i failed, i still dont get any morning erections but as ive mentioed i have not looked at porn for 4-5 months, i think i should stay away from masturbation completely, please get back to me.

  39. HI Brian. I need your help to figure out if i have porn-induced ED.
    I was 16 when i first had sex. It went on for a year or so and i had no problems.
    Haven’t been sexually active since then (I’m 28 now), except for one occasion with a prostitute where i failed to stay hard and she gave up on me. I blamed the alcohol. Recently i met a girl online, from another country and we went travelling to Europe together. She is everything i ever dreamed of. We hit it off good and wasn’t long before it happened (2nd night on our trip). I would stay rock hard when we hugged or kissed and during foreplay. But when it came to penetration I’d go slightly soft, was still enough to keep going, and she would get off regardless. But then i needed her to help me finish. I had no problems getting hard when she used her hand or mouth. Throughout the whole trip i only finished 4 times during penetration and without her help, and was able to keep it hard throughout. The rest of the times i would give up and ask her help since i would be physically too tired to continue.
    About my PMO.
    I got more into it when i was 19 and had unlimited internet. It quickly got to a point where i would masturbate on porn once a day and lost interest in women altogether.(not attracted to men) Taste evolved over the years. I am able to get it hard and finish in no time while watching my favorite videos.

    I am meeting her again in January and thinking of marrying her.
    I do not want to disappoint her. Please help
    Can I still face chat with her while on reboot, and how long would it take?

  40. Hi Brian
    Thanks for a wonderful website and the work you have put into it.
    I am 52 and have been addicted to porn for over 30 years in its different variants, such as magazines, videos and now the internet.
    I realised over time that it caused me ED in which has resulted in ruined relationships.
    For the past few months I have been looking at a variety of websites to see what pornography does to the brain let alone what it does to sexual performance and I was shocked by what I had read. Since then I have tentatively been rebooting but not seriously.
    I had recently met a lovely person and we attempted to have sex but it failed on my part due to ED and this has upset me no end. So with that in mind I would like to now start this journey on a more serious note and begin to change my life around.
    I will start off with 30 days of no PMO as from today and record how I go.
    One question I do have is should I delete all my pornography from the computer or keep it just in case I relapse? Because I fear if I relapse it will be big time because I would have to go hunting for it rather than access what I already have.
    Can I post my progress on this site?
    Thanks once again.
    Regards
    Anthony

  41. BrIan, I am 21 and I suffer from porn iinduced ED.
    But I also suffer from something else, I feel disconnected from my emotions.
    I don’t know what I want or not many a times.
    I look at friends and I cannot realize how many things we ve been through together unless I really try.

    Do you think this could also be related to the addiction?
    I really want to “feel” again..

  42. Hi Brian,

    I’m very glad to come across your website. I’m 38 years old and have suffered from performance anxiety pretty much all of my adult life – takes one or two times with someone to get past the initial nervousness. Recently, I met someone I’m really attracted to and really wanted it to work the first time, as I figured anything else would really jeopardize the chances of it developing into a more serious relationship. Therefore, I told my doctor about the problem and he prescribed Cialis – I had been prescribed this once before five years ago and it worked fine. This time, however, it didn’t (it did give me one hell of a headache though). This has really got me worried now.

    My problem is certainly more performance anxiety than porn addiction. I have no problem getting erections without porn, unless sex is impending. I get morning wood fairly often, and usually when kissing a girl too. However, I will cut out porn and masturbation as I figure that can’t hurt solving this problem. I’m also going to try the relaxation techniques you describe and am thinking about ordering that other audio program. The thing with me is, I don’t think I really have a lot of stress in my life and am fairly relaxed in general — except for this problem. All of that being the case, I’ve seen you telling other people that they know it’s working when they start seeing their erections coming back. Well, I get them anyway. That’s a good thing, sure, but the only way I’ll know if it’s working for me is to try to have sex with someone. I’m just wondering how long I should wait until I try that.

  43. Curidpostn says:

    Hi Brian

    I have been masturbating for porn and fantasy since 12. I’m 29 now. Realized that I suffer from porn induced ed after I got married couple of months back. I started abstaining from porn and masturbation since last 4 months (130 days). I have seen some significant improvement.. like a comparatively lively penis. consistent morning woods etc. However I still feel that I’m not 100% fit for sex..my recent attempts have all been a flop. Not sure if I need some more time to fully recover considering the length of my porn usage/masturbation. My partner is cooperative as well.
    However we are planning for a baby. I really don’t want this porn ed to delay this. Please give me some suggestions on how to work this out. I read that ejaculating near vagina can help in conceivng. Should I try it out? Or small doses of viagara/cialis? Or shall I directly go for other options like IUI , IVF to get my wife pregnant? Any suggestions would be of great help as this kinda depressing both me and my wife.

    Thanks

  44. Hi Brian,

    Thanks for this website!

    I’m suffering from sexual anxiety and not PIED, one problem I’m having is the constant negative thoughts I’m having about sex. Anything sexually related I straight away think negatively of and I just don’t see how I’ll ever start thinking positively again about it. Is this just something that came overtime with you?

    Thanks.

    George

  45. Hi . I know there is some info’s about semen leakage but I want to know what do you think about my situation. I had ED because of PMO. After month of reboot I saw that sometimes I have semen in my underwear I had it till I started this process and don’t know why it happens. Do you think is it dangerous to my health or reboot?
    Cheers

  46. Dear Brian,

    I am a college freshman with a longtime porn addiction. I enjoy and am inspired by your emails, but I don’t have ED, am single, and am a virgin and plan to remain one until I get married. Without real sex as a replacement habit for sexual urges, and as someone whose hormones still fluctuate regularly, I often use porn as a stress reliever for my social anxiety and to stave off my horniness.

    I told my dad and a close friend about my addiction, but it’s hard to ask them for help when I get porn cravings – I don’t want to admit the thoughts I’m having or that “I just looked at porn, take my laptop away before I ejaculate”. Even after I relapse completely to porn, I’m so afraid of being judged negatively for it that I refuse to admit my actions, even to myself. I’m sick of the increased social anxiety, stress, and exhaustion that I get after masturbating to porn. How can I find the courage to talk more to those who support me and the confidence to believe I can finally overcome this addiction?

    Thanks,
    Ben

  47. Hey, I wanted to know during a reboot can you masterbate to nothing? I am 9 Days in and havent looked at or masterbated to porn. I don’t know how long I should keep it up because I feel the need sometimes to do it. The last time I came was with my girlfriend and I was only able to get half hard. It has a little to do with anxiety, also the fact I’m 23 and still a virgin but I have told her that it isn’t her. I feel it’s the combination of watching too much porn back In the day and the anxiety. But, I am like I said 9 days in dry and was wondering if I masterbating to no porn just imagining her if that will ruin my reboot. I have the will power to keep this streak going. I was just wondering if it’s healthy. Going from almost every day to nothing is a little extreme but I’ve been holding up. I see her again in 25 days. So I kind of want to wait it out until I see her again when I come back from school. Any thoughts? From 18-22 it was bad but have been slowing down a lot the last year so I mean it wasn’t a complete cold turkey but has been in a way. Thanks for time.

