Sexual Performance Anxiety: The Complete Guide With 15 Actionable Tips

performance anxiety

Performance Anxiety

Most guys will experience a period of ED from performance anxiety in their lives.

For some guys, it will be a short phase, maybe it happens a few times and then as he gets his confidence back, and for others it can be a crippling cycle of shame, worry and completely avoiding sex.

A study in 2003 found that about one third of men experienced erectile dysfunction at least once a year.  It can feel like you’re alone in going through this because it’s not talked about, but rest assured that other guys have overcome it and so can you.

Simon’s story

Meet Simon. He’s a pretty average guy. A third year college student, relatively sporty and plays guitar in his free time. Up till now, Simon has had two serious girlfriends and a handful of one-night stands.

One night at the campus bar, Simon meets Amanda. She’s very beautiful – in fact, way out of his league, he thinks. But somehow he says the right things at the right things at the right time. And it turns out they have a lot of the same friends in common.

They toss flirty comments back and forth. She’s actually into me – I might have a chance!  Don’t screw it up!

After talking for an hour at a table in the corner of the bar, Amanda says, “I’m tired. Could you walk me home?”   It’s so on, thinks Simon. The two walk out arm in arm and walk back to her place, where it turns out, she’s not so tired.

But as they start kissing and undressing, thoughts start to creep into the back of his head. This girl is so hot. She’s way to good for me. What if I’m not as good in bed as what she’s used to?  What if she thinks my penis is small?  She knows some of my friends – what if she tells them about how I am in bed?

Amanda pulls off his pants and puts her hand on his boxers. Simon’s penis is completely limp.  She looks up at him. “What’s wrong?”

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The Most Important Tool to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

performance anxiety

I get a lot of emails asking about how I overcame sexual performance anxiety. And recently I’ve found a few things that have helped guys that I’ve been coaching and working with, so I want to share it. First off, let’s figure out if it’s actually performance anxiety that we’re dealing with. How do I [...]

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This Secret Will Help You Quit PMO For Good

Quit Porn

So you’ve read and implemented my advice about finding a replacement habit and using that to reprogram your habit cycle.  And it works, some of the time.  But it’s not foolproof, and it’s not easy. I’ve been studying and experimenting with habit change for some time now. I know what works well and what doesn’t. [...]

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5 Books That Will Supercharge Your Reboot and Make You a Better Man

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I have a secret to share with you: I am a hard case when it comes to habit change. It is a real struggle for me to make positives stick changes in my life. There, I admitted it. But because I am naturally such a hard case, it led me on a quest to find [...]

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The Secret Weapon in your Rebooting Arsenal: Meditation

WillPowerInstinct1

Okay, I suspect that some of you will dismiss this article just from reading the title. Meditation? Really? How is Meditation going to help me with quitting porn and rewiring my brain for real sex? Glad you asked. New research shows that regular meditation practice helps people quit smoking, lose weight, kick a drug habit, [...]

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Partner Of A Porn Addict? Some Advice

Partner of a Porn Addict

I recently received a mail from a woman (we’ll call her “Jennifer”) asking me for advice about her husband’s porn addiction.  I don’t normally answer personal emails asking for advice — I get too many of them to answer and also would prefer questions answered on the blog, where other people can learn – but [...]

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Reboot Success Stories: Full Erections After 3 Months No PMO

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Hi guys.  Today, I received a great email from a reader that I want to share. James (not his real name) has been off PMO for 3 months and has seen some BIG improvements. I love getting these kind of emails, because it inspires me to keep writing and working on ways to help more [...]

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3 Reasons Why My First 3 Reboot Attempts Failed

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I’m often asked in emails from readers how I was successful in rebooting. This is a great question to ask – learning from others who have gone before you is an excellent strategy. I’ve addressed some of the strategies that helped me out in a previous post. But what is equally important is why my [...]

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Porn: The Ultimate Waste of Time

Waste_Of_Time

Warning: this post might cause you to get angry enough to make REAL changes in your life. Imagine how many great things could be accomplished if guys didn’t spend so much time looking at pornography. I dare you to count up the hours you wasted watching porn each year. Just a simple calculation: average hours [...]

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