  48. Hey, I wanted to know during a reboot can you masterbate to nothing? I am 9 Days in and havent looked at or masterbated to porn. I don’t know how long I should keep it up because I feel the need sometimes to do it. The last time I came was with my girlfriend and I was only able to get half hard. It has a little to do with anxiety, also the fact I’m 23 and still a virgin but I have told her that it isn’t her. I feel it’s the combination of watching too much porn back In the day and the anxiety. But, I am like I said 9 days in dry and was wondering if I masterbating to no porn just imagining her if that will ruin my reboot. I have the will power to keep this streak going. I was just wondering if it’s healthy. Going from almost every day to nothing is a little extreme but I’ve been holding up. I see her again in 25 days. So I kind of want to wait it out until I see her again when I come back from school. Any thoughts? From 18-22 it was bad but have been slowing down a lot the last year so I mean it wasn’t a complete cold turkey but has been in a way. Thanks for the time.
    -tony

  49. Hi Brian,
    I am an 18 year old college freshman who abused porn viciously from an early age. I exercise daily and try to sleep well, but I have NEVER had a positive sexual experience. Since learning about the re-boot process I have tried several times to cut out porn. I am currently twenty days in (personal record.) All the other comments, as well as your story, pertain to guys who PREVIOUSLY had positive sexual encounters but that changed. In my case I have never had those encounters. More times than I can count I have dated a girl or brought her back, and the result is always the same. If I do manage an erection, I orgasm at almost the first touch. My question is two-fold. 1) is there hope? if I have no baseline to revert to will I ever be able to enjoy sex? 2) The Guided Imagery mp3 states that after listening to it, it is natural to masterbate (and is the only time I do.) Is this an exception to the PMO rule, or should I not masterbate after the mp3 either? Any response is greatly appreciated, I just want what everyone else has.

  50. Hey. I’m at day one today. I’ve decided to make a change. 17 years old. I have been using porn on a reg since I was probably around 13. The last two years have been really bad usage-wise. I first discovered I had a problem with my package when me and my girlfriend first had sex. Unable to get an erection (except from recieving oral) I thought it was an anxiety thing and I didn’t worry about it. But then it happened the second time. And the third, and I actively tried to avoid having sex with the girl I love. I recently found out about Porn-Induced ED, and upon finding this community and reading the stories of others, I have decided to make a change. It’s not as bad as I thought. I get spontaneous erections, and I have had moments of extreme arousal around my girlfriend with quality erections, but very seldom, and they were all at times were I wasn’t in a position to just drop everything and have sex. I currently live temporarily in the United States and am going back to my girlfriend in three months (at which time I assume she’ll be expecting some action). So today I say goodbye to porn and masturbation, and setting myself for three months of complete sulibacy. In three months we shall see if my brain has readjusted, and if not, I’ll keep working

  51. Hi. Sorry to bother you, but I am in a situation. PMO has been going on. I don’t want to get into details, but it is enormously important I end this problem by May this year.

    I am a 15 year old intellectual who has grown distant from friends who are interested in different things to me now. I mean, I have almost nobody my age I can talk to about my serious interests, but especially not my addiction.

    I have a crush, but to try to talk to her feels like selling somone fruit that looks fine outside, but is moldy, hollow and home to a family of flies on the inside. Since I want what’s best, I have been preparing emotionally to walk away. I am not even sure what I would expect to do with the girl of my dreams if it happened I could talk to her, anyway. My mom sees irresponsibility in me and I cannot say I expect change. Anyway, I want to see if you can help me overcome my problem:

    – I use most often evenings on my mom’s magazines or an internet browzer
    – I also use nights of fantasy PMO in the restroom.
    – Weekends make up over half of my problem
    – I have found it easy to navigate school days if I have an inner mantra.
    – I typically give in as a slow losing battle, biased and unable to see value in abstinence
    – 4 year old habit
    – I have school as a major source of stress and find myself rarely able to pull homework together

    My question is– what recources prevent my double-agent self from night and evening, or weekend relapse? What should I tell myself or do? Most importantly, what causes my habit to perpetuate?

  52. hello there im a 27 year old male and have failed many times rebooting. I think because I havent been able to have a good relationship so I am always alone. Recently I met someone. She beautiful in every way and i am falling in love with her. Sex is a huge must for her. When I found this out I knew that this time would be different. I have no choice to get through my addiction. I understand not to do the while PMO thing and I’m 7 days clean. In my new relationship we are moving slow so I do have sometime to recover since she doesn’t want sex right away. I have kinda hinted that I am going through this issue, but when it come time to get in bed with her I still doubt that I will have enough time under my belt because I hear it can take a year. Do you think most women would be willing
    To work with a man like me. I so badly want her love and I don’t want it to be ruined because of my poor life choice or do
    You think I should end the relationship and fix myself before I start anything with anyone. I’m so miserable and scared this is a really hard thing to go through. I’m also confused about the whole re wire part…. One last thing I quite drinking smoking were and smoking cigarettes I’m eating very healthy and been working out 5 times a week and that has been going on for a month now…..I’m feeling hopeless I just want myself back I need love and I can’t obtain it with this condition.

  53. Hey Brian, I’ve read several of the articles on this website and I’ve realised that my problem is probably a combination of Performance Anxiety and Porn induced ED, Ive cut out porn completely and I have not masturbated for a while now, my question is though, would you say masturbation with sensations only is okay or should masturbation be cut off completely?

  54. JOhn HSieh says:

    hello Brian,
    I am in a situation where i believe i am having PED, i can’t get morning erections and also normal erections during the day. However, i could sometimes get erection through porn. I did stop for a few days and got a morning erection and masturbate again. On the next day, i stopped having morning erection again but still continuing to masturbate. Now i am having trouble to get erections morning or during the day. Can you give me a solution please…

  55. LEGENDARYMAN says:

    HI BRIAN,
    I AM A PORN ADDICT AND MASTURBATOR TOO ..SINCE LAST 2 YEARS AND I DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW BUT when i read about problems like ED ,performance anxiety ….i just want to leave it completely and i can completely drop porn but the problem is with masturbation ,i can’t leave it for more than eight to ten days after that period i feel , like heavy heavy,like something is missing and i start masturbation again and which leads to porn (in my case) ..my every reboot time doesnot exceed morethan 10 days

  56. John Anton says:

    Hi Brian,
    I need someone to help me personally in the process of rebooting, i’m fighting alone!!
    is there any type of help can you give it to me??

    Thanks

  57. harrier says:

    hi,i started watching porn when i was about 12 years old,masturbation came into the picture a bit in my teens.i never knew about the effect it would have on me.now am 27,am about 2 months with no porn and masturbation.i have never had sex bfore.when i cuddle or touch my gf,i get a hard on.am about geting married in 3 months.i do notice signs of pied.what can i do?am scared.

  58. Hi Brian,

    I am a 31 year old that started watching porn around 11 or 12….it was my introduction to sexuality and I have struggled with mine since….I have always had anxiety related problems and most of the time my partners have been understanding and caring…..i recently started a relationship after a 3 year hiatus from any contact with a woman. Using porn all the way up until 2 months ago…..I have always known there was a correlation between sexual problems and pornography but hadn’t hit a bottom hard enough to have the resolve to end it..until recently, I have decided the only way is to stop permanently and recover my sexual health in any way…..I have been have LOTs of trouble and my current partner is understanding but I still feel disappointed in myself and sometimes question if I am attracted to her( we have been able to have sex a couple times) but when it doesn’t happen it really hurts me emotionally. It doesnt seem like its going to get better……I have ordered herbal supplements off the internet… I hope I haven’t permanently screwed up my libido…..I don’t even know what I’m attracted too because porn was such a major part of my life for so long….I’m pretty sure that I’m attracted to her as ED and PA have happened through out my life……I really like her and just want to satisfy her in bed. I am so glad you have this webpage and feel relief. Thank you for the inspiration but I still feel lost after I fail to achieve an erection.

  59. Hi Brian. I found your website recently and found it extremely useful. But I do need more answers as my case seems to be more…special when compared to other cases.

    I’m 14 years old and have recently decided to go on a 90 days reboot after discovering some reasons for not using porn while masturbating. I am currently on my 3rd day (3rd June), and I hadn’t cave in. But I’m still considering if I should really quit masturbating all together. I’m way too young to have any real sexual experience, so masturbation is probably the closest thing I’ve got. I also like to do it when I want to release some stress. What do you think? Also, how long do you think my reboot should be? I used to masturbate daily with online porn (yeah I know, not the best of habits. But if not, I won’t have to do this reboot), usually watching lesbian sex or girls masturbating.

    • Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I don’t have any sort of porn-induced ED and I could get an erection any time I want.

  60. Hi Brian.

    I am 39. I am wondering how my case fits in the with pattern. When I was about 12 I heard about oral sex at school. So I lay in bed that night and simulated a blow job while thinking of sex with one of my teachers. The sensation was so incredible. I was hooked. I satisfied myself with fantasy until I was introduced to porn via the internet in college. I started with pictures of celebrities then naked woman then hardcore pictures then videos. Only got as far as orgies and never watched or enjoyed any non vaginal hetrosexual sex. I had intercourse twice when I was 20 but was not able to orgasm. I had strong erections for a long time after that. I am a Christian and so I tried to quit it. But after leaving it I found I was so sensitive and I could not shut down the desire and I would crack. I withdrew apart from sport more and more and have spent far too much time in general on the internet and a day would not go but without porn and masturbation and fantasy of woman.

    I finally made the decision to make the effort to have relationships with real woman. I immediately stopped the porn, the masturbation and I found it was easy. Maybe I was desensitised. I met a beautiful successful woman. We have spent hours cuddling and kissing. We have done everything sexually that I would describe as normal except intercourse and her giving me oral sex. I find my erection very strong. But I can’t ejaculate through stimulation by her. I am wondering what your thoughts are as to my likely recovery. Before I stopped porn and masturbation I was finding my erection was getting number and I could get very hard but I could only ejaculate with a moderate erection. Thanks for any feedback in advance.

  61. Dear Brian
    I was wondering if you or anyone ever experienced this. Before my reboot ( 35 days strong ) it used to take forever to climax with reg porn and with the crazier stuff not so much, with a real women the sex would last for a very long time and no matter how hot or kinky or pretty a women was I could not climax without either continous oral or something similar. Now that I’ve disconnected and tried recently having sex again it tools mere seconds to climax! Tried a few more times and still same effect. Am I now a minute man forever or will the stamia come???? Thx for all your helpful posts and encouragment

  62. Hey Brian
    I just started my recovery and ive lasted for only 4 days and im 17 yrs of age and due to religious reason im not allowed to get them girlfriends and im not implying that porn is allowed but having a relationship is far more costly so i was wondering what exactly am i suppose to know to overcome this without having to pay for your programmes(even though i would love to but i have no financial means) cause ive always had those fantasies every single day and i cant seem to figure out what is it but i have been watching some pranks that involved women in very attractive clothing could this be one of the reasons cause im young and desperate to find a way without having to tell my parents so plz do help me Thanks for ur time

  63. Hey Brian, hope you’re well.
    Long story cut short but I am almost at 90 days of no pmo (80 days today)
    this is the longest i’ve been after 2 or 3 failed attempts. I’ve read many of your articles and other helpful content on YBOP; ofcourse I’ve come across random images on the internet but this is something out of my control, I quickly turn my gaze away when coming across such content. My only concern is I do not get any morning erections; are morning erections and indicator of being ‘healed’ ? does not getting any mean I am still recovering?

    any tips you can give me to keep going ?

    Look forward on hearing from you.

  64. Hi Brian,
    I found you website while searching on internet about ED and removing porn addiction. I am regularly masturbating from last 8 years and I am 22 now. I started my porn fantasies with bollywood item numbers and today i was extreme hardcore and bondage porn.
    From last 1 year i am suffering from ED as i am masturbating regularly from last 3 years, yes regularly… and sometimes 3-4 time a day. There are other problems also which i am facing i.e memory loss and sex anxiety. From last one year I am masturbating with out getting a full erection which now i consider seriously harmful for my sex life ahead.

    2 months back when i was with my gf and we were intimating. She gave me a blow job, though it was my first blow job but i saw that my penis was not fully erect i had to continuously rub it still it shows a very weak erection and it erect only 50% of its full length. My gf didn’t say anything at that time but i know she too noticed that. I am very nervous. I now my problem is excessive use of porn and masturbation but i fail to quit this addiction and i need your help. The problem is getting worse day by day. Today i only get erection when i see any rough bondage sex or extreme gang-bang on internet and too partial erection. I haven’t saw my full erect penis from last 1 year. Kindly reply this post as soon as possible and help me.

  65. hey Brian
    how long is it advisable for someone to start having sex in the reboot program and not as an escape route for the urges.

  66. Hi there, really need an answer to this question as it’s reall starting to affect my life and general mood.

    I quit porn after about 10 years of use. The last 6 years were pretty bad, only ever going a couple days without it but usually 1-3 times a day.

    After no PMO for about 4-6 weeks I got my first girlfriend and with the help of cialis I managed to finally have proper intercourse. After about 2-3 weeks of success I hit a flat line and now I can’t perform even with cialis/Viagra.

    We’ve been together now for almost 7 months and for around 5 months I’ve been using cialis with mixed results. I sometimes get spontaneous erections, I get fully hard most of the time just from touching/kissing her and I really do crave sex with her. Problem is, 80% of the time I lose my erection after about 5-10 sometimes 15mins of sex. On the odd occasion I’ve gone fine to completion but it’s really starting to bug me.

    I can usually stay hard most of the time during oral/handjobs.

    Is having sex like this ok for my rewiring? I occasionally fantasise but have made a real effort to stop this after realising it was not good to do. I haven’t watched/looked at porn for over 5 months now.

    Will my erections ever go back to normal? Please help. I’m hoping it’s only taking this long because of how long abused PMO and I really don’t want yo stop having sex.

  67. Hi Brian,

    First thanks for all the great tips, given the amount of bs info available online nowadays on these topics :)

    Have a quick one for you: been dating this girl for 10 months, first long distance and now I moved in with her. We used to meet up once every 2 months and sex was always great, intense and I always had this desire to have constant sex with her.

    Before I moved in though, I started to notice that whenever I kissed her this internal manly feeling that I used to get (which would lead to a stiff and long lasting boner) wasnt happening any longer as intense. This inside feeling I guess we call libido/hornyness?

    I have always had many one night stands before and I dont have much experience having sex with girls that I am actually in love with. And I really love this girl, the more I get to know her the more I love her. I am certain about that.

    I have recently used some pills and they worked fine but I want to be able to have sex without them, like we used to before. For some reason there is something in my brain blocking me from seeing her with the same sexual desire as I did before, even though she is a very attractive girl.

    I am not sure how to tackle this; I am healthy, normal libido and testosterone. I had nervous experiences in the past that I got over so I think it is more about being able to transform that love I have for her into a sexual desire as well.

    Any tips on that or how to go about this? We do have other ways of pleasuring ourselves but I really want to have that drive again.

    Thanks!

  68. Peter antwan says:

    Hello Brian,
    First, I would like to thank you for this community. This website is the only one that can really provide help on the internet.
    Please take a look at my case (I’ll make it short) and give me your advice.
    I am 27, When I masturbated for the first time, it was even before my first wet dream (about 15 years ago), something wrong went on and I had severe pain in my penis (I found later that I was injured inside my penis as if it’s broken, and I have plaques inside “Peyronie’s disease” ). After this incident, my penis was bent downwards in a way that normal sex is impossible. I didn’t know that was wrong because at that age I haven’t ever seen a normal penis.

    After I knew there’s something wrong (about 3-4 years later), I had severe depression towards relationships, and I took a decision that I will never get married or have a relationship at all.
    I kept masturbating over and over for 15 years till now (watching porn of course). For the last 2 years, I have been masturbating on porn with a frequency of about (2-3 times/day). And now, I have no erection at all. And if my penis sometimes engorges, it goes back flaccid in a second. I even ejaculate while masturbation while it’s flaccid!!!

    Now I have 2 major problems, peyronie’s disease (Curvature of the penis about 45 degrees downwards), and severe ED( + immature ejaculation + seminal leakage + no desire at all.)

    I went to a physicist, and did a penile duplex. The penile duplex showed significant plaques inside, but the physicist is not convinced there’re plaques inside because he says he should feel them using his hand. (May be they’re gone over the time, but left some smoother tissue inside… I don’t really know why he can’t feel them).

    Now the physicist is trying to convince me to do a penile implant, because all what he sees is a very weak erection, and a penis curvature. He doesn’t consider that rebooting may return a good erection, and he’s saying that masturbation is a good habit.

    I guess the logical plan is first to reboot, and if erection returns to the normal, then do a surgery to solve the peyronie’s disease issue, and straighten up the penis.

    I have installed k9, and gone through exercises and followed your advices. However, if I try to stop masturbation for a week, I feel severe pain in my testicles, and I have to ejaculate to stop the pain. Now, since I can not masturbate using only my mind (because I am used to porn), I have to watch porn again and masturbate. After a week of quitting, I find a greater amount of semen, and a very strong ejaculation.

    The dilemma is as follows:
    To fix my penis curvature using some easy surgery, I gotta have a good erection (Otherwise I will have to go through penile implant surgery, which I will certainly not do). To have a good erection, I have to reboot.
    To reboot, I have to stop masturbation and porn, but I can’t stop masturbation because of testicles pain. To relieve the pain, I have to masturbate, and I can’t masturbate without porn, so finally I can’t do the reboot!!

    Have you ever experienced case like mine, and if yes, please provide me with your advice.
    Additionally, I need to know how did you stop masturbation without having this extreme testicles pain??

    Thank you.

  69. Hi Brian, My name is ashley and I was really moved by the video of you and your fiancé as I am writing this really to both of you. I am in a three year relationship and I believe my fiancé has porn related ED. He is not willing to talk about it and becomes angry. I think it’s been there all along. I just wasn’t aware of the problem to recognize it. Even when we first started dating I felt he had a hard time orgasming and 6 months in I caught he faking orgasms with me. I have a three year old that he has been a daddy to since she was 6 months. If it wasn’t for her I may have given up. My love language is very physical and without physical interaction and sex I feel unloved. Now we have her and a three month old baby. I love him. But his addiction is destroying my self image. I work out and had an eating disorder as well in high school. I am very self conscious. It starting at about a year he didn’t want sex as often as most guys do. I had never had this problem with men before. it was one excuse after another. I’m tired, stressed, etc. I used to be Able to play with his phone on his unlimited data. Now I’m not allowed to touch his phone. He takes in the shower. And I catch him masturbating all the time and he becomes very angry with me. Now when sex is attempted. It feels like I’m not there. Just a wet replacement of his hand. There’s no foreplay and no attention to what I may need. I can even feel his frustration and see it on his face when a position isn’t meeting the expectation he thought it would. The reason I’m reaching out is last night this all happened he couldn’t maintain a hard enough erection so it would come out and he got frustrated and yelled at me to just get off. He later apologized. But these things are destroying me emotionally. I felt so degrading I immediately took a shower as if to wash the experience off. I keep trying because I want to salvage this relationship partly for my kids and for the person I know he is underneath. I guess I have two issues. How can I help him recognize this problem and love him through it? That ones for Brian. And to his fiancé. How do I not further destroy myself. At this point I think my performance is affected by the insecurity it brings no matter how much I tell myself it’s not my fault. I’m so mad at society. I am only 28 and him 30.

  70. Hello Brian,
    I am 22 years old and i have experienced erectile dysfunction twice in my life. I had a girlfriend in high school who i lost my virginity to. We had a great sex life and i never once expierenced ED with her and we had sex literally hundreds of times. At the beginning we used condoms for the first year but after that the next 5 years it was strictly unprotected. We started dating when i was in 8th grade. First had sex summer going into freshman year (early I know). We broke up summer going into junior year, and the week after i hooked up with a girl. We went to have sex but i could not get hard. It was in a car and t was raining really hard from what i remember but more than anything i think i was nervous. But after that me and my ex got back together and the sex was great again. I feel as though i never had a problem with her because i was relaxed and i knew how it was going to go each time because usually the sex was similar each time. Fast forward to my sophomore year in college we are now broken up. Year going on 2 years that we have been broken up we have had sex 10 to 20 times but never got back together and i had an erection every time. I might also add that i have been addicted to porn since i was 13 and have watched it pretty much every day every other day since then. It would make me last longer with my ex but i would always get a boner. My ex has a new boyfriend now and i wanted to get over her, so i ventured out. I met a girl and soon enough she wanted to come to my house so we could have sex. This is is the second time i experienced ED. I knew in the back of my head that the time i tried having sex with someone other than my ex it didn’t work out. she came over, we talked, watched a movie and towards the end we started getting into it. Making out, she went to give me oral sex and i just couldn’t get hard. I tried and tried and couldn’t get hard. eventually i got half hard and ejaculated on her and it was over. really embarrassing. What can i do? I watch porn because i am a very horny guy and I’m myself and have no problem getting hard. i jerk off without porn as well off fantasy usually thinking about my ex and it works every time. i hate this. I’m thinking about claims but i know that its because of my anxiety and that might not help. please give me some advice i would really appreciate it. thank you.

  71. I notice that the men here all seem to talk about themselves and I see very little, if any , reference to the hurt the cause the women in their
    Lives ir how that can be helped .
    I don’t mean to be rude but this seems somewhat selfish of them and im wondering if that’s why they perhaps allowed themselves to get in this position in the first place ?
    Has any research been done on the personality qualities of porn addicts , in partucular , selfishness , lack of empathy and disdain for women’s emotions ?

  72. Hello,
    I’m a girl, 21. Struggling with the addiction since i was 5 years old. I realized that most of the people are men here. Do you see a difference between men and women different from this? I had moments when i thought i lost hope. I was seaxualising everything. I masturbated few hours per day, using porn sites or not. My mind was foggy, i couldn’t concentrate on anything, i felt isolated, lonely and didn’t believe in myself at all. Never had a boyfriend, i am perceived as attractive though. Now, i am about week and a half without masturbation. The first days i felt great, but now i feel like before again. My question is, how long should i wait to really feel the effects? Thank you. My website is very helpful.

  73. I have decided that i will try no PMO to treat my ED and i have two questions in mind. Firstly, how will i know for sure that the reboot has been completed successfully and it is time to stop my no PMO treatment? Secondly, from your experience, about how much time will it most likely take? Since this depends on some variables, let me give you some specifications:

    -I exercise regularly, eat healthy and am stress-free (so i m almost certain my ED is porn induced).
    -My ED is manageable (for the time being at least). I can get erections without watching porn but as time goes on i seem to need more and more physical stimulation to get it hard and its getting progressively hard to maintain it without it, to the point that even while watching porn i might lose my erection. What’s even more worrying though is that it isnt as hard as it used to be and some times i am about to orgasm without even achieving a proper erection, which seems to start turning me to a premature ejaculator. What’s more, i have no morning wood.
    -I am 22 years old and have been into porn since like 13, while i never have had a girlfriend, even though i had sex a couple of times. This is my biggest concern about the time it might take to relapse.
    -I have recently started to form a liking for more perverted and extreme porn and seem to need a daily fix of it, even without masturbating on it, while i might not even get erect at times while watching it.
    -I dont masturbate to excess, about once daily, and rarely do i have long porn sessions.

    Will 30 days of no PMO be enough to get rid of my ED? Also, will these 30 days still strengthen my erection if i quit then without a complete reboot having taken place? Thanks in advance.

  74. hi
    I wish you have a program for Approach Anxiety!
    it would be great

    thanks

  75. Hey there,

    Would like some advice for quitting porn, with what I feel like is a weird situation. I am 20 years old, addicted to porn, and I have yet to be with anyone as I suffer from social anxiety, which is another story entirely. Most of the advice I read seems to be geared toward people in a relationship or used to be. As I’ve never been in a relationship, I find it hard to relate to a lot of the advice. But anyway, I read some of your articles and I have some questions. You mention abstaining from masturbation and porn for 3 weeks or more to try and revive your libido. Should I also abstain from kegals during this time? I figured if I can’t touch myself I may as well build up my PC muscle until I can. But if that’s not advised then I don’t mind waiting.

    • Hi Matt,
      Thanks for the question.
      All the research I’ve done and personal experience points to kegels being good for your erections. I do kegels myself (very happy with the results) and I would recommend doing them during your reboot.
      -Brian

  76. Hey Brian, got a question for you. I know this is very unusual and you might no be able to answer but. I’m 17 years old, and I’ve never masturbated. Because I’ve never felt the need too. I’ve never maturbated. Just rubbed and I’m starting to get worried that I will never get the urge to and will be a virgin the rest of my life. Please help

    • Hi Isiah,
      Thank you for sharing and leaving a question.
      I’m afraid I don’t have much experience to offer about this, however I did speak to my friend who is a doctor.
      There are a few questions you need to answer before we can figure out where you’re at:
      1. Do you find other people sexually attractive?
      2. Do you get erections from looking at sexual imagery?
      According to my friend, if you answer no to both of these it’s possible you MAY be “asexual”. Here’s a good article with an active comment section that may be helpful: http://www.asexualityarchive.com/possible-signs-of-asexuality-part-1-about-you/
      I hope that helps. Feel free to leave another comment.
      Brian

  77. And sometimes when I do just out of couriosity, my foreskin becomes swollen it seems like, and my dad has never talked to m about it so I have no idea about a lot of these things

    • yeah before the first time I MO that would always happen 2 me. just push through it but remember to not watch porn and follow tips on correct masturbation. and use realistic fantasy good luck buddy that first orgasm is what we all are left chasing enjoy it , itll be the best 30 seconds of your life. oh and for me my first time MO I thought it would never cum out.

  78. And when I do nothing even comes out

  79. How do I overcome porn addiction, when I have to deal with people who know about my porn addictions from my past. I made mistakes in the past concerning porn addiction, the sad part is just about everyone in the small town I live in knows about my porn addiction and makes fun of me when I am seen walking the streets or driving to a near by super market. The worst part I am called all kinds of bad names. I am trying to avoid porn, I did well for about one month without looking at porn, then I ran into some people who really hate me, and some people said bad words to me, then I turned to porn to deal with the frustration, but I wished I never got involved into porn. I am thinking about moving, and starting a new live in another city, I hardly have any friends. But I guess the reason I am addicted to porn is because I was bullied by a lot of people while growing up in a small town. All I want to do is get away from porn, I am sorry, if this text offends some people, I had a very rough childhood growing up, I am dyslexic and add, I am not the same as most people I am different, I was mocked and laughed at for my weakness, dealing with this pain was tuff, I guess this the reason why I am addicted to porn.

  80. hey Brain I think I’m in a bite of a spot when I was 13 before I started masturbating I didn’t watch porn until I was late 14 or 15 , but as soon as I started watching porn I got a fetish for watching interracial porn( im very embarrassed about it) …..this obviously would cause ED in me as I am a white guy. I think this problem is pretty common. I’m 20 now I can still get it up for my own touch (its getting more difficult tho) ……..do you know if this fetish can go away by just a prolonged period of abstinence…..maybe I need cognitive therapy I don’t know. and I am definitely addicted to porn It got so bad that toward the end I was MO to this stuff 6 or 7 times a day. I haven’t watched porn in 2 months but today is day two of my full abstinence reboot attempt.

  81. Hi Brian,

    My problem is a bit of porn-induced ED and also performance anxiety. Im on my 5th attempt in rebooting. I’ve gone for about a month with no PMO. Some days I flatline, some days I get arousing thoughts and erections when images of my old habits come up. Through excercise, meditation, and choosing to focus on other things I love doing, I am able to embrace these feelings and move through them without relapsing. (REALLY DIFFICULT SOMETIMES THOUGH, but it feels good to know that I it will eventually work out)

    However, I have one question about the mental impotence healer (I bought it through your website).
    I read in yourbrainonporn.com that during a reboot, that the golden rule is to have no artificial sexual stimulation – that includes audio.

    While the guided imagery requires ME to actively imagine these sexual scenarios, will it hold back my rewiring in any way since I’ve had both desensitization from porn AND performance anxiety?

    Thanks

  82. I masturbated to a video of me and my girlfriend having sex. Is that the same as watching porn or any better? Does it have the same affects on me as porn? Or does it allow me to be more comfortable and less anxious when we do have sex? Kinda like exposure to the stimulus and to stimulate my guided imagery and make me desire my partner even more?

  83. Hi brian..Im 18 years old and i dont get any morning wood or random erections like before from girls .. I dont even get erected from porn..I quited porn 7 months ago but i didnt stop mastrubating .. I was determined to quit mastrubation to after reading alot of artickles..Its been 1 month and a half i quited mastrubation..I was addicted to porn and mastrubation since i was 15..when i met my girl (cause the relationship is in distance) we had sex the erections was fine just the last 3 times couldnt erect at all..Im doing all kinds of exercises Like kegel , abdominal breathing .. I need some tips from U

  84. Hi Brian, I have realized that I have pied, and am attempting to reboot. Here is my problem, it is hard for my brain to even Imagine having sex (I’m a Virgin) let alone get hard with the idea. However, I’m leaving in a week to visit my long distance gf who is absolutely amazing and beautiful, and we both know that we are going to do it. However she has always had self esteem issues when it came to her physical appearance and has been incredibly hurt in the past. So I’m wondering if there is anything that I can do to help preform. I’m eating healtier and taking vitamins. I have quit porn, and am meditating and trying self hypnosis to change my subconscious. Is there anything that can be a temporary fix? I know ed drugs don’t work, but is there any short term cheat?

  85. What is it called when the brain stops PMO waiting for a reward ?

    I’ve read before about a thing i can’t remember what is it called , it was when you stop M , or P , but deep inside your brain it is doing this to enjoy a pleasure or reward after one or two months starvation , which causes relapse !
    so anybody have an idea what this is called ? i need to read more about it

  86. Hi Brian thanks for all you do it’s been very helpful, I’m 45 years old and started masturbating around age 13 with sporadic porn viewing, about 4 years ago my wife and I separated at which time my porn viewing ramped up considerably, after a recent breakup I decided to stop porn and mastubating and I’m 50 days in but wow! I’m having some crazy withdrawal symptoms such as horrible anxiety, intrusive thoughts and obsessive thinking which is really upsetting ax you can imagine, I’m wondering if my chronic masturbation was a release and a relief from anxiety and my fear is now that I’m not masturbating will this be the norm or is this just my brain rebelling and looking for a dopamine fix? Thanks

  87. Im 19 years old about to be 20 and i am having a huge problem with PIED. Ive been watching porn since 12 years old and it has lead to more extreme genres to get me off. Im at the point now where I am so depressed because I could have has sex with so many hot girls but after a few unsuccessful trys and realizing I have a problem I dont even try because of the embarrassment. recently Im at the point now where I know I have to stop. I most successful go at no PMO was at basic training for the army and I felt great. I actually started to have wet dreams (something I never experienced before) and I knew it was working. Befor eI got back home I couldent take it anymore and relapsed. (10 weeks) It killed me inside and im finally ready to give it up. the past 2 months I have been going good for a week then getting bored to the point where I jerk off again. If I actually do stop for good no PMO I wanted to know about how long it will take to be able to have somewhat normal sex again. I have to girls that want to have sex with me but I always put off hanging out with them for this reason. If I do stop completely I was just curious on how long till I should be good to go. Porn has ruined my life and I want to take it back! If I can get a piece of mind and a goal to work towards that should help me tremendously to reach my goal. I just hope that it wont take anymore then 100 days.

  88. Hey there – I have came here as I am having some serious issues (I’m saying serious but actually it’s maybe too bad).

    I was with a girl from 19-26 and in the begging I had regular sex and learn a lot from the relationship. I felt comfortable me and knew exactly how to satisfy her, as she did me. I felt confident and even when we went sexless I still felt confident with her. I never had trouble with erections and could last more than long enough.

    So at age 22 we went sexless and by 26 we broke up. During the sexless period I turned to masturbation a lot – seriously lots and I would force myself to come on some occasions.

    Now 26 and met a really amazing girl I struggle to come – this led me to get anxious and then I went flat last time I was with her. This is the first time in my life that it’s happened and I am in such shock and feel sooooo nervous about having sex with her again.

    She isn’t that experienced and is easy to satisfy. Sexually I can do it for her easily so I have nothing to be nervous about at all.

    I’m nervous though, what if I lose my erection again?

    I’ve stop madturbating to get sensitivity back. So as far as I was aware I would just keep having sex with her until I felt okay enough to ejaculate. If it didn’t happen then who cares she’s happily satisfied anyway.

    What to do? I’ve lost sleep over the embarrassment of losing my erection in front of her.

    Should I take something just to get my confidence back and ensure I get an errection?

    Usually a kiss is enough to get me hard and wet. I don’t have any issues with porn by the way, just anxiety – normal if you’ve been sexless since 22 and then have sex for the first time at 26!

    Please help.

  89. I am wondering if I was PMOing enough for quitting to have the benefits everyone is talking about. Before I quit i’d say I would look at porn probably 4 or 5 days a week, kind of like how you might just distract yourself by checking out fb or ig. So I’d say I’d probably spend 15-30 min a day total 4 or 5 days a week and i’d fap to it maybe 1 or 2 times a week. Before I was in a relationship I was fapping to it maybe 3 times a week on average. This pattern has been pretty consistent for at least a decade. Do you think I’ll notice any benefits?

    Have you heard of guys getting the benefits when they PMO as much as I did? So far it’s been a week and half of no PMO for me and I think i’m noticing some benefits – less brain fog, more confident/less social anxiety, more motivation, and it’s easier to wake up in the morning. I hope it’s not just the placebo effect or the fact that I just haven’t MO. Let me know what you think!

  90. hi brian
    in order to quit porn i use several techniques to kill urges as biting at the back of the lip with teeth taking deep breaths and having cold showers but when i am extremely tired i can not use them and this goes to a relapse can you give me some tips on it and can you share some tips like above

  91. Hi Brian thank you for your work.

    I’m on day 31 of reboot, on my second week i was circumcised. So that helped with fighting edges because was healing. Because of the stitches was getting multiple semi erections during the day.

    I juat want to know could the circumcision operation be detrimental to my reboot? Do vivid porn like dreams a type of relapse?

    I’m scared I possible destroyed my future with thi thing, started when i was 13 I’m now 25, the progression of what i needed to reach orgasm is trully shameful.

  92. Bruce hewitt says:

    Hi

    I ordered the product about a week ago

    My payment went through about 2 days ago but havent received any email to access the files

    Please advise

    Bruce

  93. Hi,
    I was just wondering if it is possible not to flatline at all. I started yet another no pmo period and again I still do not experience any physical flatline. I did 120 days of no pmo 2 years ago and never experienced flatline back then either. I did not suffer from ED either time I just wanted to get rid of the bad habit that is why I quit porn this time again. Very rarely I had mild ed like two or three times a year. It is almost 1 month now of no pmo. I feel intense emotional side effects (really bad depression, sadness) but do not experience dead libido at all. I started porn at young age 10/11 now I am 23. But I never really watched it for hours. Maybe just 20 min a day. Just to get high from the dopamine rush in the end and that’s it. What are your thoughts about my situation. I tried to look up online but there pretty much everyone reports flatline physically as well as emotionally. Do you think I am one of those guys whose flatline kicks in really late and the whole process lasts for years? Thanks so much for your responses. It really helps to hear back from this community.
    Kindest Regards

  94. Elizabeth says:

    About a week ago I found out my boyfriend is a porn addict. We are in the process of making a plan as to how to get through this with honesty and communication being at the forefront. However, I’m not really sure if we should be having sex. It looks like there are differing theories on this, but I see the time frame of 3-4 months a lot. Is it detrimental to the recovery and healing process to have sex this early on?

  95. hi,i masturbated to porn daily for 8 years…sometimes 2-4 times a day,and now i have stopped for 3 month,i have adhd symptoms,poor memory,chronic stress and anxiety,extreme fatigue and weakness…anger…

    i wanna know how long does it take to recover?
    thanx

  96. Hey! I have a question, I have been following the program for over a year. I’m am nearly free from the habit, I have something about 100 days streaks and I seldom give in to the habit since I have replaced much of it.

    I have one question about the program, I would really like a FAQ, because I think this one would come up a lot:

    1. How much should you avoid TV/Radio/Screens in general?
    2. You give advice to watch Ron Howards Apollo 13 in the program, there’s women in it, which could be triggering, should one really watch movies?
    3. I have a counter in my journal saying for example “10/10” free days from all p-related material. If I actively seek any p-related material through magazines/radio/tv/screens in general I say next day “10/11” free days from all p-related material.

    Where does the boundary go in watching tv/listening to radio? You seem successful, what is your opinion?

    By the way, I don’t regret buying your program, it has helped.

  97. Hello Brian,

    I recently came across http://rebootblueprint.com/overcome-porn-addiction-advice/ and saw that Reboot Blueprint also tries to help people of all ages break free of their porn addiction. I have recently created a free adult content blocker/filter software that can help people battling porn addiction as well as for parents trying to protect their children. I would be honored if you could link the software somewhere on your site (as a resource).

    This free resource tool can be found here: http://www.pornguard.org

    Look forward to hearing from you and thanks for all that you do.

    Cheers,
    – Brock

  98. Hello Brian! I’m Rafael from Brazil, 34 years old and I’m facing the reboot chalenge. I got 3 slip ups since the beginning. The first one after 4 months, the other two acurred in a time interval of 2 months from each other. The last one occurred last thursday. I realized that to me, the thing put me in danger is loneliness. This last time occurred just after my wife went on a travel with the kids. I’m happy that I realized that because it points into the direction of connecting to more people. On the other hand, often I realize I’m talking to women I know in facebook, for instance, with sexual interest. Although I feel comfortble in see how I can hold a interested conversation, at the same time I feel guilty because it is like being in betrayal to my wife. What should I do? Thank you very much for the website and all the material you give us here! Just subscribed.

  99. Is this site still active and sending out the emails with missions? The last one I received was for Mission 11 and it was 16th of July, 11 days ago. I do check my spam folders and nothing is there.

  100. Ok Brian
    Here is a question for you. On this link about anxiety
    http://rebootblueprint.com/3-tips-control-sexual-performance-anxiety/
    there is a link in the article that is supposed to explain the excited part of our brain and the inhibition part of the brain with a link that has a “HELPFUL” infographic to help us understand. To click on this brings up porn images that are less than helpful. Especially when you are searching for genuine assistance, keeping a clean computer to avoid wife fights, I thought as the administrator a bit more responsibility would be helpful to your future clients. When you put porn in an anti porn site it really is kind counter productive to the goal. If you want to help me please review your content a bit more.

    Here’s a helpful infographic to help you understand.

    • Hi Chris,
      I’m very sorry about that! I always have my adblocker enabled, so I didn’t see that there were pornographic ads on their site. I’ve taken down the link.
      Thank you for pointing it out and again, I apologize!
      Brian

  101. Hi Brian,

    Thanks for putting together this resource.

    You mention / advertise the mental impotence healer a ton. I don’t have mental impotence but maybe just some anxiety. Will this audio actually help? I know you’ve talked about it a ton but after doing some research it appears there’s no other “reputable” reviews out there. I get that you’re an affiliate marketer for them, but honestly is the MIH audio effective? It seems too good to be true and hard to believe.

    Just would like your honest thoughts. Thanks.

  102. Hey I love your advice and it has been so helpful. I was wondering if spending time on the internet in general is bad for recovery. I have a lot of work to do on the computer but in the back of my mind it worries me that I might be strengthening bad neural pathways even if I am not even thinking about porn whatsoever. Thanks for your help :)

  103. Hi Brian,
    My husband of 15 years has started to suffer from porn induced erectile dysfunction, he always had magazines during our relationship which he looked at when we weren’t having sex, but when we did have sex he was always up, always excited and it was always good. Last year he got a smart phone and started viewing porn videos. At first it was just when we weren’t having sex as a masturbation tool. This increased until he was watching every day when he went to work, it is now at the point where even if we have sex twice (traditional and oral) in the morning and twice at night, he would still watch around 7 porn films at work and masturbate twice during the day which has lead to him not being able to get or maintain an erection when we have sex. The kinds of videos he watches have progressed from low key, regular type sex and videos depicting women achieving real orgasms to extreme and hardcore videos featuring teens, bdsm, incest, rape, molestation and intense use, abuse and degradation of women. All of the sex we do have has become a replica of porn. He no longer enjoys blow jobs the way he used to and wants to ‘fuck’ my face rather than receive pleasure, he gets turned off if I open my eyes or look at him during sex, he only enjoys porn positions and sex where he fucks me hard and like an object but gets turned off if I move or have any control of the movements. If I initiate sex or try to take any ‘control’ then he loses or can’t get an erection. The effect of this on my self worth, body image, mental health, and physical health (rough sex causes injuries) has been devastating. If I try to talk to him about it he just gets angry even though I have worked very hard to own my feelings and not project aggression, accusation etc onto him. I feel crazy, hopeless, worthless and traumatised. In the past I viewed porn as something normal and something that didn’t challenge my worth, I invited my partner to be open about it and even share viewing it with me as part of our sex life but he never would. Then I developed feelings of betrayal based on his desire to keep it hidden from me even though I’d been cool with it.
    As my feelings changed I worked hard on not projecting them onto him, and started to feel like it was a problem I had. That I must be too insecure to deal with his perfectly normal male sexuality, that I was wrong or crazy, or both.
    When he started watching videos with increasing frequency and intensity, I just tried to work harder on myself and my feelings. But now the physical repercussions are severely affecting our sex life and I don’t know what to do. I think I need help in putting this into perspective and working out how to approach him about it without it turning into a fight, putting him on the defensive or further damaging our relationship. So please, I really need some guidance

  104. Hi, I was getting a handjob from my S.O. Last night, and I had masturbated earlier in the day because I thought I wouldn’t see her. This, combined with feeling shy or even guilty about receiving pleasure, when it is just her pleasuring me, and shy because the relationship is still kind of new, I was feeling it difficult to relax enough to climax. I am extremely attracted to her, and she was doing everything right but anxiety etc were getting the best of me, but I felt I would let her down if I didn’t come, so I was trying to focus really hard on the pleasure and all the ways I love her and how amazing this is to have this beautiful, amazing woman, who wants to pleasure me, but at some point in trying to coach myself, I said to myself, I am as attracted to her as I am to “certain celebrity.” And I then said, “I have orgasmed to pictures of “celebrity” and this is a real woman, and she is gorgeous, what is the problem.” Then an image that I had masturbated to of the celebrity popped in. I tried to push it away but when it popped in, I felt maybe I could climax thinking about it, or imagining I am with the celebrity.

    It made me feel guilty, but I think the reason my mind went to that is from years of training my mind and body to climax to images of porn or celebrities. I was hoping you could console me and tell me I am not a bad person. I will try to not reinforce that behavior, and I want to experience being with my real life girl, not imagine porn during sex. I guess I needed more of a reboot I have stopped looking at porn since this relationship started but I didn’t have time for a full reboot. If I don’t masturbate, or look at porn, can I reboot while having sex regularly with my girl?

  105. Hi Brian,
    I am 27 years old and my problem is that I get headaches and feelings of guilt after masturbation.I usually masturbate lying on my belly on the bed itself and usually watch soft porn to masturbate. I use a hard grip on my penis.
    When there is a gap of 2-3 days between masturbation, i don’t feel too much trouble and after a bath, i feel ok. But in other cases, i get headaches and feelings of guilt.
    Is there some other technique that I should use?

  106. the weight gain sucks, from low dopamine, welburin will help with that im hoping, I want to be 25 pounds lighter by summer2017, I have been going for walks everyday! my shrink needs to realize that they do have meds and or supplemnts to increase dopamine, but some have weight gain as a side effect, like abilfy, which helps with dopamine, maybe she can put me on adderal, can help you lose weight and increase s dopamine as well. I want a new shrink , A male who can empathize .Dude it has been over a year already, this blows

  107. Hi Brian!
    My name is Savva, I’m porn-addicted about 8 years and recently I learned about the dangers of this attachment.
    I’m very serious about stop it!
    I have a girlfriend and porn degrades the quality of our relations…
    My question is how much time must elapse (without porn and masturbating) to stop the symptoms like lost of concentration and bad sleeping?
    Can I have sex during this period and how often? ( I do not have the habit to represent scenes of porn during sex)

    I hope very much for your answer! Thank U !

  108. Brian,

    I recently started seeing this girl that I met and have noticed that I start to lose my erection right as the clothes come off and I want to begin intercourse. Before that everything seems like it’s fine but it’s almost like I freeze as soon as it comes to getting down to business.
    I’ve been porn free for about two months, but I’m thinking it’s more anxiety related then PIED related. My partner is very understanding and has assured me that she is with me regardless. Still I’m anxious every time I’m around her because I feel inadequate. How to overcome this ?

  109. Nothealtyman says:

    Hello I am 21 years old male. Since 2014 I am having loss of libido and loss of sensivity on the glans. My attention on women has become lower . Should I reboot ? And Does reboot works?

  110. I have a below average penis,how do I make it grow bigger without the pumps or pills or “magic shakes”

  111. Hello, Brian. Thanks for this website.

    Can the length of time between relapses effect how long your reboot takes, your mindset, and other outside circumstances surrounding it? Allow me to explain…

    I come from a religious background. I believed (and still do) that pornography is greatly sinful. However, I still watched on and off from 13 until about 18. I had an eight-year break before, due to a variety of reasons – trouble with women, unhappy with my job, inactive social life, recovering from very puritanical ideas – I had a relapse.

    I didn’t watch every day or even every week, but every other month. I fell into an EXTREME depression and my pride was shattered. I was basically dead sexually.

    Now, almost three years later, I’m coming up on a year free from porn, masturbation, and orgasm and in a much happier place. However, I still don’t get “excited”. To be fair, this last year has been very difficult and stressful, mostly because of work and having little time to relax. And yes, I will admit that all this does have me worried. I don’t want to have sex until I get married anyway, but even so, I just feel that there’s a part of me that’s missing.

  112. Peter gonzales says:

    Hello Brian,

    I’m writing this text not as a question but as a report of my case and how this website helped me. I want to share with people what worked for me from stuff I saw here – not to reject what didn’t but only to reinforce what did.

    First of all I wanted to say that I had a 7 year long relationship in which sex was never a problem. I could get perfect erections everytime and that led me to believe that porn and masturbation had no effect in it. Only when I was single again I realized it always had.

    Let’s go way back in time. I started masturbating around 12 or 13. I started slow, once or twice a week, and then it started getting more frequent. I don’t know when I reached the 3 times a day mark, but it was the norm for me for a long while – even when I was on a relationship.

    But even losing my virginity I had problems with Performance Anxiety – largely caused by porn, as I would discover some 10 years later – but just wouldn’t notice. My first time I couldn’t get it up. I thought it was because of another problem – my frenulum was actually really short and would make it painful.

    Then, after surgery, it worked alright with the same girl I had tried before. So I thought it was cool.

    But many times with my girlfriend I engaged in threesomes in which I simply couldn’t get it up. I knew it had to do with the fact that having two women at once was somewhat intimidating but never traced it to porn. Again, I would only be able to get fully erect with a girl after the 2 or 3rd attempt – the only time in these threesomes in which I performed well was when me and my girlfriend had been three times with this specific girl before.

    Fast forward to the future, I break up. It was a tranquil break up, no reason to get fussed about it or being with other girls. I considered myself fully mature and sexual active adult by then. Until I go for the first time with a different girl.

    I’d get hard until the crucial point. The first time I thought it was because I was too drunk. Maybe it was. But then everytime next it didn’t matter – I wouldn’t get hard because I was afraid I wouldn’t.

    I tried some four times with different girls. Some would be very comprehensive and give me time, but it wouldn’t work. After the initial heat, nothing would help. Having to put on a condom was a huge setback as well, as my sensitivity would go down and even if I had time to masturbate until I was up, the condom would bring me down.

    Then I found this site and dug through every technique there was. I was skeptical about porn and masturbation at first – since it never stopped me from doing it with my ex-girlfriend – but decided to give it a try. After all, it was an addiction.

    I don’t know how much I managed to abstain from masturbating because I had sex with my ex many times after, but it was more than I had ever been in my entire life. Not only sex was much better, but I felt much more confident and passionate and she reported feeling the same.

    The hardest challenge would still be with another girl. I went on a trip and had been a week without masturbating. Then I hooked up with a girl at a party. I had every reason to be afraid: I was quite drunk, she was quite hot and etcetera. Worse, one of my final solution tricks (recommended here) was out of reach: a blue pill I had been keeping on my wallet.

    I even tried to manipulate our night in a way that I would only give her oral sex and leave, leaving sex for another day, when I had a blue pill as backup. But things started getting hot and then… nothing happened. I was functional as I had been with my girlfriend for years. I had my condom on and had the best sex in a decade.

    From that moment, I felt my curse was broken and never had any more problems. I masturbated once (After coming back from said trip and being on a cam with the girl with whom I had managed to do it), but that was it. The rewards the abstention brought me are what keeps me strong whenever the feeling and the boredom strike me. It is totally worth it to hold yourself back.

    I believe it is okay to do it once in a while. Surely has its benefits. Just like alcohol. But if I were an alcoholic, I would be much more cautious than the average person.

    I can only thank this site for all the hints I got, some of which I’m highlighting down here so it can help others.

    Here they are:
    – Stop porn and stop masturbating. Avoid looking at pics of hot girls even out of a porn context (e.g. Instagram). It will make their body seem banal.
    – Buy a blue pill. Keep it hidden in your wallet. I never had to use mine but knowing it was there would make me feel safe – and that feeling safe would keep my functional. And if you have to use it, don’t be ashamed. You have a health problem and just like anyone you will remedy it. Some people take pills for anxiety, others for flu, others for depression. You take this for many.
    – Don’t be afraid to ask her to slow down. Do it as an order and not a request. Like: “Suck me first.” instead of “Would you please slow down.” Feeling in control and also heating up slowly will help a lot. Also most girls will get turned on by the attitude 😉

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